(no subject)
So here we are.
Why is it my life can never stay good? It feels like it's starting to go back to normal and then it crashes down around me. I don't even know what to say. Well, this is it I guess. You get one shot at life and this is it. You swing... and you miss. Sometimes it seems like every time. I can't just have a normal life can I? A life where I go to work, ENJOY my job, come home and have a nice evening with people you love and care about, and most of all just have FUN. I can't do it it seems. Well I guess a lot of things I know and love are about to change. I don't even know what to do. What DO i do? Nothing. Cause there's nothing I can do or say. We used to have the time of our life every time we saw each other. We used to drive around for hours with literally NOTHING to do. We would go to wal mart and target and wherever. Why? Because we wanted to spend time with each other. Because we wanted to be kids and just do what we want. It's funny how you add in an apartment and some extra bills and all of that changes. You find the text messages and phone calls that were once in your direction are now going to somebody else. It's not that you're worried about anything, you're just jealous. You want your friend back. I'm looking back on times in the yearbook room. I would go there for no reason. I would grab my lunch and meet her in there. The cool part about it was that she was a true friend. I never figured we would be dating so I could be so cool around her and her me. But it turns out we did have feelings for each other. And the story goes. So what now? What the fuck now? Who knows. One year might not seem like long to some, but it is filled with memories. Some good, some bad. But we will always have those memories. I love her. I don't even need to say it. So how do I stop hurting and go back to what I love? Can I just have my friend back? Im running out of things to say. I'm blabbing to begin with, but I'm running out. I guess that's it. I hope it's not as bad as I keep thinking. Guess it's just time to go ride the waves and see where it takes me. I love you. Always.
I just want my life back...
Why is it my life can never stay good? It feels like it's starting to go back to normal and then it crashes down around me. I don't even know what to say. Well, this is it I guess. You get one shot at life and this is it. You swing... and you miss. Sometimes it seems like every time. I can't just have a normal life can I? A life where I go to work, ENJOY my job, come home and have a nice evening with people you love and care about, and most of all just have FUN. I can't do it it seems. Well I guess a lot of things I know and love are about to change. I don't even know what to do. What DO i do? Nothing. Cause there's nothing I can do or say. We used to have the time of our life every time we saw each other. We used to drive around for hours with literally NOTHING to do. We would go to wal mart and target and wherever. Why? Because we wanted to spend time with each other. Because we wanted to be kids and just do what we want. It's funny how you add in an apartment and some extra bills and all of that changes. You find the text messages and phone calls that were once in your direction are now going to somebody else. It's not that you're worried about anything, you're just jealous. You want your friend back. I'm looking back on times in the yearbook room. I would go there for no reason. I would grab my lunch and meet her in there. The cool part about it was that she was a true friend. I never figured we would be dating so I could be so cool around her and her me. But it turns out we did have feelings for each other. And the story goes. So what now? What the fuck now? Who knows. One year might not seem like long to some, but it is filled with memories. Some good, some bad. But we will always have those memories. I love her. I don't even need to say it. So how do I stop hurting and go back to what I love? Can I just have my friend back? Im running out of things to say. I'm blabbing to begin with, but I'm running out. I guess that's it. I hope it's not as bad as I keep thinking. Guess it's just time to go ride the waves and see where it takes me. I love you. Always.
I just want my life back...