Why My Life is a Sit-Com Part 1
I have a friend who is struggling with some very difficult things right now. Now, this is a special kind of friend, a fella who lives in another state. So I first think 'flowers!' of course. But I have the feeling he'd think flowers are pretty lame. So then I think 'cookies!', and immediately cross that off because 1. I don't want to bake right now, and 2. he'll feel guilty about his waistline after he eats the entire package in one sitting. (I, personally, would do the same and not feel guilty. ;) )
So what do I do? I call up his ex girlfriend of course! She suggests snobby chocolate. She is, of course, absolutely right. She then drops that if I somehow got him chocolate from his favorite store in ... wait for it, Belgium, that he would, and I quote, "love me forever". Now, I don't know if I actually want this man to love me forever, but I digress.
So of COURSE I'm going to order chocolates from Belgium to be shipped to New Jersey! Easy, right? I'll just go to their website! Their website that is, for the most part, in French. Blargh. But wait! No problem! I have GoogleTranslate to help me!! (In truth, GoogleTranslate was a great help.) So I put in his address! Then I put in my address! Then I put in my billing information! Then I click ... well hell I don't know what I clicked but it was the red button at the bottom of the page. Hooray! Sure, the shipping is twice the cost of the box of chocolates, but hey! It's from Belgium!
So I happily await my email confirmation. Then I not so happily realized that, in my haste, I switched the addresses - the billing address was listed as him, and the shipping as me! Oh NOES!!! (this is a good time for dramatic music) Since this is a sit com, what is the first thing I do? Call my girlfriends and freak out, of course. Because, clearly, this is a huge deal on the scale of natural disasters. We consult. We discuss. I flip out a bit here and there. (If this really was a sit com, I would always look bizarrely beautiful when flipping out) It is about 3pm Chicago time, which means Belgium is closed for the day. The whole country, yes! So we all agree that I should send an email to the store in English and in French, and then call them up today to check on things. So I did! Yay for GoogleTranslate!
Around 11pm, I decide to test call the store, having never used Skype for international before. Silly me, thinking no one would be there at 6 am. Someone picks up, I get very excited, and I, being the silly American that I am, ask him if he speaks English and then yammer on about my problem. He laughs at me. But it is a good natured laugh. He says call back in three hours, no one is in yet. Au revoir. I decide that I should actually sleep through the night instead of waiting up til 2am or getting up again at 2am, since if I am asleep, I can't have anxiety.
My alarm goes off at 7am this morning, which is really not that awfully early, but this is a sit com and no one gets up before 9 in these things. I do not jump out of bed refreshed, no sirree. Instead I drag my arse around getting a drink of water and other things, and then come back to the computer to call Belgium. On Skype. Because I can do that.
I am placed on hold approximately 23 times. I called the pastry shop first, but I didn't know that, because thats the only number I could find on the website. I share my whole story, and the lady says, no problem, I will look in the office. She returns to the phone and says she can't find my order. I panic! Of course I panic! She then asks me what I ordered. I said, a box of chocolates. She says 'Oh! Oui!' and connects me to the chocolate shop.
I am placed on hold approximately 37 times. I am connected with the right person. She says 'Oui! I got your email! You are Sara Sherny?' I say, "Yes! Yes, that is me!" and a choir breaks in to song in the background. She says 'No problem!' I say thank you approximately 71 times. She laughs at me. Good naturedly, of course. 30 seconds later and I am no longer on hold with Belgium. Then we can cut to Monday, when the chocolates appear in the mailbox, and the clouds part, and the sun shines down, and the choir is singing ... ahem. Right.
So what do I do? I call up his ex girlfriend of course! She suggests snobby chocolate. She is, of course, absolutely right. She then drops that if I somehow got him chocolate from his favorite store in ... wait for it, Belgium, that he would, and I quote, "love me forever". Now, I don't know if I actually want this man to love me forever, but I digress.
So of COURSE I'm going to order chocolates from Belgium to be shipped to New Jersey! Easy, right? I'll just go to their website! Their website that is, for the most part, in French. Blargh. But wait! No problem! I have GoogleTranslate to help me!! (In truth, GoogleTranslate was a great help.) So I put in his address! Then I put in my address! Then I put in my billing information! Then I click ... well hell I don't know what I clicked but it was the red button at the bottom of the page. Hooray! Sure, the shipping is twice the cost of the box of chocolates, but hey! It's from Belgium!
So I happily await my email confirmation. Then I not so happily realized that, in my haste, I switched the addresses - the billing address was listed as him, and the shipping as me! Oh NOES!!! (this is a good time for dramatic music) Since this is a sit com, what is the first thing I do? Call my girlfriends and freak out, of course. Because, clearly, this is a huge deal on the scale of natural disasters. We consult. We discuss. I flip out a bit here and there. (If this really was a sit com, I would always look bizarrely beautiful when flipping out) It is about 3pm Chicago time, which means Belgium is closed for the day. The whole country, yes! So we all agree that I should send an email to the store in English and in French, and then call them up today to check on things. So I did! Yay for GoogleTranslate!
Around 11pm, I decide to test call the store, having never used Skype for international before. Silly me, thinking no one would be there at 6 am. Someone picks up, I get very excited, and I, being the silly American that I am, ask him if he speaks English and then yammer on about my problem. He laughs at me. But it is a good natured laugh. He says call back in three hours, no one is in yet. Au revoir. I decide that I should actually sleep through the night instead of waiting up til 2am or getting up again at 2am, since if I am asleep, I can't have anxiety.
My alarm goes off at 7am this morning, which is really not that awfully early, but this is a sit com and no one gets up before 9 in these things. I do not jump out of bed refreshed, no sirree. Instead I drag my arse around getting a drink of water and other things, and then come back to the computer to call Belgium. On Skype. Because I can do that.
I am placed on hold approximately 23 times. I called the pastry shop first, but I didn't know that, because thats the only number I could find on the website. I share my whole story, and the lady says, no problem, I will look in the office. She returns to the phone and says she can't find my order. I panic! Of course I panic! She then asks me what I ordered. I said, a box of chocolates. She says 'Oh! Oui!' and connects me to the chocolate shop.
I am placed on hold approximately 37 times. I am connected with the right person. She says 'Oui! I got your email! You are Sara Sherny?' I say, "Yes! Yes, that is me!" and a choir breaks in to song in the background. She says 'No problem!' I say thank you approximately 71 times. She laughs at me. Good naturedly, of course. 30 seconds later and I am no longer on hold with Belgium. Then we can cut to Monday, when the chocolates appear in the mailbox, and the clouds part, and the sun shines down, and the choir is singing ... ahem. Right.