Bittersweet
Life has been filled with some really great moments and some terrible reminders of my past the last few days. I have had Clayton tell me of his true feelings for me and have realized that we are very much so on the same page and I am thrilled as our relationship is developing. Ashly is back and that, of course, has been a wonderful adventure and our adventures are always entertaining and I love her dearly so all is well. However, I am a bit on the emotional side and my mother has once again managed to trample me like a ant caught by a male toddler. She wants to be my mother. I have taken care of myself for so long and taken care of her and by brother as well. I can finally relax on that slightly since issues in our lives have lessened, so now she decides to make up for seventeen years and want to control my life as if I was ten. Good luck. I am too independent and our relationship is so far gone from that that the mere thought of it is lunacy. I love my mother, I do, but she cannot change the childhood she gave me over night. It is so much more complicted than what I feel like typing....
Joesph told me his thoughts on my soul and my personality in general. It was weird because honestly, I knew what he was saying and I agreed with. His personality dialysis was oddly correct and all I could do was nod my head in agreement. I know that I am a strong person and that right now, for the most part, everything in my life is working toward a greater future and that makes me happy...but I cannot help the issues that come up so suddenly in my life when I feel like an emotional basketcase, I swear I want to twist my head off I feel so ridiculous. Plus, all of this is making me think about everyone in San Angelo and that inevitably leads to me being sad because I miss alot of people there. Ugh. I'll stop complaining now, I'm just emotional and I needed to vent, though alot is still built up inside, I can't really do too much just typing about it...
Joesph told me his thoughts on my soul and my personality in general. It was weird because honestly, I knew what he was saying and I agreed with. His personality dialysis was oddly correct and all I could do was nod my head in agreement. I know that I am a strong person and that right now, for the most part, everything in my life is working toward a greater future and that makes me happy...but I cannot help the issues that come up so suddenly in my life when I feel like an emotional basketcase, I swear I want to twist my head off I feel so ridiculous. Plus, all of this is making me think about everyone in San Angelo and that inevitably leads to me being sad because I miss alot of people there. Ugh. I'll stop complaining now, I'm just emotional and I needed to vent, though alot is still built up inside, I can't really do too much just typing about it...