Fic: Among Thorns (2/3)
Title: Among Thorns
Author: realmer06
Gift for: katieay
Summary: Two friends. Two families. One question. One fight. Three years of separation. When Rose and Scorpius are thrown together again, can they figure out what went wrong before it's too late to regain what they lost? And can either of them ever truly be satisfied with the answer?
Warnings: Some angry kissing and a little bit of language, but nothing to write home about. Also, this is coming to you in three parts because, as it turns out, I'm incapable of writing concisely!
Word Count: 13,366
Author's Note: This was written for katieay, who wanted a post-Hogwarts hook-up with a dose of angst. This started with her saying, "Perhaps they both take jobs at the Ministry and bump into each other a lot." I'm afraid I took that literally and ran with it!
As always, thanks ever so to my betas HeidiBug731 and Vanime for wading through this monster and fixing everything I did wrong. Also, inspiration credit has to go to LM Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables series (loosely) for the pattern of romance, and Diana Son's play Stop Kiss for the alternating time format.
Part the First
~~~~
Rose picked at her food as the never-ending sound of hundreds of students enjoying the Sorting Feast swept over her. She kept her eyes glued firmly on the plate in front of her, completely unable to enjoy herself. She'd made the mistake of looking up once, and the sight of her cousin James sitting two tables away had made her look back down immediately.
Ravenclaw. Here she sat, the first Weasley in who knew how many generations to be Sorted into a House other than Gryffindor. Glancing sideways, she scowled at Al, who was seated beside her, happily eating roast beef and not seeming to care in the slightest that he hadn't ended up in Gryffindor, like he hadn't heard any of the whispers that had flown around the Hall when Harry Potter's son had been put into Ravenclaw. Of course, the biggest shock of the evening had been when Draco Malfoy's had somehow landed himself there, too.
Not that she was upset to be there - part of her had really wanted to be in Ravenclaw because it seemed so much less terrifying than being in Gryffindor - but she wasn't at all looking forward to the letter she had to write home tonight.
On the other side of Al, Scorpius Malfoy was just as withdrawn as Rose, and was eating just as little. Finally, Al noticed - or, more likely, stopped pretending not to notice - his friends' uncharacteristic silences. He sat back on the bench and looked from Rose on his right to Scorpius on his left and back again. Then he sighed.
"Okay," he said in an undertone to the both of them. "On the train, worry number one was that we wouldn't all be in the same house. We are. And worry number two was that we wouldn't end up where we wanted to be, which, I might remind you, we all admitted was Ravenclaw. So what's up?" On either side of him, Rose and Scorpius sighed.
"I said I wouldn't mind Ravenclaw," Rose corrected in a hiss. "And I never expected to actually end up here!"
"Neither did I," added Scorpius in a sullen whisper. "Come on, Al. You heard them when the Hat called this house."
"But you said Slytherin was the last place you wanted to be!" Al insisted in Scorpius' direction. "And you were positively terrified of ending up in Gryffindor," he said to Rose. "Are you two telling me that you still thought you'd be put in those Houses?"
"Yes!" Rose and Scorpius said at the same time. Al looked back and forth between them, bewildered.
"May I ask for a clarification of the problem, because at the moment, I'm missing it."
"What's my dad gonna say?" Rose and Scorpius spoke once more in unison, sparing each other only the slightest startled glance. Al sighed.
"Look," he said to Rose. "It could be worse. You could have to tell him you were put in Slytherin." This didn't help; Rose hit him. Rubbing his shoulder with an exasperated glare in her direction, he turned to Scorpius. "You could have to tell your dad you got put in Gryffindor," he said, earning a very fierce glare from the blonde boy. Al sighed again, deeper this time, and turned back to his food. "I give up," he said in great exasperation, and went back to ignoring the both of them.
~~~~
Late that night, after her mother and brother had both gone to bed, Rose crept into her dad's study. She'd gotten back from her Tour only three week ago, and her parents had said there was no use in her trying to intern and look for a place of her own until the summer was over. She'd given a few token protests, but a part of her was very glad to not have to move out quite so soon. She'd enjoyed the Tour very much, but she'd missed her family a lot, much more than she'd thought she would.
There was a huge, overstuffed armchair that sat in front of the fire, a faded orange that clashed horribly with everything Weasley. Her mother hated it, which was why it had been relegated to her father's study, but Rose had always loved it. As a little girl, she used to sneak into the study late at night and curl up in that chair and read by the firelight. Her father had always caught her, but he'd never been very convincing in his scolding, and the fact that he'd never told her mother really proved that, at the very least, he didn't care that she was up past bedtime.
