for: alcedines
From: kodak_85
Title: Bloodletting
Rating: R
Summary: Sasuke couldn’t keep himself awake, the back of his eyelids dashed heavily with crimson. Until Naruto grinned at him and talked of demons, of blood, and would he like some coffee?
Warnings: Gore, sex, self-abuse, AU
A/N: Your prompt was both challenging and intimidating. I couldn’t tell what you wanted more, humor or psychological horror, so I went with what I thought I could do better. Don’t let the self-abuse warning worry you, it’s probably not what you’re thinking. That being said, I hope that you like it!
Mod note: Reminder for the author/artist of this submission, please do not reply to comments signed in, if you want to reply anon commenting is enabled.
One hour-
Sasuke had a strange feeling about Naruto Uzumaki, even before he’d ‘tripped’ over his ankle and his face landed in Naruto’s fist. But Sasuke had strange feelings about a lot of people, and he’d learned to stay away from them. Crazy people, dark people, entities hovering in his peripheral that would pose no harm to him if Sasuke would leave them alone. He’d lived twenty years of his life like that, and through trial and error he found his way of going about things stable and secure. Safe.
But Naruto, he couldn’t ignore. And out of all the ‘strangers’ Sasuke had met, he realized later that, in hindsight, this was the one he should have kept the greatest distance between.
One day-
Sasuke rolled out of the bed that morning to a sopping wet pillow. Yelping, he jolted up in bed only to find that he’d fallen asleep on the ice pack he’d had pressed to his face the night before.
Grimacing, he flicked the deflated plastic bag to the floor, through the pillow in the general direction of his collapsible laundry basket, and swung his legs over the bed. He winced at the cold. His dorm building was one of the newer ones so it ran off of central air, which meant vents at the ceiling instead of the floor. Coincidentally, this equated to a semester of cold feet, even in the warmer months.
Sasuke stood and stretched his over-taxed muscles. There was a half bottle of muscle relaxers in his dresser left over from the torn rotator cuff he’d suffered last Spring, but he was lethargic enough this morning to even face the possibility of going to his classes on legs like over-mixed jello. He’d worn a pair of boxers and a band t-shirt to bed. He tugged on a pair of jeans flung casually over the drawer, slipped on his Converse and felt along his rear for his wallet and dorm key. Finding nothing but flesh, Sasuke spotted the items on his dresser. He fumbled for them, realized he was too tired even to slip in his contacts, to brush his hair or his teeth, Sasuke stumbled from the dorm room and was tired.
Sasuke somehow found his way to Anderson Hall without mishap and slipped into Ancient Greek like a shadow, slinking along the wall to the back room and practically falling into his chair. Groaning, he rubbed his palms over his eyes and wished the day were over already. His whole body ached with every bruise like it went farther then his skin, to the very bone. Sasuke felt cold, suddenly, and eyed the hoodies and jackets hanging from his classmates’ chairs with great envy. God, he was exhausted. Just one of those days, and if it weren’t for the fact that this was the first day of the new term he’d have skipped.
The professor walked in then, a helmet tucked under one arm. He nodded loosely towards his class. There was a general shuffle as they righted themselves, pushed their phones to the corner of the desk, and prepared to pay attention for the first ten minutes before drifting again. The professor wasted no time in passing out the syllabus and Sasuke rolled his eyes. He could’ve printed this out on the school site. He’d gotten up at eight in the morning for this?
Deep in his dramatized misery, Sasuke had failed to notice who had taken the desk in front of him. But when Naruto turned to hand him the environmental-friendly double-side printed syllabus, Sasuke felt as if someone had plugged him in to charge. Every fiber of his being was suddenly alight with bright anger, confusion, and a total awareness that left Sasuke feeling a little less than human.
Naruto grinned at him, dropped the waste of paper on Sasuke’s desk, and turned back around as if he hadn’t witnessed a non-verbal death threat. Sasuke seethed, and instead of paying attention spent the rest of the class thinking of an appropriate comeback to the impromptu brawl Naruto had started in the courtyard the day before. But when the professor dismissed them four minutes past ending time and Sasuke stuffed the syllabus into his satchel, Naruto had disappeared.
Two days-
Sasuke sat dozing in the common area, feet kicked up on the coffee table and a book propped open on his lap. He fiddled with the lid over top his empty coffee cup. He downed it in hopes of sucking up every drop of cheap caffeine to use as energy. He’d been drained since the weekend, and although he slept like a rock from the moment his head hit the pillow to the moment the alarm woke him up in the morning, it didn’t seem to be enough.
“Here.”
Sasuke started. Someone had taken his empty cup and replaced it with a taller one, a fuller one if the steam billowing from the lid was any indication. Sasuke glanced up and would have chucked the cup in his face had he not been so glad for the drink.
“The fuck do you want?” Sasuke snarled, not touching the coffee.
Naruto grinned, collapsing into the chair opposite Sasuke as if he’d been invited to do so. “I just wanted to apologize for the other day, over the weekend. It was my bad, I thought you were someone else.”
Sasuke didn’t buy it for a second. “You were punching pretty hard. Seemed like you knew damn well who I was.”
“Hey, you weren’t exactly pulling any punches yourself.” Naruto rubbed at his side, faking a comical grimace and making Sasuke roll his eyes and snap his book shut. “Hey-“
“I don’t have the time for your stupid bull shit,” Sasuke snapped. “Take your coffee. I don’t want it.”
“Sure you do,” Naruto said easily, leaning forward and resting with his elbows on his knees. “You look dead beat.”
“I’m not.” Sasuke was shocked at the realization that this part was actually true. He was wide awake now that he was standing with his legs stretched. “So you can go fuck off.”
“Yeah,” Naruto grinned, reclining back and kicking his feet up. “And to you, too.”
Sasuke snorted and made his way to his single dorm room. By the time he reached the door, his feet were dragging. Textbook falling from lax fingers, Sasuke collapsed onto bed fully clothed and did not move till morning.
One week-
Sasuke had a strange feeling that Monday morning when he woke up. He used that term loosely, as it was more of a slow crawl from his bed to the classroom.
The strange feeling only intensified as Naruto took his seat in front of him and then, amazingly enough, startled babbling at him like they were close friends. About how cold it was, wasn’t it still summer really? And here was his coffee, he liked it black, didn’t he? Why did Sasuke drink it like that, at least put a packet of sugar in it you bitter prick. Sasuke, for his part, was stunned into silence. His eyes scanned the room quickly to see if anyone else noticed something mind-falteringly amiss, but they were in fact giving Sasuke the weird looks, because he wasn’t talking back. Sasuke took a swallow of the free coffee just to give himself an excuse for something to do and to soothe his suddenly frazzled nerves.
Sasuke took advantage of the professor spending the first ten minutes of class lecturing listlessly. He stared hard into the back of Naruto’s head. He had bright blond hair, messy like he’d also just rolled out of blood. His shoulders were broader than Sasuke’s, but he looked to be an inch or two shorter when he stood. Blue blazer, light gray jeans. An average college student he’d traded more fists with than words in just a short week, and yet by all outward appearances he looked quite normal.
“You’ll be assigned a partner and use five of these ten listed sources…” Clattering of chalk against the board. Sasuke pretended he could hear the clock on the wall ticking just to help pass the time. The very air held in it an underlying threat that Sasuke could not understand. He perked up at his name, and then glanced to his left as he heard, “Ashton Chang.” A boy with a squinted face and dark hair waved at him, and Sasuke nodded back in acknowledgement.
At the end of class, Sasuke was hastily scribbling down the names of the sources in his planner as he stood up. Naruto hadn’t looked back at him once all class, and when Sasuke straightened himself it was to find the blond man absent. Shrugging his jacket on, Sasuke strolled from the room. Ashton was nowhere to be seen, causing Sasuke to frown. He liked to have assignments done as fast as possible. Waiting around made him antsy. Unnerved, Sasuke made his way towards the canteen for a quick bite of breakfast before Bio lab, figuring he’d catch Ashton on Wednesday.
But as it turned out, Sasuke didn’t have to wait that long. On his way back from lab, smelling faintly of ammonia and heavily of annoyance, Ashton caught up with him. His hair was in disarray, face flushed brightly.
“Hey,” Sasuke said, quirking an eyebrow. “Ashton, right?”
