el futuro
.summer plans. it actually hasn't been that bad, cuz i've been pretty busy lately. i have an upcoming dance recital on saturday so i have practices and stuff for that. and of course work has been keeping me busy. i also have contract summer school at the beginning of july for precal, so i'm going to study for that. and i got yelled at this weekend for not spending time with the family and not helping out around the house and being a "selfish spoiled bitch" soooo i think i'm going to work on that too =[. oh yeah, and get my freakin license =\. and i want to go to great america, and the beach, and just anywhere! this is the last summer before we're out of high school! we need to live it up yo!
.colleges. i'm talking to vikram right now about colleges and our future and stuff like that. lately i've been freaking out about what college to go to or what i wanna major in, or what i even want to do with my flippin life. but my lucky star is helping me figure out what i want to do. i guess i'm not really trippin bout what college i want to go to right now. i'm pretty much mindset that i'm gonna go to a JC first. i don't wanna enter a college undeclared, and then finally figure out what i want to do, and realize that i could've gone to a school best fit for what i wanted to major in.
.majors. last night i researched a lot on different majors i wanna do. it was a pretty long list at first, but i narrowed it down to: child development, nutrition, pediatrics, advertising, & psychology. i didn't even really think about pediatrics until today when vikram mentioned it. i was always like "ohh noo i do not want to go to school for that long." but i thought about it, and i guess i don't mind as much. i just know that i want to do something with kids and helping people. and what better than a pediatrician? either that or a child psychologist. and advertising would be pretty cool too, something in the business world. i've always admired the business woman. nothing's set in stone though what i want to do. knowing me, i'll find some other majors that i'm helluv interested it.
.friends. wow i totally miss my friends. like tricey, hibba, vikram, azeta, hazel.. ugh just a whole bunch of em! i really missed vikram though. this year we kind of drifted apart, but i feel that everytime i talk to him and catch him up on things, it feels like we've never been apart. i LOVE talking to him, he makes me so motivated and just make me feel so good about myself. hazel's in LA right now, and i miss herrrr! tricey's in chicago and i miss her too :( :(! and i don't know where in the hell hibba is, but i miss her tons and tons and tons!
.family. i got yelled at sunday night by my parents for being ungrateful, selfish.. ya know, the works. it's not anything new though. i've been yelled at like that before. but i think it really struck me this time. i'm kind of uncertain though, because i always say that i'm going to change, but i guess i never do =\. i seriously don't mean to be the way i am around my family. it just happens. my family says that i never smile when i'm around them and i don't want to be around them. THAT'S NOT TRUE! i seriously don't notice that i don't smile around them. i'm really really REALLY gonna make an extra effort to change. i'm definitely going to help out around the house more, help my mom with cooking [maybe i can learn a few things =P], be more sociable with my family. i felt like shit sunday night, and i really didn't intend to come off the way i did =(. i want to apologize to my mom. but me and my mom just don't apologize to each other. we're too proud to do it. cuz we know that the other person will take it to an extreme level. so we just don't apologize. not yet at least.
.dance. today was our last ballet practice =(. thursday we have a dress rehearsal at chabot and then saturday is the recital. it was a nice class today though. we did a lot of stretching and stuff. but yeah, after saturday, no more ballet =(! i really don't want to quit, but my parents are already fed up with it and the schedule is going to be the same as it was this year, and i just can't do that. i'm so tired after school and it's such a hassle getting rides and stuff. i think i'm just going to do a technique class. i should have my license too, and the class will be later in the day, so i don't think it will be that much of a problem. i don't want to stop ballet all together though, i love it so much. like when we have small classes and just work on technique and stretching and stuff, i love it so much. but when we have huge classes and just work on our recital dance, it gets really distracting and i feel like there's no point in taking the class. so i guess we'll just see how everything turns out.
wow i did a lot of reflecting today. feels good though to have all my thoughts organized. but i think now that i'm in this mood to be helpful and clean around the house and stuff, i'm gonna go put it to work. leave comments people! let me know you're alive!!