Brittainy (Sailor Moon) and the Canadian Sailor Scouts
I was going to do something, but it would've required a lot of effort. Eh, maybe next year.
Title: The Sailor Scouts in Canada
Writer: JesusFreak777 (Who also wrote the Christian soapbox "classic" How Can I Go On?.)
Summary: “Read it and find out what it's about.” (What if I don't like it? If you don't like something, you obviously shouldn't read it. But I have to read it to find out if I like it or not. My head...)
Canon: Dubbed
Rating: 3
Name: Brittainy, Johnna Mooney, Angela Barlas, Jesica Isaac, Jenna Malinoski, Deanna Padley, Jennifer Netzel, Kelsi Kerestesh, Alyssa Chase
Senshi Title: Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Mars, Sailor Jupiter, Sailor Venus, Sailor Uranus, Sailor Neptune, Sailor Pluto, Sailor Mini Moon
Hair: Not described
Eyes: I would try to find out, but then I would be a stalker
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None
Senshi Outfit: Canon
Possessions:
Brittainy: A locket and the Silver Crystal
Alyssa: A heart-shaped locket
Guardians:
Brittainy: Luna
Jenna: Artemis
Origin: Melville, Saskatchewan, Canada. Brittainy is the moon princess. Alyssa lives with Brittainy and her mom and pretends to be her cousin since she’s her future daughter. Jennifer has a younger brother.
Connections to Canon: They stole their titles. Brittainy’s boyfriend is not the canon Darien.
Senshi Moves: Canon
Other Special Abilities: Johnna can beat NotCanon!Darien at air hockey.
Annoying Traits: Self-inserts. Brittainy uses the Silver Crystal to kill the Amazon Trio and save Darien from them, killing herself. But the power of love resurrects her. Then, Darien gets the power to transform into the Masked Ass Saver.
Comments:
Oh...dear L.Ron Hubbard...why hath thou forsaken me?
You hid one of your paychecks from the church, didn’t you?
This story has nothing to do with religion or people getting pregnant and having perfect babies who only cry when they need to be fed or changed and have diapers that smell like cinnamon buns. So no Christian wank today.
Samples:
“Oh, for cryin’ out loud!” I said. “Can this summer heat be any more unbearable?”
“You shouldn’t say that or thins might just get worse,” Deanna said. Hey, my name’s Brittainy and I live in Melville, Saskatchewan. At first I thought that Melville was just another hum-drum place. All that changed just over two years ago. A black cat named Luna came to me and told me that evil forces had arrived on Earth and that I was destined to protect the planet. She then gave me a locket to transform me into Sailor Moon. Ever since then, I’ve been fighting against the forces of evil for the sake of the Earth. After a while, the other Sailor Scouts came into the picture. Luna helped Johnna, Angela, and Jesica discover their powers. A white cat named Artemis helped Jenna discover her powers. Deanna, Jennifer, and Kelsi discovered their powers on their own. Alyssa became Sailor Mini Moon when she found out that we were the Sailor Scouts. Luna then created a special, heart-shaped locket for her.
That afternoon, all nine of us were just hanging out at the arcade. It was just another hot, summer day.
“It is hot, but it’s summer,” Kelsi said.
“Yeah, but why does summer have to be so hot?” I complained.
“Britt, stop complaining,” Angela said.
“Make me,” I said back.
“Both of you, cut it out,” Johnna said. Angela and I both shut up.
“Just be thankful there’s no school,” Jesica said.
“Tell me about it,” Jennifer said. Just then, my boyfriend, Darien, walked into the building. I didn’t see him because my back was facing the door.
“Ooh! Someone’s sweetheart just walked in,” Jenna said. I turned around because I knew she was referring to Darien. When I saw him, I got up and went to give him a hug.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey,” he said as he hugged me.
“Do you want to sit with me and the girls?” I asked.
“Sure,” he said. “If they don’t mind.”
“They really don’t have a choice,” I said. Once Darien sat down, Jenna started asking him how our relationship was going.
“It’s going fine,” Darien said. “It’s been over two years so it should be fine.” It was true. Darien and I had met over two years ago and we had almost immediately clicked. Our relationship had started before I became Sailor Moon. I had wanted to tell him, but Luna forbade the scouts to tell anyone.
“Well, of course,” Jenna said. “You two are the perfect couple.”
