Dear God (Our Lord & Savoir, Etc. Etc.),

[smuj]

You can totally have Rush Limbaugh! He's in critical condition. Just take him. I know he's fat and old and probably not (though possibly) a virgin, but he's all yours. I know my offering him up is like trying to pawn pyrite, but dude, any leverage I can get on 2010 is good shit. He's got to be worth something, right?

Love,
Tasia