“Yeah. And you’re Sasuke?” It was more of a statement then a question. Without waiting for an answer, Ashton dug into his pocket for a crumbled up flash card. “Hey man, listen. I talked to the professor and he said he was cool with it as long as you were, you know, okay with it and all.” Ashton waved the card too fast for Sasuke to see. “Look, my partner and I… well. Anyway, this guy’s partner’s actually my roommate, right? So he said it was cool if we traded and all, it’d just be so much easier and shit and this guy said he knew you and that you guys were cool. So what d’you think?” This was all said rather quickly, and Sasuke just blinked at him.
“Sure,” Sasuke muttered, shrugging. He didn’t care. He’d do his point, mail it to the dolt he was partnered with, and be done with it. This was why Sasuke hated core classes so much. None of his real courses bothered with group work. It was get it done or fail. Sasuke liked that, worked well with it too.
“Great! Awesome, thanks so much. You sure you’re cool? Great,” he repeated, not giving Sasuke time to rethink it. “Look, I got his info and stuff for you and everything, yeah? Yeah, so, here,” he shoved it into Sasuke hand face-down. “I appreciate it man, really do. Good luck with your project, I owe you one! Shit, man, late for class. I really owe you!” Ashton slapped Sasuke once on the shoulder and jogged off before he had time to get another word in.
Shaking his head and inwardly thinking that anyone would be better than working with that waste of space, Sasuke flipped the index card over to read the contact information. A second or so later, the world constricted around him and his hatred of core classes intensified unbearably.
Goddamn Naruto…
Eight days-
Sasuke didn’t know how, nor was he sure he wanted to know how, but Naruto had managed to procure his phone number and had sent him a text requesting to meet for their research project that evening in his dorm room. Sasuke had texted back saying he’d meet in the library, and just because he was bitter Sasuke showed up twenty minutes past the designated meeting time.
But Naruto was all smiles when Sasuke arrived. He had his laptop set up, books in a neat pile, and a cardboard carrier in which sat two paper cups of what was presumably coffee.
“Man, and here I thought I was going to be late,” Naruto laughed, eyes gleaming with a wicked tint as if he could read Sasuke’s thoughts like a neon sign. “I just got here a few minutes ago, lecture ran over. Don’t you hate it when professors pull shit like that?”
Sasuke just grit his teeth and slammed his book bag down by his feet.
“Here, I brought you a coffee,” Naruto said needlessly, pushing the beverage at him.
“Why do you keep doing that?” Sasuke snapped, sitting down with great reluctance. “It’s weird.”
Naruto shrugged. “It’s sort of an ongoing apology, for starting that fight, you know.”
Sasuke snorted. “Yeah, how could I forget?”
“Look, man, there are a lot of people who look like you crawling around. Some douche stole my girlfriend my first freshman semester and I thought you were him. I’m sorry, I overreacted. Can’t you just drop it and accept the apology?” He gave the coffee another push, and because he was cold and to stave off any exhaustion he might get out of this encounter, Sasuke grudgingly accepted.
Suddenly, as Naruto opened up one of the books that was undoubtedly one of their designated sources, Sasuke was feeling guilty. He rolled his eyes and shoved himself back in his chair, hands digging for his own laptop. When he had it half pulled out, Naruto told him to not bother, that they could use his. Feeling that he’d been petty enough, Sasuke dropped his Acus back into his bag and pulled out instead a notebook and pen.
“So how do you want to split the work?” Sasuke asked, opening up to a fresh page. “I’ll do the body of it if you can write the beginning and conclusion.”
Naruto frowned for the very first time, at least as far as Sasuke had seen. It made him look older. “That doesn’t seem very fair.”
“Not a lot of people seem to mind.” Most especially Sasuke. The more work that was in his hands, the less chance there was of a bad grade.
But Naruto declined the offer fiercely. “No, we’ll work on it together.”
“Really, it’s no problem,” Sasuke pressed. Please, just let it go so there can be as little interaction as possible.
“No. We do it together.”
“I don’t have time in my schedule to be meeting you up all over campus,” Sasuke finally snapped.
“No duh, idiot, that’s why I suggested my room. We can stay there until late, no hassle. We’re in the same dorm building.”
I have no intention of seeing you when the sun goes down.
Sasuke sealed his lips shut and cast his mind around for a change of subject. He’d deal with the issue of a meeting place later. His eyes caught on the stack of books. “Are these the source materials?”
“Yeah!” Bad mood forgotten, Naruto pushed them closer to Sasuke for inspection. “I already checked these out, take a look. I figured that for the compare and contrast thingy we could use-what’s up?”
Sasuke had leaned slightly closer, looking slightly mesmerized. “What is that?”
“What’s that?”
Sasuke tapped his own cheek. “I think you have something on your face.”
“Oh, hah, these?” Naruto grinned and tilted his head. The combined movements caused a greater contrast of light on the blemishes upon his skin, his mouth wrinkling at the corners in a smile that caused six thin, paper thin scars to stand out on his skin. “Scars, dude.”
Sasuke shook his head, leaning back away. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have…”
“No, don’t worry about it. Got them in a car accident when I was a kid, I can hardly remember. You wanna get started with this one?”
Sasuke nodded. He believed Naruto’s explanation as well as he believed in the forced enthusiasm for the project. But it was really none of his business and conversation turned to the paper.
An hour and a half later, as Sasuke was packing away his things, Naruto stood in front of him. Cornered by the table and the arm of his chair, Sasuke arched an eyebrow. “What?”
Naruto cocked his head to the side, face a little serious and little amused. “You remember what I told you earlier, about the car accident?”
“Yeah.”
“That was a lie.”
Sasuke guessed as much. “It’s none of my business.”
“But I want you to know. Do you wanna know the truth?”
No. “I’ll pass. Move.”
But Naruto just leaned forward and if it weren’t for the table digging into his back, Sasuke would have backed away. Feeling suddenly uncomfortable and incredibly aware of every little nuisance around him, Sasuke swallowed and glared.
Quietly, Naruto declared in his ear, “I carved them myself.”
Three weeks-
“Well there’s me outsmarted.”
“Shut up, you pretentious bastard,” Naruto snarled, but jokingly shoved himself into Sasuke’s shoulder all the same. They were leaving Anderson Hall behind them and heading towards the library. Sasuke had a three-hour block between now and his next class, so they were hoping to finish the paper this morning. It needed only a few citations and a good proofreading. When Naruto suggested just running it through spell check, Sasuke had twitched and rather forcefully suggested he take over that role.
It was a warm day, probably one of the last before winter hit with all the brutal force of an unexpected summer storm. He was sweating slightly by the time they reached the library’s doors, but Naruto-
“What’re you wearing a sweater for, anyway?” Sasuke asked, eyeing the bright orange hoodie with mild distaste. “It must be ninety degrees out here.”
Naruto just shrugged and tugged on his sleeve. “Dunno. Just more comfortable, I guess. You wanna go to the second floor?”
Sasuke just shrugged, wiping his forearm across his forehead as he followed Naruto inside. This would be their fifth get-together for the project, quite an impressive feat considering how reluctant Sasuke had been to meet after the first afternoon. ( “I’m sorry, man, I was joking.” “I hardly see how that was funny.” “Shit, I’m sorry but really you should’ve seen your face, you looked like you were gonna piss yourself.” “Fuck off.” ) Since then their encounters had been mostly normal. Naruto still brought him coffee, they talked, and Sasuke found it the only stimulating conversation he could get out of any half-brained airhead on campus. But it might have been Sasuke’s great discomfort rather than Naruto’s personality itself. The uneasiness had only intensified over time, and Sasuke was forever on edge around him. Like he was waiting for a shock of electricity that was sure to come, although he had no clue when.
Later that night, Sasuke traveled to the bottom floor of the dorm building towards Naruto’s room, paper freshly printed. He’d told Naruto he’d be bringing it into class the next morning, but in an odd act of sociability, Sasuke decided to visit tonight. Maybe go get pizza, a sort of repayment for all the coffee. Sasuke didn’t feel like being alone much tonight, but more than that, he couldn’t stand the idea of going to bed at eight. He was tired enough to sleep, sure, but the idea made him feel prepubescent and Sasuke was determined to keep himself busy.
Naruto’s dorm room was the last in a line of five single rooms. Sasuke found this odd. He’d pegged Naruto as the popular type, maybe one to be living in the cramped five-person suite. Sasuke knocked on the door that was papered with crude stickers and small posters, waiting. There was no answer, but Sasuke thought he could hear the faint sound of music. He leaned in closer, brow furrowing. He knocked again. “Naruto?”