“Thanks, Jenna,” I said. “Now, can you lay off with the questions. You ask us this stuff every time.”
“Sorry, but I can’t help it,” Jenna said.
Yeah, I know you can’t help it, I thought, You’re the Sailor Scout of love. We all sat there, drinking our Slush Puppies and talking for quite a while. Around suppertime, I had to go home. Johnna and Jesica were coming over so they came with me. Alyssa came with us on account of she lives with me and my mom. Oh, I should probably mention that before Deanna, Jennifer, and Kelsi came along, I found out that I was the princess of the Moon Kingdom. Also, after they came, I found out that Alyssa was my future daughter. No one had any idea who the father was yet. Alyssa was in this time to help us fight evil. She posed as my cousin.
Darien walked with me, Johnna, Jesica, and Alyssa to my place. Before he left, I kissed him goodnight. It was only 5 p.m. but still...I wasn’t going to see him again that day. My friends and I had eaten downtown so we went straight to my room.
“So, girls, whaddaya say we put on some music?” I said.
“Sounds great,” Johnna said.
“Can we grab some munchies?” Jesica asked.
“Girl, we just ate,” I said.
“I know, but I’m still hungry,” Jesica said.
“Okay,” I said as I reached under my bed. When I did, I felt nothing.
“Alyssa!” I shouted as I ran downstairs.
“Brittainy, stop yelling,” my mom said as I ran into the living room.
“But that fungus stole my Cheetos!” I said.
“Relax. There’s another big bag in the kitchen cupboard,” my mom said. Sure enough, there was a huge bag of Cheetos in the cupboard. I poured three glasses of Coca-Cola and put them on a tray. Then, with the bag of Cheetos under my arm and carrying the tray, I walked back to my room.
------------------------------------------
“Guys, absorb the boy’s dream energy,” Fish-Eye said. “It’ll make you more powerful.” They all gathered around the ball of dreamed energy and placed their hands over it. As they absorbed the energy, Darien slowly lost consciousness.
“Darien! No!” I shouted.
“They’ve already absorbed his dream energy,” Sailor Mars said.
“There’s only one way to get it back,” Sailor Pluto said. “We’ll have to destroy them.”
“You can go ahead and try,” Tiger’s-Eye said.
“We will!” Sailor Jupiter said. “Jupiter Oak Evolution!” Hawk’s-Eye used his power to block the attack.
“Let me try!” Sailor Venus said. “Venus Love and Beauty Shock!” Tiger’s-Eye used his whip and blocked the attack. He then gave Sailor Venus the whipping of her life.
“Venus!” I shouted. “My turn. Moon Tiara Magic!” Fish-Eye used her powers and blocked my tiara and sent me flying. The other scouts all tried their attacks but the Amazon Trio was too strong.
“Girls, there’s only one thing left to do,” I said. “I’ve got to use the Imperium Silver Crystal.”
“You can’t,” Sailor Mercury said. “You’ll die if you use the crystal.”
“I have to, Mercury,” I said. “I have to save Darien’s life. Moon Cosmic Transformation!” I then transformed into the Moon Princess and the crescent moon wand appeared in my hand. The Imperium Silver Crystal floated out of my broach and onto the wand.
“Cosmic Moon Power!” I shouted. The crystal glowed and its power was released. The Amazon Trio all used their powers to try and block that of the Crystal.
“Sailor Scouts, give me your powers,” I said. “It will be enough to destroy the Amazon Trio.”
“Right!” Sailor Mercury said. “Mercury Crystal Power!”
“Mars Crystal Power!”
“Jupiter Crystal Power!”
“Venus Crystal Power!”
“Uranus Crystal Power!”
“Neptune Crystal Power!”
“Pluto Crystal Power!”
“Moon Cosmic Dream Action!”
“Cosmic Moon Power!” I shouted. The power of the crystal combined with the scouts’ powers destroyed the Amazon Trio once and for all. Once they were destroyed, Darien’s dream energy reappeared. Once the crystal stopped glowing, it disappeared and I turned back into Sailor Moon. The scouts ran to my side.
“Give Darien back his dream energy and tell him that I love him,” I said. After those words, I was gone.
“Brittainy!” the scouts shouted.
“What should we do?” Sailor Venus asked.
“We have to give Darien his dream energy,” Sailor Mercury said. She then took the ball of dream energy and gave it back to Darien.
