Wow WTF
So another all nighter. I'm amazing. Today I didn't wake up and nothing changed, much like when I do wake up and things are still the same. So this has been my weekends: Planning to see bands at Legends, not feeling like getting dressed, not going to Legends, waiting for my darling to be online, talking to him but before then trying so hard not to go through that fucking scrapbook so that I don't cry and so that I don't feel. But if I'm weak I'll go through the scrapbook and end up sitting on the floor under my bed crying my eyes out clasping that scrapbook to my chest in the most desparate embrace because all I really want is a hug. God I really miss hugs. What if my soul dies here? What if I can't take the separation? I think I'm going to send home for my book of Maya Angelou poetry. If I can just last til the end of the week...that's a month and maybe it won't be so painful. I made Oliver a care package. I'm still knitting that damned scarf for Like. I'm still trying to be a good friend to Him. Seriously I might have to stop some things because how long can I go on giving other people what I wish I was getting myself and still be able to give to them with my whole heart. I want to love myself. (you pervs) I want to do what I want with out the guilt (thank you mom) Right now I'm so frustrated because miles away I'm still tied down. Okay I don't really have time for this. I will write later