When there was still no answer, Sasuke tried to doorknob and found it to be unlocked. He opened the door, sliding into the room and looking around. And there was Naruto, sitting cross-legged on the floor. He had a stupid, silly-looking smile on his face, over-large headphones clipped over his ears, and blood upon the floor.
Naruto looked up as if he’d heard his name called, although Sasuke found his throat too constricted to utter a single syllable. His eyes grew to the size of dinner plates-which Sasuke considered only fair, since his heart had grown the size of his head-but the blade didn’t fall from his fingers. “Fuck! Sasuke, what’re you-I thought I locked the door…”
Sasuke mouthed opened noiselessly. Despite the strangeness, Naruto had always seemed so normal, so cheerful. And all along, this…? “What are you doing?”
Naruto didn’t avert his eyes. Indeed, he looked more like he’d been caught cheating off of someone’s tests instead of cutting ribbons into his skin. “Sasuke…”
“What the hell are you doing, you moron!?” Sasuke screeched with his newfound voice, stumbling in through the doorway but not going any further.
Naruto frowned, then smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. The blood turned his hair a deep russet orange. “Bloodletting,” he admitted finally.
“Blood… what?” Sasuke breathed, heart thundering. He felt sick, dizzy. He’d never seen so much blood outside of a horror film, had never imagined so much could fit into a human body.
“God, you’re such a dork sometimes. Didn’t you ever pay attention in history class? Bloodletting is-‘
“I know what it is, ” Sasuke practically moaned, close to collapsing. His knees shook, but he forced himself to walk forward, swallowing and wishing, selfishly, that he wasn’t here. “For… for fever, right? For fuck’s sake Naruto, take a Tylenol…” Sasuke put his hand around Naruto’s forearm and realized three things. The first was that he was touching blood, real, warm and wet. The second was that Naruto was still holding a knife, and the third was that the look he was given did not come from Naruto, nor from anything remotely human.
Quietly, he ordered, “Take your hands off of me.”
But Sasuke couldn’t, hand melded there with the blood and feeling like stone and very much trapped. Naruto’s eyes hooked him in.
“Let go of the knife,” Sasuke demanded.
Naruto did, and grabbed Sasuke instead.
Sasuke stumbled forward, the knees of his jeans instantly soaking through and he knew, instinctively knew that even his skin would be soaked through. Naruto leaned into him grinning with a smile Sasuke had never dreamt he’d be able to witness upon a human being.
Naruto whispered hotly into his ear, grinning and grinning and it would haunt Sasuke for the rest of his life. And when the words wilted and died, Naruto bit.
Sasuke stumbled backwards and practically crawled on all fours out the door, crashing back through the door with one hand over his ear, crimson dripping through his fingers and stabbing pain reaching even his toes.
It was lucky Sasuke ran into no one on his way back to his own dorm. He felt as if his blood was made of pure caffeine and heroine, everything awake and alive like he’d slept a century. But Sasuke never had time to lock the door, nor fall into bed. He fainted into a dead sleep on the floor and slept through classes until noon the next day.
Three weeks-
There were bags under Sasuke’s eyes.
One month-
Naruto never looked his way, but Sasuke could feel his presence there and alive. Sitting behind him was like hovering near an electric fence. The class became the only way to stay awake, to stay alive, and the rest of the day’s hours bled into a disappointing monotone. His professors worried-this wasn’t his best, it wasn’t even his work, what’s going on, what’s wrong with you-and Sasuke wanted to care. He did. But he was too tired and diseased to, infected by brief glimpses of Naruto’s presence.
“There’s a demon inside me, Sasuke.”
Sasuke sat slumped in a library chair, the wood straight-backed and placed in the noisiest section of the library that allowed group work. Sasuke hated distraction while studying, but now he craved it. Anything that picked at his mind, made him focus. He forget the dates of tests, just read everything and tried to retain information and hoped it was enough.
Naruto words drug him under again and again and Sasuke drowned in it. People were staring at him, but the feeling of it was nothing compared to the fact that Naruto no longer did.
Sasuke wanted to claw his ears off. He ran his fingers over his ear, feeling the scabs that still remained. Sasuke knew that there would be a fresh pink scar when they finally finished falling off. Naruto had bitten with all the strength of a beast and Sasuke considered himself lucky he hadn’t just tore it off.
But the scars would fade, his bangs would hide them, his future wife might ask about it but he’d brush over it. Scars faded.
“And there’s one inside you, too.”
But words didn’t. Sasuke slumped forward, trying and failing to not fall asleep.
Six weeks-
Sasuke couldn’t control himself. Only the thought of Naruto, the smell of his strength and the apprehensiveness that came with it, the craving and the longing. He felt horrid, he looked worse, and even his most fervent of admirers turned their noses these days.
He didn’t knock, only slumped on the door like so much dead weight and nearly cried. Inside, a small part of him twisted and wailed in the overwhelming exhausting, wanting to move without the millions tons of wet sands piling around his feet. Wanted to blink without feeling like it would be his last one before they closed for hours. Wanted to wake up to his alarm clock instead of his neighbors slamming their fists on the doors demanding for Sasuke to turn it off.
Naruto opened the door and caught him as he fell, grinning and greeting him like Sasuke hadn’t fainted like a woman in his arms. Sasuke felt Naruto’s fingertips brushed his skin and he sighed softly, blinked freely, and scowled.
Seven weeks-
“My aunt explained it all to me when I was a kid,” Naruto told him.
“Shut up,” Sasuke ordered, not wanting to hear it. He had his head on Naruto’s shoulder and an arm swung over his own, soaking up the heat and the crisp Autumn air. Students eyes them with mixed looks of embarrassment and disgust, but Sasuke could hardly care. He fingers Naruto’s sleeve, feeling the gauze under his fingertips.
But Naruto wasn’t shutting up. “It killed a few people. Some foster parents, some strangers, till my Aunt took me in. She started bloodletting me and, man, hah, I was scared shitless at first. But I got used to it eventually.”
“What do you mean ‘it’?” Sasuke muttered, sipping at his coffee.
“It, the demon. You remember? Pay attention, bastard. Anyway, she always told me that if I just bloodlet one a month or so I’d be fine, but that if I found another demon like mine, I’d be cool. Right? That’s why I liked you so much. I’ve been dreaming of you-well, the thing inside you, I guess, heh-for, like, ages. You were always sleeping in my dreams and I was always just watching, waiting for you to wake up. And when I met you, for the first time, damn I flipped shit. ”
“I remember,” Sasuke said dryly.
“Yeah, I know, shut up. Anyway, I got really ticked, ‘cause I thought it wasn’t you, the one who was in my dreams and I felt kinda cheated, I dunno. Cause you were all awake and I never saw you wake up. But that night I saw you wake up in my dreams. And then they kinda-changed.”
“Your dreams changed?”
“Erm, yeah.” Sasuke didn’t look up to see the blush, since Naruto was giving him the courtesy of not looking at his.
“You know,” Sasuke muttered, “that I don’t believe a word of this.”
Sasuke felt Naruto shrug his shoulders under his head. “Then why are you still here?”
Because you keep me awake. “To make sure you don’t kill yourself like the retard you are.”
Naruto chuckled, a little darkly. “Whatever you say, Sasuke.”
Three months-
After spending an hour in the waiting room, and then maybe ten minutes having a shallow discussion about his symptoms, the doctor recommended to Sasuke a sleeping drug. Sasuke shook his head-“I have no problem falling asleep, it’s staying awake.” But the doctor has shook his head, scribbled something illegible onto a notepad, and pressed the prescription into Sasuke’s reluctant hand. “Try it for a week. If it doesn’t work, come back and we’ll run some tests.”
Sasuke walked out of the hospital and into the cold afternoon. He’d taken the bus here, but there was Naruto-always, forever there-with a cup of coffee and a warm, waiting car. Sasuke shook his head, took the offered cup, and as they went to his car Sasuke threw the prescription into the trash can.
Four months-
“What are you-fuck, Naruto!” Bandages, he heeded bandages. Sasuke tore off his own shirt and pressed it frantically to Naruto’s arms.