“Where’s Brittainy?” he asked as soon as he woke up. The scouts all hung their heads and looked towards my body, lying motionless on the ground.
“Brittainy! No!” Darien shouted and held my body close to his. “This can’t be happening.”
“She loved you very much, Darien,” Sailor Mercury said. “But, there’s no way to bring her back. The crystal is the source of her life and once it’s used up, she dies.”
“I just want to give her one last kiss,” Darien said as he bent down and kissed me. Once he pulled away, the empty space in my broach where the crystal was began to sparkle.
“What’s happening?” Darien asked,
“What do you mean?” Sailor Neptune asked.
“Her broach is sparkling,” Darien said.
“It may be that the power of love is restoring the crystal and Brittainy’s life,” Sailor Venus said. Just then, the crystal reappeared and I opened my eyes.
“Oh, Brittainy,” Darien said. “Thank God.”
“I guess the crystal isn’t impossible to recover after all,” Sailor Mercury said.
“Brittainy, are your friends the Sailor Scouts?” Darien asked. I then proceeded to tell him the entire story.
“That’s not the whole thing,” Artemis said as he and Luna came running up.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well, you know that you’re Alyssa’s future mother, right?” Luna said.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Well, Darien is Alyssa’s future father,” Luna said.
“Huh?!” Darien said. “You mean that Brittainy’s cousin is my daughter?!”
“She’s only my cousin to everyone else on Earth,” I said. “To us, she’s the future Moon Princess and I’m the future Queen of Earth.”
“You mean, that someday you and I will be king and queen of Earth?” Darien said to me.
“Yes,” I said.
“Wow! That’s some destiny,” Darien said.
“I just hope we’ll both be ready when the time comes,” I said.
“You will be,” Sailor Neptune said.
“Darien, now that you know our story, we will give you a special power, as well,” Luna said. She then created a red rose for him.
“What’s this for?” Darien asked.
“That’s a special rose that will transform you into Tuxedo Mask,” Luna said. “Your mission is to help the Sailor Scouts and protect them. All you do is hold it in the light of the moon.”
“Luna, did you and Artemis know all along that Darien was to become Tuxedo Mask?” I asked.
“Yes, we did,” Luna said. “We knew that Darien was Alyssa’s father, as well. But for some reason, we waited until now to tell him.”
Title: The Sailor Scouts in Canada
Writer: JesusFreak777 (Who also wrote the Christian soapbox "classic" How Can I Go On?.)
Summary: “Read it and find out what it's about.” (What if I don't like it? If you don't like something, you obviously shouldn't read it. But I have to read it to find out if I like it or not. My head...)
Canon: Dubbed
Rating: 3
Name: Brittainy, Johnna Mooney, Angela Barlas, Jesica Isaac, Jenna Malinoski, Deanna Padley, Jennifer Netzel, Kelsi Kerestesh, Alyssa Chase
Senshi Title: Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Mars, Sailor Jupiter, Sailor Venus, Sailor Uranus, Sailor Neptune, Sailor Pluto, Sailor Mini Moon
Hair: Not described
Eyes: I would try to find out, but then I would be a stalker
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None
Senshi Outfit: Canon
Possessions:
Brittainy: A locket and the Silver Crystal
Alyssa: A heart-shaped locket
Guardians:
Brittainy: Luna
Jenna: Artemis
Origin: Melville, Saskatchewan, Canada. Brittainy is the moon princess. Alyssa lives with Brittainy and her mom and pretends to be her cousin since she’s her future daughter. Jennifer has a younger brother.
Connections to Canon: They stole their titles. Brittainy’s boyfriend is not the canon Darien.
Senshi Moves: Canon
Other Special Abilities: Johnna can beat NotCanon!Darien at air hockey.
Annoying Traits: Self-inserts. Brittainy uses the Silver Crystal to kill the Amazon Trio and save Darien from them, killing herself. But the power of love resurrects her. Then, Darien gets the power to transform into the Masked Ass Saver.
Comments:
Oh...dear L.Ron Hubbard...why hath thou forsaken me?
You hid one of your paychecks from the church, didn’t you?
This story has nothing to do with religion or people getting pregnant and having perfect babies who only cry when they need to be fed or changed and have diapers that smell like cinnamon buns. So no Christian wank today.
Samples:
“Oh, for cryin’ out loud!” I said. “Can this summer heat be any more unbearable?”
