meme
Haha. I got bored halfway through writing one of my own Myspace entries, so decided to come out of Livejournal retirement to do a meme.
Four jobs I’ve had:
1. Landlord (not manager, mind you, actual Landlord) of the Railway public house, Harrow. Also, kind of co-landlord of the Printers Devil, Slough. AT THE SAME TIME. Busiest boy ever.
2. System X translations engineers, Old Street. During my stint in telecoms software, I pacifically wanted to work on System X software, simply because it is called System X, and you have to be a secret agent to work on it.
3. Numerous kitchen porter/washing up jobs, most notably in the canteen at Hewlett Packard in Slough High Street, where I was so bored I learned conversational Gambian from the other washer upper. 'Jatalima la plattla' - 'pass me the plates.' Junwa Gambia la - 'I am a Gambian.' 'Paul gimba danto mugabe a pika bel Colin le min sipa sipa' 'Paul has a huge snake, but Colin has a tiny prawn' - all everyday phrases. Colin was the chef, and a figure of fun.
4. Calculator tester. It was just that. Take a calculator from the box, press '8' eight times, and if they all come up, put it back in the box. Not only was every single calculator in perfect working order, I was the only person on the line who hadn't been in prison for some considerable time.
Four places I've lived:
1. Mile End, London
2. Canning Town, London
3. Slough, Berkshire
4. Reading, Berkshire
Four languages I speak reasonably well, though have never used all at once:
1. English.
2. Gambian.
3. Panjabi.
Four places where I've stayed for more than a month:
1. Mile End, London
2. Canning Town, London
3. Slough, Berkshire
4. Alabama, USA
Four places I've never been but would like to visit:
1. Stokholm. Just fancy it, for some reason. Any of the Scando places will do.
2. Actually, I don't have any great longings to travel. People who have travelled a lot usually make you wish they hadn't come home and bored you fucking senseless.
Four of my favourite foods:
1. Pizza, especially Pizza Hut. The awesome best, and of absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever. You actually can't digest it.
2. Ice Cream Factory. (See 1.)
3. Any seafood, especially shellfish.
4. Eggs. Poached please, and poached PROPERLY, in boiling water. Underdone if in doubt, as you want the yolks runny.
Four subjects I've studied:
1. Political philosophy at the OU. Still have a year to go.
2. Rousseauvian political theory notably The Soical Contract. (See 1.)
3. Panjabi, although only the basics. Meera name he Paul, and such. I have no idea how to mock a chef's penis in Panjabi.
4. Soviet social history.
Four celebrity crush fantasies:
1. I used to fancy Candida Doyle out of Pulp, but, having met her a while back and actually sat in her flat in Stoke Newington drinking tea, I can reveal that she is pretty ropey these days. You might be tempted to have a go on her for old times' sake, but I wasn't.
2. Actually, I can't think of any others at this moment.
Four things I often wish were true about myself:
1. That I could cook.
2. That I had an interesting vice.
3. That I was a rowdy toff from the time of Charles II, as I was reading about them today and they seemed to have a bare laugh.
4. That I was a highwayman, preferably a dandy one, in the style of 3.
Four jobs I’ve had:
1. Landlord (not manager, mind you, actual Landlord) of the Railway public house, Harrow. Also, kind of co-landlord of the Printers Devil, Slough. AT THE SAME TIME. Busiest boy ever.
2. System X translations engineers, Old Street. During my stint in telecoms software, I pacifically wanted to work on System X software, simply because it is called System X, and you have to be a secret agent to work on it.
3. Numerous kitchen porter/washing up jobs, most notably in the canteen at Hewlett Packard in Slough High Street, where I was so bored I learned conversational Gambian from the other washer upper. 'Jatalima la plattla' - 'pass me the plates.' Junwa Gambia la - 'I am a Gambian.' 'Paul gimba danto mugabe a pika bel Colin le min sipa sipa' 'Paul has a huge snake, but Colin has a tiny prawn' - all everyday phrases. Colin was the chef, and a figure of fun.
4. Calculator tester. It was just that. Take a calculator from the box, press '8' eight times, and if they all come up, put it back in the box. Not only was every single calculator in perfect working order, I was the only person on the line who hadn't been in prison for some considerable time.
Four places I've lived:
1. Mile End, London
2. Canning Town, London
3. Slough, Berkshire
4. Reading, Berkshire
Four languages I speak reasonably well, though have never used all at once:
1. English.
2. Gambian.
3. Panjabi.
Four places where I've stayed for more than a month:
1. Mile End, London
2. Canning Town, London
3. Slough, Berkshire
4. Alabama, USA
Four places I've never been but would like to visit:
1. Stokholm. Just fancy it, for some reason. Any of the Scando places will do.
2. Actually, I don't have any great longings to travel. People who have travelled a lot usually make you wish they hadn't come home and bored you fucking senseless.
Four of my favourite foods:
1. Pizza, especially Pizza Hut. The awesome best, and of absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever. You actually can't digest it.
2. Ice Cream Factory. (See 1.)
3. Any seafood, especially shellfish.
4. Eggs. Poached please, and poached PROPERLY, in boiling water. Underdone if in doubt, as you want the yolks runny.
Four subjects I've studied:
1. Political philosophy at the OU. Still have a year to go.
2. Rousseauvian political theory notably The Soical Contract. (See 1.)
3. Panjabi, although only the basics. Meera name he Paul, and such. I have no idea how to mock a chef's penis in Panjabi.
4. Soviet social history.
Four celebrity crush fantasies:
1. I used to fancy Candida Doyle out of Pulp, but, having met her a while back and actually sat in her flat in Stoke Newington drinking tea, I can reveal that she is pretty ropey these days. You might be tempted to have a go on her for old times' sake, but I wasn't.
2. Actually, I can't think of any others at this moment.
Four things I often wish were true about myself:
1. That I could cook.
2. That I had an interesting vice.
3. That I was a rowdy toff from the time of Charles II, as I was reading about them today and they seemed to have a bare laugh.
4. That I was a highwayman, preferably a dandy one, in the style of 3.