“It won’t leave me alone,” and now Sasuke believed him, “it won’t stop. I want to tear you apart. Leave, please, let me-“
“You moron, just take it! Just take--¬” Sasuke could bring himself to say ‘me’. “Just do it, I don’t care,” except that he did, that he wanted it too but was too afraid of what he’d be in the morning. Addicted to the point of going comatose when Naruto left, or free, or just still the God damn same.
“Don’t say that,” Naruto sobbed, but he was biting Sasuke’s neck and running bloody palms under Sasuke’s shirt. Sasuke nearly gagged, so much blood.
“You cut too deep, you fucking dip-ah, ahh!” Sasuke fell on his back and Naruto pressed down above him, growling and tearing his clothes. Sasuke struggled to tie his shirt around Naruto’s wrists, but that just served him to have his arms pinned above his hands. Naruto ground down hard enough to leave bruises on both their hips, attempting to tear through their pants just by rubbing hard enough. Sasuke cursed and spluttered. Naruto dug his way between his thighs and Sasuke kissed him with nothing but teeth, kissing the demon inside of him.
Sasuke passes the time by thinking about inane things, like the smells and how many stars you can see tonight. He grips Naruto’s hair and wonders how it got to soft. Naruto is groaning into his skin wetly and Sasuke wants to bleed them both try and wonders if Naruto is okay, how he isn’t dizzy.
Everything felt like fire and slick, unforgiving ice. All at once, none at all, Naruto surging into him and then into his brain, taking everything there is and everything Sasuke didn’t have to give.
Sasuke grips hard with his own legs and wants Naruto, wants Naruto, not this torn and broken version of him but if this is the price he has to pay than Sasuke is willing to cough up. He plays dead on the floor, hips arching rhythmically until Naruto takes over that too, nails biting bloody crescents into the skin as Naruto’s demon moves them as he likes.
They rock together on the floor until Sasuke could bleed the demon out of his eyes.
Nine months-
Sasuke found his apartment a week after the Spring semester came to a close. During their many trysts, clothes had ended up in the wrong places so Sasuke ended up with a few of Naruto’s hooded jackets in his arsenal. He hadn’t washed them, the smell of Naruto lingering and pungent. He wore the darkest of them now-a plain navy one with no zipper and a large pocket, bright yellow string laced through the hood-and took deep breaths as he focused on his driving.
Sasuke walked up the stairs slowly, counting the steps. His fingertips shook, and he wondered if this was the rest of the life. Going to Naruto like an addict to a crack dealer. Pathetic. Sasuke attempted to walk straighter and he swore, just swore that the first thing he did when he saw Naruto was going to be to reconfigure his jaw.
But that wasn’t quite how it panned out. The moment Naruto opened up the door with a smile that was all too knowing, Sasuke shoved him back until his face slammed into the wall. Sasuke kicked the door shut and breathed hotly into Naruto’s neck. “What have you done to me?” Sasuke demanded, shaking him violently by the shoulders. “What the fuck did you do, Naruto!?”
“It isn’t what I did.” Naruto sounded remarkably calm for someone who was undoubtedly have their lungs crushed in their chest. “It’s not my fault.”
“It is!” Sasuke buried his face in Naruto’s neck and felt awake and alive and angry. Sasuke could hear The Little Mermaid playing on the TV screen at an obnoxious volume, but he was too hysterical in a crimson panic to switch it off. Panting, Sasuke licked the skin of Naruto’s neck before biting hard enough to taste blood. It was liquid copper, tasting sweet and fresh and something Sasuke craved so he bit harder. Naruto whimpered, Sasuke pressed against him with different intentions now. He sucked at his neck like some sort of vampire, wanting and wanting and never getting enough.
The demon inside him howled and Sasuke was lost to lust and full awareness.
Ten months-
Eventually, Naruto kicked him out. You’ve been gone for a week, Naruto scolded, I’m sure your brother’s worried, just go stay for a few days and then come back.
It took days of convincing before Naruto pushed and shoved Sasuke from his apartment. Sasuke snarled when Naruto went in for a hug, shouldering past him to the door.
“And what, exactly, do I do,” Sasuke snarled, “when the exhaustion hits again?”
“How d’you expect me to know?”
“You’re the one who’s always spewing all this demon crap at me left and right!”
“So you finally believe me then?” Naruto cut in, smirking. “Took you long enough.”
Sasuke hissed, “Just tell me what to do!” Just a few hours with Naruto’s presence did Sasuke in. A day’s company meant a a day’s Hell. What would a solid month of solid Naruto do to him?
“God, you never listen to anything I say.” Frustrated, Naruto left the room. For a moment Sasuke feared that that was it, that was the end. Had Sasuke resisted the good-bye hard? Had Naruto given up so freely?
But Naruto came back a moment later with a plastic shopping back and something swaddled in a thick dish towel. He shoved it into Sasuke’s chest.
Blinking, Sasuke was just about to open it when Naruto stopped him. “No, wait, open it at home, ‘kay? It’s a special remedy, it’ll keep you from getting too sleepy until I see you next.”
Sasuke snorted but looped the bag over his wrist to dangle. It held some weight. Some sort of herb?
“Do you get like this too?” Sasuke asked. “When I’m not around?”
Naruto snorted. “You know how I get.” Vengeful, conceited, monsterous, red red red. “Being around you helps a lot but… you know my other methods.” Naruto grinned.
Sasuke rolled his eyes and muttered, “Whatever.”
“Call when you get home?”
“If I remember.” He would. “I’ll be back on Sunday with my things.”
“Sounds good! Hey, wait, where are you-c’mere, give me a kiss good-bye you frigid dick.”
“The fuck do I look like, dead last, some smitten woman?”
“Yes? Ouch. Ouch, okay, stop, c’mere and lemme kiss you now.”
Sasuke’s shoulder rammed Naruto’s chin before the finally got one in. Sasuke bit his lip for it and when Naruto pouted he kissed him for real. Soaking up the last-minute energy, drawing in Naruto’s taste and hoping it would linger.
Naruto hung out the door to watch Sasuke leave, then peered out the window when Sasuke peeled from the parking lot.
Sasuke drove straight home without stopping. They lived four hours apart, and within the first hour Sasuke knew he’d better cut the time down to three if he hoped to make it back alive.
When Sasuke arrived home, Itachi’s car wasn’t in the driveway. Sasuke trudged upstairs to his bedroom, collapsing with his duffel bag at his side. Sasuke breathed slowly and calmly, trying very hard to get used to the feeling. Everything was heavy and troublesome here, like trying to exist in a world submerged in molasses.
Briefly, his eyes strayed to the bag Naruto had given him, ‘THANK YOU’ printed three times in a row in thick red print. After a minute, Sasuke summoned up the will to pull it to him. Things became dreadfully complicated upon opening the bag, getting through the plastic taking an overbearing amount of energy. But once Sasuke was in, the towel fell from his prize easily.
Sasuke stared at it for what must have been the rest of the afternoon, not sleeping, only existing in the moment. Waiting for someone to walk in and tell him not to do it. He remembered seeing Naruto the first time, the fiery explosion of pain and reawakening that left Sasuke crumbled and trembling in its wake. The overwhelming uselessness of existing in the world without his partner, half of his spirit gone and forever leaving Sasuke to crumble in on himself without Naruto’s presence. A sickening sort of dependence with which Naruto also clung to him.
But then again, Naruto had learned to control it.
Sasuke curled into a ball and pressed his face to his knees, brief flutters of fear flapping in his chest like a hummingbird’s wings. Eventually he gathered the courage to look at it again and realized that one should never fear pain. Only the empty darkness behind his eyelids and the grumbling beast entrenched deeply in his veins.
It was serrated with a comfort grip rubber handle. Sasuke fingered it and slowly sat up, breath fluttering out of him quickly. He turned his other hand over in his lap and stared at his pale skin. He remembered how Naruto had kissed the bruises under his eyes and that, within a few days, they’d faded like old scars. Sasuke blinked, not wanting them to return.
Slowly and carefully, like an artist making his first brushstroke on a canvas, Sasuke trailed the knife down his bare skin softly. It made a faint pink line that itched and puckered, but did not bleed.
Exhaustion bled through his veins. Sasuke pressed harder and hissed at the first peak of blood and flesh. He shivered not with cold, nor pain, but a sudden lightheadedness that ballooned into adrenaline. Sasuke shook and sat up straighter, staring down at pain and wakefulness.
Sasuke once again brought up the knife, sliding thick silver into his yielding skin and bloodletting the demon out and onto the bedspread.
