(no subject)
From the completely off-the-record and unofficial notes of Sergeant Arius Numitor
Bastion Eos, 25th of January, Year 240
It has been a rough day. Finally had some kind of talk with one of the shits that took our blood, and there is just no sense of responsibility there. I just hate that they can't police their own people, and I just know that if the Conclave needs to take action it is going to be all 'everybody is against us, boohoo' again. No sense of consequences, of loyalty, of dignity, of team spirit. Like we don't even live on the same planet. It bothers me beyond the facts of the matter, and I finally figured out why.
I am trained to think alike. Everything is so standardized amongst the Legiones Aquila that you can function without thinking. If I ever needed night vision goggles, somebody could throw me their bag, and I’d know exactly what pocket to find them in. We were like cogs in a wheel. And that may sound like a bad thing - but it’s not.
Nobody wants to think of themselves as cogs in a wheel, but it is human nature that we love structure. Our behavior is predictive. All of us tend to be in the same place, at the same time, every single day. This tendency is just accelerated in the Legion. And it feels good. It feels good to know your place. It feels good to wear the same uniform. It feels good to know exactly what you’re contributing to the mission, to the team, and to the Republic as a whole. Your value is so clear.
But on Eos the lines are blurred. It's hard to discover that value. You’re not sure where you fit. You’re not sure how you connect to other people. You’re not sure how to make a difference. It is hard to relate to other factions. It can be very isolating. And all you want to do is just to be back in the Legion, with my team, out on our own, being of value to the Republic.
Don't get me wrong, I believe in the mission. But some days are harder then others.
Bastion Eos, 25th of January, Year 240
It has been a rough day. Finally had some kind of talk with one of the shits that took our blood, and there is just no sense of responsibility there. I just hate that they can't police their own people, and I just know that if the Conclave needs to take action it is going to be all 'everybody is against us, boohoo' again. No sense of consequences, of loyalty, of dignity, of team spirit. Like we don't even live on the same planet. It bothers me beyond the facts of the matter, and I finally figured out why.
I am trained to think alike. Everything is so standardized amongst the Legiones Aquila that you can function without thinking. If I ever needed night vision goggles, somebody could throw me their bag, and I’d know exactly what pocket to find them in. We were like cogs in a wheel. And that may sound like a bad thing - but it’s not.
Nobody wants to think of themselves as cogs in a wheel, but it is human nature that we love structure. Our behavior is predictive. All of us tend to be in the same place, at the same time, every single day. This tendency is just accelerated in the Legion. And it feels good. It feels good to know your place. It feels good to wear the same uniform. It feels good to know exactly what you’re contributing to the mission, to the team, and to the Republic as a whole. Your value is so clear.
But on Eos the lines are blurred. It's hard to discover that value. You’re not sure where you fit. You’re not sure how you connect to other people. You’re not sure how to make a difference. It is hard to relate to other factions. It can be very isolating. And all you want to do is just to be back in the Legion, with my team, out on our own, being of value to the Republic.
Don't get me wrong, I believe in the mission. But some days are harder then others.