(no subject)
so, i have the next four days off because of president's day.
i had the option to go home and i opted not to. i'm kicking myself for that now.
mostly everyone i know has left.
i was looking forward to having a close friend here over the long weekend, but now he will be spending atleast a week in a mental hospital.
it's really upsetting. and, we were planning on going to a concert in the city on sunday.
it's friday nite and i'm already bored out of my mind and upset.
i'm really worried about next year. i'm worried i won't be able to handle it and i won't like my living situation.
and i'm worried my weekend will be uneventful and lonely.
i wish i went home. i would atleast have had the company of my parents and dog.
ugh.
i'm working a lot over the next four days which will give me something to do.
i'm just really out of sorts right now.
i failed my first paper in one of my classes and i don't think i'm doing well in anything.
everyday something bothers me here at school to the point where i want to pick up and leave.
some of the people i'm very close to won't be coming back next year and it makes me really upset. and angry.
i wish i had the balls to decide this isn't the place for me, but i'm so worried that if i transfer i will be in the position of being a complete newbie and stranger to everything.
the boy i am completely head over heels for has no idea i feel this way.
all we ever do is make fun of each other and smoke.
don't get me wrong, i like doing that stuff but i wish he wasn't so secretive about his feelings.
i wish i could just tell him.
i'm almost broke and i don't get paid for another week.
i'm turning 19 in 17 days and i have no idea what that means.
well, actually i know it is a completely lackluster age to be and there isn't much to look forward to.
but, i was hoping for a bit more understanding by that time.
yeah. i think i'm really confused right now.
it is times like these where i wish i had my car here so i could listen to sappy indie music and drive around aimlessly.
that is a wonderful way to get anything and everything off of your mind.
but, instead i am stuck in my dorm feeling sorry for myself.
gah !!! i hate feeling that way.
so, this is the time where i find something better to do with my time than bitch and moan.
maybe it will make me feel better?
either way, i'm done.
xo
heather
i had the option to go home and i opted not to. i'm kicking myself for that now.
mostly everyone i know has left.
i was looking forward to having a close friend here over the long weekend, but now he will be spending atleast a week in a mental hospital.
it's really upsetting. and, we were planning on going to a concert in the city on sunday.
it's friday nite and i'm already bored out of my mind and upset.
i'm really worried about next year. i'm worried i won't be able to handle it and i won't like my living situation.
and i'm worried my weekend will be uneventful and lonely.
i wish i went home. i would atleast have had the company of my parents and dog.
ugh.
i'm working a lot over the next four days which will give me something to do.
i'm just really out of sorts right now.
i failed my first paper in one of my classes and i don't think i'm doing well in anything.
everyday something bothers me here at school to the point where i want to pick up and leave.
some of the people i'm very close to won't be coming back next year and it makes me really upset. and angry.
i wish i had the balls to decide this isn't the place for me, but i'm so worried that if i transfer i will be in the position of being a complete newbie and stranger to everything.
the boy i am completely head over heels for has no idea i feel this way.
all we ever do is make fun of each other and smoke.
don't get me wrong, i like doing that stuff but i wish he wasn't so secretive about his feelings.
i wish i could just tell him.
i'm almost broke and i don't get paid for another week.
i'm turning 19 in 17 days and i have no idea what that means.
well, actually i know it is a completely lackluster age to be and there isn't much to look forward to.
but, i was hoping for a bit more understanding by that time.
yeah. i think i'm really confused right now.
it is times like these where i wish i had my car here so i could listen to sappy indie music and drive around aimlessly.
that is a wonderful way to get anything and everything off of your mind.
but, instead i am stuck in my dorm feeling sorry for myself.
gah !!! i hate feeling that way.
so, this is the time where i find something better to do with my time than bitch and moan.
maybe it will make me feel better?
either way, i'm done.
xo
heather