“You shouldn’t say that or thins might just get worse,” Deanna said. Hey, my name’s Brittainy and I live in Melville, Saskatchewan. At first I thought that Melville was just another hum-drum place. All that changed just over two years ago. A black cat named Luna came to me and told me that evil forces had arrived on Earth and that I was destined to protect the planet. She then gave me a locket to transform me into Sailor Moon. Ever since then, I’ve been fighting against the forces of evil for the sake of the Earth. After a while, the other Sailor Scouts came into the picture. Luna helped Johnna, Angela, and Jesica discover their powers. A white cat named Artemis helped Jenna discover her powers. Deanna, Jennifer, and Kelsi discovered their powers on their own. Alyssa became Sailor Mini Moon when she found out that we were the Sailor Scouts. Luna then created a special, heart-shaped locket for her.
That afternoon, all nine of us were just hanging out at the arcade. It was just another hot, summer day.
“It is hot, but it’s summer,” Kelsi said.
“Yeah, but why does summer have to be so hot?” I complained.
“Britt, stop complaining,” Angela said.
“Make me,” I said back.
“Both of you, cut it out,” Johnna said. Angela and I both shut up.
“Just be thankful there’s no school,” Jesica said.
“Tell me about it,” Jennifer said. Just then, my boyfriend, Darien, walked into the building. I didn’t see him because my back was facing the door.
“Ooh! Someone’s sweetheart just walked in,” Jenna said. I turned around because I knew she was referring to Darien. When I saw him, I got up and went to give him a hug.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey,” he said as he hugged me.
“Do you want to sit with me and the girls?” I asked.
“Sure,” he said. “If they don’t mind.”
“They really don’t have a choice,” I said. Once Darien sat down, Jenna started asking him how our relationship was going.
“It’s going fine,” Darien said. “It’s been over two years so it should be fine.” It was true. Darien and I had met over two years ago and we had almost immediately clicked. Our relationship had started before I became Sailor Moon. I had wanted to tell him, but Luna forbade the scouts to tell anyone.
“Well, of course,” Jenna said. “You two are the perfect couple.”
“Thanks, Jenna,” I said. “Now, can you lay off with the questions. You ask us this stuff every time.”
“Sorry, but I can’t help it,” Jenna said.
Yeah, I know you can’t help it, I thought, You’re the Sailor Scout of love. We all sat there, drinking our Slush Puppies and talking for quite a while. Around suppertime, I had to go home. Johnna and Jesica were coming over so they came with me. Alyssa came with us on account of she lives with me and my mom. Oh, I should probably mention that before Deanna, Jennifer, and Kelsi came along, I found out that I was the princess of the Moon Kingdom. Also, after they came, I found out that Alyssa was my future daughter. No one had any idea who the father was yet. Alyssa was in this time to help us fight evil. She posed as my cousin.
Darien walked with me, Johnna, Jesica, and Alyssa to my place. Before he left, I kissed him goodnight. It was only 5 p.m. but still...I wasn’t going to see him again that day. My friends and I had eaten downtown so we went straight to my room.
“So, girls, whaddaya say we put on some music?” I said.
“Sounds great,” Johnna said.
“Can we grab some munchies?” Jesica asked.
“Girl, we just ate,” I said.
“I know, but I’m still hungry,” Jesica said.
“Okay,” I said as I reached under my bed. When I did, I felt nothing.
“Alyssa!” I shouted as I ran downstairs.
“Brittainy, stop yelling,” my mom said as I ran into the living room.
“But that fungus stole my Cheetos!” I said.
“Relax. There’s another big bag in the kitchen cupboard,” my mom said. Sure enough, there was a huge bag of Cheetos in the cupboard. I poured three glasses of Coca-Cola and put them on a tray. Then, with the bag of Cheetos under my arm and carrying the tray, I walked back to my room.
------------------------------------------
“Guys, absorb the boy’s dream energy,” Fish-Eye said. “It’ll make you more powerful.” They all gathered around the ball of dreamed energy and placed their hands over it. As they absorbed the energy, Darien slowly lost consciousness.
“Darien! No!” I shouted.
“They’ve already absorbed his dream energy,” Sailor Mars said.
“There’s only one way to get it back,” Sailor Pluto said. “We’ll have to destroy them.”
“You can go ahead and try,” Tiger’s-Eye said.
