Writing interpersonal relations would probably be easier if I actually had social skills.
Oddly enough, most of the time I can muddle through writing characters who have better social skills than I do (social skills were apparently my dump stat*) , but some things elude me completely. How do people flirt? How does one convey friendship rather than interest? (Though that I might succeed at accidentally simply due to my utter lack of knowledge of how one conveys interest.) How do you convey someone incompetently pursuing someone who isn't interested? (Okay, maybe that's easier... At worst, watch icky 80s teen comedies and make note of what the failed love interest does.) How do you chat someone up for information? (Though I have semi-accidentally... >.> okay, totally on purpose done this in real life, so maybe that's not so difficult.**)
Also, why does trading sex for information seem perfectly okay in other people's works of fiction, but questionable in the consent department when I consider whether or not I want to use that trope. (I why can't I find that trope on TV Tropes?! It is a trope, damn it! *waves at Bond-type spy fiction*) I can allude to it, but when I consider full on using it, questions arise. *resists urge to make naughty pun* Moving on. Hem. It's such a staple of Bond-type spy fiction. And I want to be tropetastic. It's also manipulative, though not necessarily more manipulative than talking to someone for information or to distract them. (Maybe it's just that it's very double-standarded and since I can't figure out exactly why, I'm reluctant to use it. Men in fiction go through with it, and no thought is given to whether anything's wrong with that. Women in fiction generally don't, unless they're the bad guy, er, gal. But is that double standard: sex (good girls don't) or double standard: things of questionable consent (men always want hot women/sex)?)
And most of this has absolutely nothing to do with the conversation I've been stuck on for months. That I'm slowly progressing on. Finally. Or even the story I'm working on. I'm great at distracting myself with irrelevancies when I ought to be writing.
*Seriously, I frequently wish there was a book on "How to Interact With People." I mean, there are, sort of, but most of them assume you actually have some grasp of basic human interaction. I did okay as a kid, but after that it all became a vast mystery full of rules everyone seems to know but me. Can we go back to the days when you could just walk up to someone and say "I want to be your friend" or "Wanna play cars?" and that was sufficient? No? Fine. *pouts*
**What? I was a college student with delusions of being a private detective. I got the campus security guard to tell me all kinds of stuff he shouldn't have told me, mainly just by asking. I swear I didn't do anything. I just made pleasant conversation and found out exactly when security rounds were and that they mostly hung out in their office, only leaving it to do said rounds, and when they locked various buildings, also that there weren't alarms. (I also seem to have pluses to social skills when life imitates fiction. My brain went "Hey! You're talking to a security guard! Find out everything you can!" and suddenly the right words popped out. Or my charisma suddenly became a 20. Or something.) And some day I will tell the tale of what I did with said information...
This entry was originally posted at http://smurasaki.dreamwidth.org/130546.html.
Also, why does trading sex for information seem perfectly okay in other people's works of fiction, but questionable in the consent department when I consider whether or not I want to use that trope. (I why can't I find that trope on TV Tropes?! It is a trope, damn it! *waves at Bond-type spy fiction*) I can allude to it, but when I consider full on using it, questions arise. *resists urge to make naughty pun* Moving on. Hem. It's such a staple of Bond-type spy fiction. And I want to be tropetastic. It's also manipulative, though not necessarily more manipulative than talking to someone for information or to distract them. (Maybe it's just that it's very double-standarded and since I can't figure out exactly why, I'm reluctant to use it. Men in fiction go through with it, and no thought is given to whether anything's wrong with that. Women in fiction generally don't, unless they're the bad guy, er, gal. But is that double standard: sex (good girls don't) or double standard: things of questionable consent (men always want hot women/sex)?)
And most of this has absolutely nothing to do with the conversation I've been stuck on for months. That I'm slowly progressing on. Finally. Or even the story I'm working on. I'm great at distracting myself with irrelevancies when I ought to be writing.
*Seriously, I frequently wish there was a book on "How to Interact With People." I mean, there are, sort of, but most of them assume you actually have some grasp of basic human interaction. I did okay as a kid, but after that it all became a vast mystery full of rules everyone seems to know but me. Can we go back to the days when you could just walk up to someone and say "I want to be your friend" or "Wanna play cars?" and that was sufficient? No? Fine. *pouts*
**What? I was a college student with delusions of being a private detective. I got the campus security guard to tell me all kinds of stuff he shouldn't have told me, mainly just by asking. I swear I didn't do anything. I just made pleasant conversation and found out exactly when security rounds were and that they mostly hung out in their office, only leaving it to do said rounds, and when they locked various buildings, also that there weren't alarms. (I also seem to have pluses to social skills when life imitates fiction. My brain went "Hey! You're talking to a security guard! Find out everything you can!" and suddenly the right words popped out. Or my charisma suddenly became a 20. Or something.) And some day I will tell the tale of what I did with said information...
This entry was originally posted at http://smurasaki.dreamwidth.org/130546.html.