Title: Bloodletting
Rating: R
Summary: Sasuke couldn’t keep himself awake, the back of his eyelids dashed heavily with crimson. Until Naruto grinned at him and talked of demons, of blood, and would he like some coffee?
Warnings: Gore, sex, self-abuse, AU
A/N: Your prompt was both challenging and intimidating. I couldn’t tell what you wanted more, humor or psychological horror, so I went with what I thought I could do better. Don’t let the self-abuse warning worry you, it’s probably not what you’re thinking. That being said, I hope that you like it!
Mod note: Reminder for the author/artist of this submission, please do not reply to comments signed in, if you want to reply anon commenting is enabled.
One hour-
Sasuke had a strange feeling about Naruto Uzumaki, even before he’d ‘tripped’ over his ankle and his face landed in Naruto’s fist. But Sasuke had strange feelings about a lot of people, and he’d learned to stay away from them. Crazy people, dark people, entities hovering in his peripheral that would pose no harm to him if Sasuke would leave them alone. He’d lived twenty years of his life like that, and through trial and error he found his way of going about things stable and secure. Safe.
But Naruto, he couldn’t ignore. And out of all the ‘strangers’ Sasuke had met, he realized later that, in hindsight, this was the one he should have kept the greatest distance between.
One day-
Sasuke rolled out of the bed that morning to a sopping wet pillow. Yelping, he jolted up in bed only to find that he’d fallen asleep on the ice pack he’d had pressed to his face the night before.
Grimacing, he flicked the deflated plastic bag to the floor, through the pillow in the general direction of his collapsible laundry basket, and swung his legs over the bed. He winced at the cold. His dorm building was one of the newer ones so it ran off of central air, which meant vents at the ceiling instead of the floor. Coincidentally, this equated to a semester of cold feet, even in the warmer months.
Sasuke stood and stretched his over-taxed muscles. There was a half bottle of muscle relaxers in his dresser left over from the torn rotator cuff he’d suffered last Spring, but he was lethargic enough this morning to even face the possibility of going to his classes on legs like over-mixed jello. He’d worn a pair of boxers and a band t-shirt to bed. He tugged on a pair of jeans flung casually over the drawer, slipped on his Converse and felt along his rear for his wallet and dorm key. Finding nothing but flesh, Sasuke spotted the items on his dresser. He fumbled for them, realized he was too tired even to slip in his contacts, to brush his hair or his teeth, Sasuke stumbled from the dorm room and was tired.
Sasuke somehow found his way to Anderson Hall without mishap and slipped into Ancient Greek like a shadow, slinking along the wall to the back room and practically falling into his chair. Groaning, he rubbed his palms over his eyes and wished the day were over already. His whole body ached with every bruise like it went farther then his skin, to the very bone. Sasuke felt cold, suddenly, and eyed the hoodies and jackets hanging from his classmates’ chairs with great envy. God, he was exhausted. Just one of those days, and if it weren’t for the fact that this was the first day of the new term he’d have skipped.
The professor walked in then, a helmet tucked under one arm. He nodded loosely towards his class. There was a general shuffle as they righted themselves, pushed their phones to the corner of the desk, and prepared to pay attention for the first ten minutes before drifting again. The professor wasted no time in passing out the syllabus and Sasuke rolled his eyes. He could’ve printed this out on the school site. He’d gotten up at eight in the morning for this?
Deep in his dramatized misery, Sasuke had failed to notice who had taken the desk in front of him. But when Naruto turned to hand him the environmental-friendly double-side printed syllabus, Sasuke felt as if someone had plugged him in to charge. Every fiber of his being was suddenly alight with bright anger, confusion, and a total awareness that left Sasuke feeling a little less than human.
Naruto grinned at him, dropped the waste of paper on Sasuke’s desk, and turned back around as if he hadn’t witnessed a non-verbal death threat. Sasuke seethed, and instead of paying attention spent the rest of the class thinking of an appropriate comeback to the impromptu brawl Naruto had started in the courtyard the day before. But when the professor dismissed them four minutes past ending time and Sasuke stuffed the syllabus into his satchel, Naruto had disappeared.
Two days-
Sasuke sat dozing in the common area, feet kicked up on the coffee table and a book propped open on his lap. He fiddled with the lid over top his empty coffee cup. He downed it in hopes of sucking up every drop of cheap caffeine to use as energy. He’d been drained since the weekend, and although he slept like a rock from the moment his head hit the pillow to the moment the alarm woke him up in the morning, it didn’t seem to be enough.
“Here.”
Sasuke started. Someone had taken his empty cup and replaced it with a taller one, a fuller one if the steam billowing from the lid was any indication. Sasuke glanced up and would have chucked the cup in his face had he not been so glad for the drink.
“The fuck do you want?” Sasuke snarled, not touching the coffee.
Naruto grinned, collapsing into the chair opposite Sasuke as if he’d been invited to do so. “I just wanted to apologize for the other day, over the weekend. It was my bad, I thought you were someone else.”
Sasuke didn’t buy it for a second. “You were punching pretty hard. Seemed like you knew damn well who I was.”
“Hey, you weren’t exactly pulling any punches yourself.” Naruto rubbed at his side, faking a comical grimace and making Sasuke roll his eyes and snap his book shut. “Hey-“
“I don’t have the time for your stupid bull shit,” Sasuke snapped. “Take your coffee. I don’t want it.”
“Sure you do,” Naruto said easily, leaning forward and resting with his elbows on his knees. “You look dead beat.”
“I’m not.” Sasuke was shocked at the realization that this part was actually true. He was wide awake now that he was standing with his legs stretched. “So you can go fuck off.”
“Yeah,” Naruto grinned, reclining back and kicking his feet up. “And to you, too.”
Sasuke snorted and made his way to his single dorm room. By the time he reached the door, his feet were dragging. Textbook falling from lax fingers, Sasuke collapsed onto bed fully clothed and did not move till morning.
One week-
Sasuke had a strange feeling that Monday morning when he woke up. He used that term loosely, as it was more of a slow crawl from his bed to the classroom.
The strange feeling only intensified as Naruto took his seat in front of him and then, amazingly enough, startled babbling at him like they were close friends. About how cold it was, wasn’t it still summer really? And here was his coffee, he liked it black, didn’t he? Why did Sasuke drink it like that, at least put a packet of sugar in it you bitter prick. Sasuke, for his part, was stunned into silence. His eyes scanned the room quickly to see if anyone else noticed something mind-falteringly amiss, but they were in fact giving Sasuke the weird looks, because he wasn’t talking back. Sasuke took a swallow of the free coffee just to give himself an excuse for something to do and to soothe his suddenly frazzled nerves.
Sasuke took advantage of the professor spending the first ten minutes of class lecturing listlessly. He stared hard into the back of Naruto’s head. He had bright blond hair, messy like he’d also just rolled out of blood. His shoulders were broader than Sasuke’s, but he looked to be an inch or two shorter when he stood. Blue blazer, light gray jeans. An average college student he’d traded more fists with than words in just a short week, and yet by all outward appearances he looked quite normal.
“You’ll be assigned a partner and use five of these ten listed sources…” Clattering of chalk against the board. Sasuke pretended he could hear the clock on the wall ticking just to help pass the time. The very air held in it an underlying threat that Sasuke could not understand. He perked up at his name, and then glanced to his left as he heard, “Ashton Chang.” A boy with a squinted face and dark hair waved at him, and Sasuke nodded back in acknowledgement.
At the end of class, Sasuke was hastily scribbling down the names of the sources in his planner as he stood up. Naruto hadn’t looked back at him once all class, and when Sasuke straightened himself it was to find the blond man absent. Shrugging his jacket on, Sasuke strolled from the room. Ashton was nowhere to be seen, causing Sasuke to frown. He liked to have assignments done as fast as possible. Waiting around made him antsy. Unnerved, Sasuke made his way towards the canteen for a quick bite of breakfast before Bio lab, figuring he’d catch Ashton on Wednesday.
But as it turned out, Sasuke didn’t have to wait that long. On his way back from lab, smelling faintly of ammonia and heavily of annoyance, Ashton caught up with him. His hair was in disarray, face flushed brightly.
“Hey,” Sasuke said, quirking an eyebrow. “Ashton, right?”
