all i know is sweet and sour
an attempt to encapsulate the bittersweet reality of now (thanks, billy corgan) in +/- in a hurry because that's how i do everything:
let's start with the -'s. why the hell not?
-kind of going nuts. worse now than it's been in a while.
-having a really hard time doing schoolwork. serious lack of focus and aptitude to do the task at hand (eg, the word document of the nonfiction story, open on my desktop, that was due last monday.
-though i've been somewhat enlightened recently, my mp3 player doesn't work anymore.
- i have this weird stilted way of typing/writing and it's bleeding into my conversations pretty badly, too. i almost just wrote "...somewhat enlightened recently, my mp3 player no longer works."
-feel like the synapses in my mind have snapped like a booming straw in eat'n'park for the last time. don't know how to work my mind, where all those words i used to know went, when i forgot how to spell, when my motor skills, coordination, typing all went flying out the window.
-can't seem to get comfortable with sleeping. duration, frequency, nap vs. sleep, inability to nap despite being deadly tired.
-just about two big assignments left for each class.
-what is "weekend"?
going from there...
+got a paper back in my scifi class... 95% content, 95% organization. she even saw that i had sentence with its second half missing. EHE HE HE HE HE. i would say, "i guess all that time writing and working at the library paid off," but i probably wrote that one in a total of five or six hours.
+went to DC with josh on saturday to see the instant composers pool orchestra at the library of congress. drove back that night.
+been hanging out//making out/talking a little with a friend. we basically figured that we can't date. i'm also leaving the city in a month or so. i'm strangely not very invested in it. maybe that's a sign. but not dating leaves more time for important things like eating pizza and getting slurpees, i think. wave pools.
+been reading good things. frnkenstein by shelley, burn collector by al burian (thanks andy).
+everyone in my house has been hanging out together because we have a guest named nicola staying with us. she's from london, originally from new zealand, and her accent rules. she's pretty cool, but everyone's been really friendly, sitting around watching mr show last night, Safe Men tonight. it's nice.
+i took adderol last week. probably what dropped me down to some of those lower -'s. i dunno. no huge effect other than making me feel crazy afterwards. i felt normal when i dosed. i'm going to student health tomorrow, i think, maybe for something else, but i'll ask them about it.
+want to get back into regularly doing things that make me feel good, like playing music and running. i saw the center jazz band the other night and really wanted to play some charts on saxophone. of course, there's the ICP too. tomorrow afternoon jo is cutting out of work, and he, spencer and i are going to make noise for a few hours. i'm psyched.
+/- living in aliquippa for the summer. huh. need to find a new arrangement for fall.
john k. is taking my room. later.
the light at the end of the tunnel is a train.
let's start with the -'s. why the hell not?
-kind of going nuts. worse now than it's been in a while.
-having a really hard time doing schoolwork. serious lack of focus and aptitude to do the task at hand (eg, the word document of the nonfiction story, open on my desktop, that was due last monday.
-though i've been somewhat enlightened recently, my mp3 player doesn't work anymore.
- i have this weird stilted way of typing/writing and it's bleeding into my conversations pretty badly, too. i almost just wrote "...somewhat enlightened recently, my mp3 player no longer works."
-feel like the synapses in my mind have snapped like a booming straw in eat'n'park for the last time. don't know how to work my mind, where all those words i used to know went, when i forgot how to spell, when my motor skills, coordination, typing all went flying out the window.
-can't seem to get comfortable with sleeping. duration, frequency, nap vs. sleep, inability to nap despite being deadly tired.
-just about two big assignments left for each class.
-what is "weekend"?
going from there...
+got a paper back in my scifi class... 95% content, 95% organization. she even saw that i had sentence with its second half missing. EHE HE HE HE HE. i would say, "i guess all that time writing and working at the library paid off," but i probably wrote that one in a total of five or six hours.
+went to DC with josh on saturday to see the instant composers pool orchestra at the library of congress. drove back that night.
+been hanging out//making out/talking a little with a friend. we basically figured that we can't date. i'm also leaving the city in a month or so. i'm strangely not very invested in it. maybe that's a sign. but not dating leaves more time for important things like eating pizza and getting slurpees, i think. wave pools.
+been reading good things. frnkenstein by shelley, burn collector by al burian (thanks andy).
+everyone in my house has been hanging out together because we have a guest named nicola staying with us. she's from london, originally from new zealand, and her accent rules. she's pretty cool, but everyone's been really friendly, sitting around watching mr show last night, Safe Men tonight. it's nice.
+i took adderol last week. probably what dropped me down to some of those lower -'s. i dunno. no huge effect other than making me feel crazy afterwards. i felt normal when i dosed. i'm going to student health tomorrow, i think, maybe for something else, but i'll ask them about it.
+want to get back into regularly doing things that make me feel good, like playing music and running. i saw the center jazz band the other night and really wanted to play some charts on saxophone. of course, there's the ICP too. tomorrow afternoon jo is cutting out of work, and he, spencer and i are going to make noise for a few hours. i'm psyched.
+/- living in aliquippa for the summer. huh. need to find a new arrangement for fall.
john k. is taking my room. later.
the light at the end of the tunnel is a train.