(no subject)
So I feel like theres a void in my life right now. I don't really know how to explain it, I don't know what it means or what it was caused by. All I really know is I'm not very happy (I know, here we go again). Well I just feel like I need more in my life. In every aspect of my life. I don't think I'm living the ideal 20 year old life, when at the same time I simply don't have any friends to hang out with even if I wanted to. I think I'm just going day to day doing my own thing and nothing is happening. So this might sound stupid coming from me, but I want to feel special. I want to feel appreciated and liked. I don't feel like I am, and I don't know why. I know I'm not the greatest at being that way towards other people, but I would just like to feel special for a day. I can't explain it, but I guess it just boils down to... my life sucks right now. It's in a major rut and I'm not sure which way to go to get out. I keep having these dreams where I'm either falling, or I'm rushing downstream in white water rapids. Something like that. I'm not sure what it means but this is how I'm taking it. I'm losing right now. I'm losing at life and no matter how hard I try to break out and change I just keep falling, or I just keep drifting down stream. So that's about it I suppose. That's my life.