“Yeah. And you’re Sasuke?” It was more of a statement then a question. Without waiting for an answer, Ashton dug into his pocket for a crumbled up flash card. “Hey man, listen. I talked to the professor and he said he was cool with it as long as you were, you know, okay with it and all.” Ashton waved the card too fast for Sasuke to see. “Look, my partner and I… well. Anyway, this guy’s partner’s actually my roommate, right? So he said it was cool if we traded and all, it’d just be so much easier and shit and this guy said he knew you and that you guys were cool. So what d’you think?” This was all said rather quickly, and Sasuke just blinked at him.
“Sure,” Sasuke muttered, shrugging. He didn’t care. He’d do his point, mail it to the dolt he was partnered with, and be done with it. This was why Sasuke hated core classes so much. None of his real courses bothered with group work. It was get it done or fail. Sasuke liked that, worked well with it too.
“Great! Awesome, thanks so much. You sure you’re cool? Great,” he repeated, not giving Sasuke time to rethink it. “Look, I got his info and stuff for you and everything, yeah? Yeah, so, here,” he shoved it into Sasuke hand face-down. “I appreciate it man, really do. Good luck with your project, I owe you one! Shit, man, late for class. I really owe you!” Ashton slapped Sasuke once on the shoulder and jogged off before he had time to get another word in.
Shaking his head and inwardly thinking that anyone would be better than working with that waste of space, Sasuke flipped the index card over to read the contact information. A second or so later, the world constricted around him and his hatred of core classes intensified unbearably.
Goddamn Naruto…
Eight days-
Sasuke didn’t know how, nor was he sure he wanted to know how, but Naruto had managed to procure his phone number and had sent him a text requesting to meet for their research project that evening in his dorm room. Sasuke had texted back saying he’d meet in the library, and just because he was bitter Sasuke showed up twenty minutes past the designated meeting time.
But Naruto was all smiles when Sasuke arrived. He had his laptop set up, books in a neat pile, and a cardboard carrier in which sat two paper cups of what was presumably coffee.
“Man, and here I thought I was going to be late,” Naruto laughed, eyes gleaming with a wicked tint as if he could read Sasuke’s thoughts like a neon sign. “I just got here a few minutes ago, lecture ran over. Don’t you hate it when professors pull shit like that?”
Sasuke just grit his teeth and slammed his book bag down by his feet.
“Here, I brought you a coffee,” Naruto said needlessly, pushing the beverage at him.
“Why do you keep doing that?” Sasuke snapped, sitting down with great reluctance. “It’s weird.”
Naruto shrugged. “It’s sort of an ongoing apology, for starting that fight, you know.”
Sasuke snorted. “Yeah, how could I forget?”
“Look, man, there are a lot of people who look like you crawling around. Some douche stole my girlfriend my first freshman semester and I thought you were him. I’m sorry, I overreacted. Can’t you just drop it and accept the apology?” He gave the coffee another push, and because he was cold and to stave off any exhaustion he might get out of this encounter, Sasuke grudgingly accepted.
Suddenly, as Naruto opened up one of the books that was undoubtedly one of their designated sources, Sasuke was feeling guilty. He rolled his eyes and shoved himself back in his chair, hands digging for his own laptop. When he had it half pulled out, Naruto told him to not bother, that they could use his. Feeling that he’d been petty enough, Sasuke dropped his Acus back into his bag and pulled out instead a notebook and pen.
“So how do you want to split the work?” Sasuke asked, opening up to a fresh page. “I’ll do the body of it if you can write the beginning and conclusion.”
Naruto frowned for the very first time, at least as far as Sasuke had seen. It made him look older. “That doesn’t seem very fair.”
“Not a lot of people seem to mind.” Most especially Sasuke. The more work that was in his hands, the less chance there was of a bad grade.
But Naruto declined the offer fiercely. “No, we’ll work on it together.”
“Really, it’s no problem,” Sasuke pressed. Please, just let it go so there can be as little interaction as possible.
“No. We do it together.”
“I don’t have time in my schedule to be meeting you up all over campus,” Sasuke finally snapped.
“No duh, idiot, that’s why I suggested my room. We can stay there until late, no hassle. We’re in the same dorm building.”
I have no intention of seeing you when the sun goes down.
Sasuke sealed his lips shut and cast his mind around for a change of subject. He’d deal with the issue of a meeting place later. His eyes caught on the stack of books. “Are these the source materials?”
“Yeah!” Bad mood forgotten, Naruto pushed them closer to Sasuke for inspection. “I already checked these out, take a look. I figured that for the compare and contrast thingy we could use-what’s up?”
Sasuke had leaned slightly closer, looking slightly mesmerized. “What is that?”
“What’s that?”
Sasuke tapped his own cheek. “I think you have something on your face.”
“Oh, hah, these?” Naruto grinned and tilted his head. The combined movements caused a greater contrast of light on the blemishes upon his skin, his mouth wrinkling at the corners in a smile that caused six thin, paper thin scars to stand out on his skin. “Scars, dude.”
Sasuke shook his head, leaning back away. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have…”
“No, don’t worry about it. Got them in a car accident when I was a kid, I can hardly remember. You wanna get started with this one?”
Sasuke nodded. He believed Naruto’s explanation as well as he believed in the forced enthusiasm for the project. But it was really none of his business and conversation turned to the paper.
An hour and a half later, as Sasuke was packing away his things, Naruto stood in front of him. Cornered by the table and the arm of his chair, Sasuke arched an eyebrow. “What?”
Naruto cocked his head to the side, face a little serious and little amused. “You remember what I told you earlier, about the car accident?”
“Yeah.”
“That was a lie.”
Sasuke guessed as much. “It’s none of my business.”
“But I want you to know. Do you wanna know the truth?”
No. “I’ll pass. Move.”
But Naruto just leaned forward and if it weren’t for the table digging into his back, Sasuke would have backed away. Feeling suddenly uncomfortable and incredibly aware of every little nuisance around him, Sasuke swallowed and glared.
Quietly, Naruto declared in his ear, “I carved them myself.”
Three weeks-
“Well there’s me outsmarted.”
“Shut up, you pretentious bastard,” Naruto snarled, but jokingly shoved himself into Sasuke’s shoulder all the same. They were leaving Anderson Hall behind them and heading towards the library. Sasuke had a three-hour block between now and his next class, so they were hoping to finish the paper this morning. It needed only a few citations and a good proofreading. When Naruto suggested just running it through spell check, Sasuke had twitched and rather forcefully suggested he take over that role.
It was a warm day, probably one of the last before winter hit with all the brutal force of an unexpected summer storm. He was sweating slightly by the time they reached the library’s doors, but Naruto-
“What’re you wearing a sweater for, anyway?” Sasuke asked, eyeing the bright orange hoodie with mild distaste. “It must be ninety degrees out here.”
Naruto just shrugged and tugged on his sleeve. “Dunno. Just more comfortable, I guess. You wanna go to the second floor?”
Sasuke just shrugged, wiping his forearm across his forehead as he followed Naruto inside. This would be their fifth get-together for the project, quite an impressive feat considering how reluctant Sasuke had been to meet after the first afternoon. ( “I’m sorry, man, I was joking.” “I hardly see how that was funny.” “Shit, I’m sorry but really you should’ve seen your face, you looked like you were gonna piss yourself.” “Fuck off.” ) Since then their encounters had been mostly normal. Naruto still brought him coffee, they talked, and Sasuke found it the only stimulating conversation he could get out of any half-brained airhead on campus. But it might have been Sasuke’s great discomfort rather than Naruto’s personality itself. The uneasiness had only intensified over time, and Sasuke was forever on edge around him. Like he was waiting for a shock of electricity that was sure to come, although he had no clue when.
Later that night, Sasuke traveled to the bottom floor of the dorm building towards Naruto’s room, paper freshly printed. He’d told Naruto he’d be bringing it into class the next morning, but in an odd act of sociability, Sasuke decided to visit tonight. Maybe go get pizza, a sort of repayment for all the coffee. Sasuke didn’t feel like being alone much tonight, but more than that, he couldn’t stand the idea of going to bed at eight. He was tired enough to sleep, sure, but the idea made him feel prepubescent and Sasuke was determined to keep himself busy.
Naruto’s dorm room was the last in a line of five single rooms. Sasuke found this odd. He’d pegged Naruto as the popular type, maybe one to be living in the cramped five-person suite. Sasuke knocked on the door that was papered with crude stickers and small posters, waiting. There was no answer, but Sasuke thought he could hear the faint sound of music. He leaned in closer, brow furrowing. He knocked again. “Naruto?”
