move along, nothing to see here…
I really have nothing to say - but I have a need to write, so I’m writing. I want to take pictures, to write, to document the moments of my day, but I get so busy that by the time I sit down at night and realize I didn’t take one picture or tuck one random snippet away in my memory… it’s too late to go back.
It’s raining today - a front must have moved through. I have a headache. For a while, I stopped being as sensitive to barometric pressure & I didn’t get headaches from the changes… it seems, for now, that sensitivity is back. I know it’s got to be stress related, but getting this many frequent headaches is literally a pain. (Yes, I went there.)
I keep vacillating between being ridiculously happy about my life and ridiculously overwhelmed with the process and situation I find myself in currently. Again, I know this is stress, but the roller coaster ride has me feeling like I should either be medicated or taking some other steps to even out the peaks and valleys before I lose my grip on sanity, reality, etc. Quick story - in college, I had surgery & it didn’t go as planned. My recovery was supposed to be 3 days… it took 3 weeks. So, being cooped up in my apartment and unable to attend classes, I started getting a bit depressed. Once I could walk and get around, I went to the health center and talked to the nurse practitioner there. She got the doctor to prescribe me an anti-depressant (can’t remember which one). I started taking it, dutifully, thinking that I clearly needed help. Within 2 days, I became the biggest, baddest, most irritable raging asshole on the planet. By day 4, I went back to the clinic and handed the pills back, sobbing. The NP apologized up and down to me - apparently, if you are only situationally depressed - not clinically depressed where your actual brain chemistry changes - anti-depressants muck up your brain chemistry and turn generally sweet people into walking acid vats. Didn’t know that - found it interesting in hind-sight. Thought it was particularly interesting when it was NOT discussed in my psycho-pharmaceutical course in my Master’s degree.
So, yeah, situationally overstressed … probably requires lots of hot baths and sleep … and packing insane amounts of stuff to get ready to move. Good thing I took tomorrow off work. Long weekend of strenuous packing activity, here I come!
And, for the record, I have an awesome partner. Couldn’t do all this by myself.