Fuck
There are these people in my life who make me feel like I'm in high school all over again.
They're kinda nice to me, but I can tell they don't really like me... they'd just like to pretend so I don't hate them. I don't know why they care. I wish they didn't though, because there's this kid in me who never got excepted, who just wants them to like me... please, please, please... and I go to any lengths to get them to. What I end up doing is looking like a complete idiot, and hating myself even more than I did in the first place. They never do end up liking me, either...
Then there are these other two people who I love more than anything... one I'm not scared of losing, because she's my very best friend... but sometimes I think I hurt her feelings even though I don't mean to. And the other one I'm terrified of losing every second of every day... and if I lost him I'm pretty sure my heart would break into 5,000 pieces and scatter into my chest giving me breathing problems until I died an early death. How can I love someone so much, but hate them at the same time for making me so insanely scared when I'm not around him?
So basically, I'm a mess... and sometimes I feel like a scared, and lonely mess. And sometimes is right now, in case you hadn't noticed.
And no one reads my LJ... but I don't know where else to write this.
They're kinda nice to me, but I can tell they don't really like me... they'd just like to pretend so I don't hate them. I don't know why they care. I wish they didn't though, because there's this kid in me who never got excepted, who just wants them to like me... please, please, please... and I go to any lengths to get them to. What I end up doing is looking like a complete idiot, and hating myself even more than I did in the first place. They never do end up liking me, either...
Then there are these other two people who I love more than anything... one I'm not scared of losing, because she's my very best friend... but sometimes I think I hurt her feelings even though I don't mean to. And the other one I'm terrified of losing every second of every day... and if I lost him I'm pretty sure my heart would break into 5,000 pieces and scatter into my chest giving me breathing problems until I died an early death. How can I love someone so much, but hate them at the same time for making me so insanely scared when I'm not around him?
So basically, I'm a mess... and sometimes I feel like a scared, and lonely mess. And sometimes is right now, in case you hadn't noticed.
And no one reads my LJ... but I don't know where else to write this.