When there was still no answer, Sasuke tried to doorknob and found it to be unlocked. He opened the door, sliding into the room and looking around. And there was Naruto, sitting cross-legged on the floor. He had a stupid, silly-looking smile on his face, over-large headphones clipped over his ears, and blood upon the floor.
Naruto looked up as if he’d heard his name called, although Sasuke found his throat too constricted to utter a single syllable. His eyes grew to the size of dinner plates-which Sasuke considered only fair, since his heart had grown the size of his head-but the blade didn’t fall from his fingers. “Fuck! Sasuke, what’re you-I thought I locked the door…”
Sasuke mouthed opened noiselessly. Despite the strangeness, Naruto had always seemed so normal, so cheerful. And all along, this…? “What are you doing?”
Naruto didn’t avert his eyes. Indeed, he looked more like he’d been caught cheating off of someone’s tests instead of cutting ribbons into his skin. “Sasuke…”
“What the hell are you doing, you moron!?” Sasuke screeched with his newfound voice, stumbling in through the doorway but not going any further.
Naruto frowned, then smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. The blood turned his hair a deep russet orange. “Bloodletting,” he admitted finally.
“Blood… what?” Sasuke breathed, heart thundering. He felt sick, dizzy. He’d never seen so much blood outside of a horror film, had never imagined so much could fit into a human body.
“God, you’re such a dork sometimes. Didn’t you ever pay attention in history class? Bloodletting is-‘
“I know what it is, ” Sasuke practically moaned, close to collapsing. His knees shook, but he forced himself to walk forward, swallowing and wishing, selfishly, that he wasn’t here. “For… for fever, right? For fuck’s sake Naruto, take a Tylenol…” Sasuke put his hand around Naruto’s forearm and realized three things. The first was that he was touching blood, real, warm and wet. The second was that Naruto was still holding a knife, and the third was that the look he was given did not come from Naruto, nor from anything remotely human.
Quietly, he ordered, “Take your hands off of me.”
But Sasuke couldn’t, hand melded there with the blood and feeling like stone and very much trapped. Naruto’s eyes hooked him in.
“Let go of the knife,” Sasuke demanded.
Naruto did, and grabbed Sasuke instead.
Sasuke stumbled forward, the knees of his jeans instantly soaking through and he knew, instinctively knew that even his skin would be soaked through. Naruto leaned into him grinning with a smile Sasuke had never dreamt he’d be able to witness upon a human being.
Naruto whispered hotly into his ear, grinning and grinning and it would haunt Sasuke for the rest of his life. And when the words wilted and died, Naruto bit.
Sasuke stumbled backwards and practically crawled on all fours out the door, crashing back through the door with one hand over his ear, crimson dripping through his fingers and stabbing pain reaching even his toes.
It was lucky Sasuke ran into no one on his way back to his own dorm. He felt as if his blood was made of pure caffeine and heroine, everything awake and alive like he’d slept a century. But Sasuke never had time to lock the door, nor fall into bed. He fainted into a dead sleep on the floor and slept through classes until noon the next day.
Three weeks-
There were bags under Sasuke’s eyes.
One month-
Naruto never looked his way, but Sasuke could feel his presence there and alive. Sitting behind him was like hovering near an electric fence. The class became the only way to stay awake, to stay alive, and the rest of the day’s hours bled into a disappointing monotone. His professors worried-this wasn’t his best, it wasn’t even his work, what’s going on, what’s wrong with you-and Sasuke wanted to care. He did. But he was too tired and diseased to, infected by brief glimpses of Naruto’s presence.
“There’s a demon inside me, Sasuke.”
Sasuke sat slumped in a library chair, the wood straight-backed and placed in the noisiest section of the library that allowed group work. Sasuke hated distraction while studying, but now he craved it. Anything that picked at his mind, made him focus. He forget the dates of tests, just read everything and tried to retain information and hoped it was enough.
Naruto words drug him under again and again and Sasuke drowned in it. People were staring at him, but the feeling of it was nothing compared to the fact that Naruto no longer did.
Sasuke wanted to claw his ears off. He ran his fingers over his ear, feeling the scabs that still remained. Sasuke knew that there would be a fresh pink scar when they finally finished falling off. Naruto had bitten with all the strength of a beast and Sasuke considered himself lucky he hadn’t just tore it off.
But the scars would fade, his bangs would hide them, his future wife might ask about it but he’d brush over it. Scars faded.
“And there’s one inside you, too.”
But words didn’t. Sasuke slumped forward, trying and failing to not fall asleep.
Six weeks-
Sasuke couldn’t control himself. Only the thought of Naruto, the smell of his strength and the apprehensiveness that came with it, the craving and the longing. He felt horrid, he looked worse, and even his most fervent of admirers turned their noses these days.
He didn’t knock, only slumped on the door like so much dead weight and nearly cried. Inside, a small part of him twisted and wailed in the overwhelming exhausting, wanting to move without the millions tons of wet sands piling around his feet. Wanted to blink without feeling like it would be his last one before they closed for hours. Wanted to wake up to his alarm clock instead of his neighbors slamming their fists on the doors demanding for Sasuke to turn it off.
Naruto opened the door and caught him as he fell, grinning and greeting him like Sasuke hadn’t fainted like a woman in his arms. Sasuke felt Naruto’s fingertips brushed his skin and he sighed softly, blinked freely, and scowled.
Seven weeks-
“My aunt explained it all to me when I was a kid,” Naruto told him.
“Shut up,” Sasuke ordered, not wanting to hear it. He had his head on Naruto’s shoulder and an arm swung over his own, soaking up the heat and the crisp Autumn air. Students eyes them with mixed looks of embarrassment and disgust, but Sasuke could hardly care. He fingers Naruto’s sleeve, feeling the gauze under his fingertips.
But Naruto wasn’t shutting up. “It killed a few people. Some foster parents, some strangers, till my Aunt took me in. She started bloodletting me and, man, hah, I was scared shitless at first. But I got used to it eventually.”
“What do you mean ‘it’?” Sasuke muttered, sipping at his coffee.
“It, the demon. You remember? Pay attention, bastard. Anyway, she always told me that if I just bloodlet one a month or so I’d be fine, but that if I found another demon like mine, I’d be cool. Right? That’s why I liked you so much. I’ve been dreaming of you-well, the thing inside you, I guess, heh-for, like, ages. You were always sleeping in my dreams and I was always just watching, waiting for you to wake up. And when I met you, for the first time, damn I flipped shit. ”
“I remember,” Sasuke said dryly.
“Yeah, I know, shut up. Anyway, I got really ticked, ‘cause I thought it wasn’t you, the one who was in my dreams and I felt kinda cheated, I dunno. Cause you were all awake and I never saw you wake up. But that night I saw you wake up in my dreams. And then they kinda-changed.”
“Your dreams changed?”
“Erm, yeah.” Sasuke didn’t look up to see the blush, since Naruto was giving him the courtesy of not looking at his.
“You know,” Sasuke muttered, “that I don’t believe a word of this.”
Sasuke felt Naruto shrug his shoulders under his head. “Then why are you still here?”
Because you keep me awake. “To make sure you don’t kill yourself like the retard you are.”
Naruto chuckled, a little darkly. “Whatever you say, Sasuke.”
Three months-
After spending an hour in the waiting room, and then maybe ten minutes having a shallow discussion about his symptoms, the doctor recommended to Sasuke a sleeping drug. Sasuke shook his head-“I have no problem falling asleep, it’s staying awake.” But the doctor has shook his head, scribbled something illegible onto a notepad, and pressed the prescription into Sasuke’s reluctant hand. “Try it for a week. If it doesn’t work, come back and we’ll run some tests.”
Sasuke walked out of the hospital and into the cold afternoon. He’d taken the bus here, but there was Naruto-always, forever there-with a cup of coffee and a warm, waiting car. Sasuke shook his head, took the offered cup, and as they went to his car Sasuke threw the prescription into the trash can.
Four months-
“What are you-fuck, Naruto!” Bandages, he heeded bandages. Sasuke tore off his own shirt and pressed it frantically to Naruto’s arms.