“We will!” Sailor Jupiter said. “Jupiter Oak Evolution!” Hawk’s-Eye used his power to block the attack.
“Let me try!” Sailor Venus said. “Venus Love and Beauty Shock!” Tiger’s-Eye used his whip and blocked the attack. He then gave Sailor Venus the whipping of her life.
“Venus!” I shouted. “My turn. Moon Tiara Magic!” Fish-Eye used her powers and blocked my tiara and sent me flying. The other scouts all tried their attacks but the Amazon Trio was too strong.
“Girls, there’s only one thing left to do,” I said. “I’ve got to use the Imperium Silver Crystal.”
“You can’t,” Sailor Mercury said. “You’ll die if you use the crystal.”
“I have to, Mercury,” I said. “I have to save Darien’s life. Moon Cosmic Transformation!” I then transformed into the Moon Princess and the crescent moon wand appeared in my hand. The Imperium Silver Crystal floated out of my broach and onto the wand.
“Cosmic Moon Power!” I shouted. The crystal glowed and its power was released. The Amazon Trio all used their powers to try and block that of the Crystal.
“Sailor Scouts, give me your powers,” I said. “It will be enough to destroy the Amazon Trio.”
“Right!” Sailor Mercury said. “Mercury Crystal Power!”
“Mars Crystal Power!”
“Jupiter Crystal Power!”
“Venus Crystal Power!”
“Uranus Crystal Power!”
“Neptune Crystal Power!”
“Pluto Crystal Power!”
“Moon Cosmic Dream Action!”
“Cosmic Moon Power!” I shouted. The power of the crystal combined with the scouts’ powers destroyed the Amazon Trio once and for all. Once they were destroyed, Darien’s dream energy reappeared. Once the crystal stopped glowing, it disappeared and I turned back into Sailor Moon. The scouts ran to my side.
“Give Darien back his dream energy and tell him that I love him,” I said. After those words, I was gone.
“Brittainy!” the scouts shouted.
“What should we do?” Sailor Venus asked.
“We have to give Darien his dream energy,” Sailor Mercury said. She then took the ball of dream energy and gave it back to Darien.
“Where’s Brittainy?” he asked as soon as he woke up. The scouts all hung their heads and looked towards my body, lying motionless on the ground.
“Brittainy! No!” Darien shouted and held my body close to his. “This can’t be happening.”
“She loved you very much, Darien,” Sailor Mercury said. “But, there’s no way to bring her back. The crystal is the source of her life and once it’s used up, she dies.”
“I just want to give her one last kiss,” Darien said as he bent down and kissed me. Once he pulled away, the empty space in my broach where the crystal was began to sparkle.
“What’s happening?” Darien asked,
“What do you mean?” Sailor Neptune asked.
“Her broach is sparkling,” Darien said.
“It may be that the power of love is restoring the crystal and Brittainy’s life,” Sailor Venus said. Just then, the crystal reappeared and I opened my eyes.
“Oh, Brittainy,” Darien said. “Thank God.”
“I guess the crystal isn’t impossible to recover after all,” Sailor Mercury said.
“Brittainy, are your friends the Sailor Scouts?” Darien asked. I then proceeded to tell him the entire story.
“That’s not the whole thing,” Artemis said as he and Luna came running up.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well, you know that you’re Alyssa’s future mother, right?” Luna said.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Well, Darien is Alyssa’s future father,” Luna said.
“Huh?!” Darien said. “You mean that Brittainy’s cousin is my daughter?!”
“She’s only my cousin to everyone else on Earth,” I said. “To us, she’s the future Moon Princess and I’m the future Queen of Earth.”
“You mean, that someday you and I will be king and queen of Earth?” Darien said to me.
“Yes,” I said.
“Wow! That’s some destiny,” Darien said.
“I just hope we’ll both be ready when the time comes,” I said.
“You will be,” Sailor Neptune said.
“Darien, now that you know our story, we will give you a special power, as well,” Luna said. She then created a red rose for him.
“What’s this for?” Darien asked.
“That’s a special rose that will transform you into Tuxedo Mask,” Luna said. “Your mission is to help the Sailor Scouts and protect them. All you do is hold it in the light of the moon.”
“Luna, did you and Artemis know all along that Darien was to become Tuxedo Mask?” I asked.
“Yes, we did,” Luna said. “We knew that Darien was Alyssa’s father, as well. But for some reason, we waited until now to tell him.”