“It won’t leave me alone,” and now Sasuke believed him, “it won’t stop. I want to tear you apart. Leave, please, let me-“
“You moron, just take it! Just take--¬” Sasuke could bring himself to say ‘me’. “Just do it, I don’t care,” except that he did, that he wanted it too but was too afraid of what he’d be in the morning. Addicted to the point of going comatose when Naruto left, or free, or just still the God damn same.
“Don’t say that,” Naruto sobbed, but he was biting Sasuke’s neck and running bloody palms under Sasuke’s shirt. Sasuke nearly gagged, so much blood.
“You cut too deep, you fucking dip-ah, ahh!” Sasuke fell on his back and Naruto pressed down above him, growling and tearing his clothes. Sasuke struggled to tie his shirt around Naruto’s wrists, but that just served him to have his arms pinned above his hands. Naruto ground down hard enough to leave bruises on both their hips, attempting to tear through their pants just by rubbing hard enough. Sasuke cursed and spluttered. Naruto dug his way between his thighs and Sasuke kissed him with nothing but teeth, kissing the demon inside of him.
Sasuke passes the time by thinking about inane things, like the smells and how many stars you can see tonight. He grips Naruto’s hair and wonders how it got to soft. Naruto is groaning into his skin wetly and Sasuke wants to bleed them both try and wonders if Naruto is okay, how he isn’t dizzy.
Everything felt like fire and slick, unforgiving ice. All at once, none at all, Naruto surging into him and then into his brain, taking everything there is and everything Sasuke didn’t have to give.
Sasuke grips hard with his own legs and wants Naruto, wants Naruto, not this torn and broken version of him but if this is the price he has to pay than Sasuke is willing to cough up. He plays dead on the floor, hips arching rhythmically until Naruto takes over that too, nails biting bloody crescents into the skin as Naruto’s demon moves them as he likes.
They rock together on the floor until Sasuke could bleed the demon out of his eyes.
Nine months-
Sasuke found his apartment a week after the Spring semester came to a close. During their many trysts, clothes had ended up in the wrong places so Sasuke ended up with a few of Naruto’s hooded jackets in his arsenal. He hadn’t washed them, the smell of Naruto lingering and pungent. He wore the darkest of them now-a plain navy one with no zipper and a large pocket, bright yellow string laced through the hood-and took deep breaths as he focused on his driving.
Sasuke walked up the stairs slowly, counting the steps. His fingertips shook, and he wondered if this was the rest of the life. Going to Naruto like an addict to a crack dealer. Pathetic. Sasuke attempted to walk straighter and he swore, just swore that the first thing he did when he saw Naruto was going to be to reconfigure his jaw.
But that wasn’t quite how it panned out. The moment Naruto opened up the door with a smile that was all too knowing, Sasuke shoved him back until his face slammed into the wall. Sasuke kicked the door shut and breathed hotly into Naruto’s neck. “What have you done to me?” Sasuke demanded, shaking him violently by the shoulders. “What the fuck did you do, Naruto!?”
“It isn’t what I did.” Naruto sounded remarkably calm for someone who was undoubtedly have their lungs crushed in their chest. “It’s not my fault.”
“It is!” Sasuke buried his face in Naruto’s neck and felt awake and alive and angry. Sasuke could hear The Little Mermaid playing on the TV screen at an obnoxious volume, but he was too hysterical in a crimson panic to switch it off. Panting, Sasuke licked the skin of Naruto’s neck before biting hard enough to taste blood. It was liquid copper, tasting sweet and fresh and something Sasuke craved so he bit harder. Naruto whimpered, Sasuke pressed against him with different intentions now. He sucked at his neck like some sort of vampire, wanting and wanting and never getting enough.
The demon inside him howled and Sasuke was lost to lust and full awareness.
Ten months-
Eventually, Naruto kicked him out. You’ve been gone for a week, Naruto scolded, I’m sure your brother’s worried, just go stay for a few days and then come back.
It took days of convincing before Naruto pushed and shoved Sasuke from his apartment. Sasuke snarled when Naruto went in for a hug, shouldering past him to the door.
“And what, exactly, do I do,” Sasuke snarled, “when the exhaustion hits again?”
“How d’you expect me to know?”
“You’re the one who’s always spewing all this demon crap at me left and right!”
“So you finally believe me then?” Naruto cut in, smirking. “Took you long enough.”
Sasuke hissed, “Just tell me what to do!” Just a few hours with Naruto’s presence did Sasuke in. A day’s company meant a a day’s Hell. What would a solid month of solid Naruto do to him?
“God, you never listen to anything I say.” Frustrated, Naruto left the room. For a moment Sasuke feared that that was it, that was the end. Had Sasuke resisted the good-bye hard? Had Naruto given up so freely?
But Naruto came back a moment later with a plastic shopping back and something swaddled in a thick dish towel. He shoved it into Sasuke’s chest.
Blinking, Sasuke was just about to open it when Naruto stopped him. “No, wait, open it at home, ‘kay? It’s a special remedy, it’ll keep you from getting too sleepy until I see you next.”
Sasuke snorted but looped the bag over his wrist to dangle. It held some weight. Some sort of herb?
“Do you get like this too?” Sasuke asked. “When I’m not around?”
Naruto snorted. “You know how I get.” Vengeful, conceited, monsterous, red red red. “Being around you helps a lot but… you know my other methods.” Naruto grinned.
Sasuke rolled his eyes and muttered, “Whatever.”
“Call when you get home?”
“If I remember.” He would. “I’ll be back on Sunday with my things.”
“Sounds good! Hey, wait, where are you-c’mere, give me a kiss good-bye you frigid dick.”
“The fuck do I look like, dead last, some smitten woman?”
“Yes? Ouch. Ouch, okay, stop, c’mere and lemme kiss you now.”
Sasuke’s shoulder rammed Naruto’s chin before the finally got one in. Sasuke bit his lip for it and when Naruto pouted he kissed him for real. Soaking up the last-minute energy, drawing in Naruto’s taste and hoping it would linger.
Naruto hung out the door to watch Sasuke leave, then peered out the window when Sasuke peeled from the parking lot.
Sasuke drove straight home without stopping. They lived four hours apart, and within the first hour Sasuke knew he’d better cut the time down to three if he hoped to make it back alive.
When Sasuke arrived home, Itachi’s car wasn’t in the driveway. Sasuke trudged upstairs to his bedroom, collapsing with his duffel bag at his side. Sasuke breathed slowly and calmly, trying very hard to get used to the feeling. Everything was heavy and troublesome here, like trying to exist in a world submerged in molasses.
Briefly, his eyes strayed to the bag Naruto had given him, ‘THANK YOU’ printed three times in a row in thick red print. After a minute, Sasuke summoned up the will to pull it to him. Things became dreadfully complicated upon opening the bag, getting through the plastic taking an overbearing amount of energy. But once Sasuke was in, the towel fell from his prize easily.
Sasuke stared at it for what must have been the rest of the afternoon, not sleeping, only existing in the moment. Waiting for someone to walk in and tell him not to do it. He remembered seeing Naruto the first time, the fiery explosion of pain and reawakening that left Sasuke crumbled and trembling in its wake. The overwhelming uselessness of existing in the world without his partner, half of his spirit gone and forever leaving Sasuke to crumble in on himself without Naruto’s presence. A sickening sort of dependence with which Naruto also clung to him.
But then again, Naruto had learned to control it.
Sasuke curled into a ball and pressed his face to his knees, brief flutters of fear flapping in his chest like a hummingbird’s wings. Eventually he gathered the courage to look at it again and realized that one should never fear pain. Only the empty darkness behind his eyelids and the grumbling beast entrenched deeply in his veins.
It was serrated with a comfort grip rubber handle. Sasuke fingered it and slowly sat up, breath fluttering out of him quickly. He turned his other hand over in his lap and stared at his pale skin. He remembered how Naruto had kissed the bruises under his eyes and that, within a few days, they’d faded like old scars. Sasuke blinked, not wanting them to return.
Slowly and carefully, like an artist making his first brushstroke on a canvas, Sasuke trailed the knife down his bare skin softly. It made a faint pink line that itched and puckered, but did not bleed.
Exhaustion bled through his veins. Sasuke pressed harder and hissed at the first peak of blood and flesh. He shivered not with cold, nor pain, but a sudden lightheadedness that ballooned into adrenaline. Sasuke shook and sat up straighter, staring down at pain and wakefulness.
Sasuke once again brought up the knife, sliding thick silver into his yielding skin and bloodletting the demon out and onto the bedspread.