This was the chair she curled up in then, closing her eyes as she sank into its familiar embrace. She'd missed this chair.
It didn't take long for her father to appear. He often worked late into the night. She rested her head on the chair's arm as she heard the door open, and held her body still as he entered the room, completely absorbed in the papers he was reading. A small frown was marked between his eyebrows, and he muttered to himself as he crossed the carpet. Rose smiled.
"Hello, Daddy," she said softly. Her father's eyes snapped to hers, but he didn't really seem surprised to see her there.
"Hello, Rosie," he said, crossing the room to stand over her in mock sternness. "Isn't it past your bedtime?" Rose rolled her eyes, grinning.
"Yeah, because at 20, I really have a set bedtime." Her father shrugged as he took a seat on the footstool.
"You do have an early morning tomorrow," he pointed out. Rose shrugged.
"So do you," she said. "I'll get there in time for work." They sat there in the easy and comfortable silence that they had shared countless times before. Then, without really thinking about what she was going to say, Rose opened her mouth. "Dad, why didn't you tell me that Scorpius Malfoy was on your training squad?'
Part of her was surprised that she had asked the question, but another part knew that that particular question was why she had wandered down here tonight in the first place. Her dad's eyes flickered to hers; he was clearly taken aback by the question. His first instinct seemed to be to deny it - in fact, Rose couldn't help but smile at the panicked look on his face. "Relax, Dad, I'm not accusing you of anything," she reassured him.
"I'm just curious." He closed his mouth and lost the defensive, panicked look.
"Al told me you two had had a falling out," he said quietly. "I thought it might be easier if I just didn't mention it." Rose was torn between being exasperated at her cousin's foolishness and being touched at her father's sensitivity. She settled on a little of both.
"Al exaggerates," Rose muttered.
"Does he?" her father asked, not teasing or gently poking fun, but with the same mild curiosity she had just exhibited. She looked down at her hands in her lap, playing with the slightly fraying edge of her pajama top.
"We got into a little bit of an argument," she conceded reluctantly. "But that wasn't what -" She broke off with a sigh. "Al may not exaggerate, but he doesn't really know what he's talking about." Her father nodded, rubbing his neck.
"To be honest," he said, "I also didn't mention it at first because I didn't really expect him to last past the first couple weeks. Once he'd proved me wrong, it seemed too late to bring it up. Should I have? Brought it up, I mean?" Rose sighed and looked down at the rich red of the carpet, subconsciously tracing the faded, threadbare design of the arm of the chair.
"I don't know," she said finally. "Might have made running into him today a little less unexpected." Her father didn't seem to be surprised by that piece of information, so Rose was forced to assume he'd already heard. She tried to hide a grimace.
"I guess I assumed you'd already know," he said.
"I thought he was going into teaching," she admitted. Her father nodded.
"That was his cover. He didn't want anyone to know he'd applied to the Auror program if he didn't get in. He needn't have worried, of course." Rose hid a giggle at the disgusted but admiring look on her dad's face.
"Can't imagine you were too pleased with that," she said. He laughed.
"Thought your uncle had lost his mind," he admitted. "And I marched into his office and told him so."
"What did he say?" she asked with a slight smile.
"He told me that there was no earthly reason not to accept him into the program, and then he rather forcefully reminded me that we'd fought a war together to ensure that no one would be judged based on blood or name alone. Said he'd put Scorpius on my squad because he thought it would be good for the both of us." Her father sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "And he was right," he said. "I was determined to be completely fair and prove your uncle wrong, but I couldn't. Scorpius is dedicated and talented and hard-working. I may not like his father much, but he has won my respect. He's a good boy, and I've been privileged to be the one to train him."
Rose felt the smallest twinge at her father's words, one she didn't really want to explain or examine. Her father had accepted Scorpius Malfoy. She shook her head sharply. "But you didn't feel that way when I was friends with him, at school. You hated him then." Her father grimaced.
"I hated his father," he corrected gently. "And, yes, it carried over to him a little. But I didn't know then what I know now."
Rose nodded at that, comforted in a twisted way that felt wrong, somehow. But she was determined to let that be the end of the matter. Her father would never have accepted Scorpius three years ago, and that was that.
~~~~
"Rose!" came a voice, echoing across the crowded grounds. The seventeen-year-old Head Girl turned to see her best friend standing in the castle doorway, waving for her attention. She waved in response to let him know he had it. Smiling, he jogged down the steps toward her.
"What's up?" she asked once he was in earshot, shifting her books and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"I need to talk to you - privately," he added, glancing around. "Care for a walk around the lake?"
"All right," she said, smiling.
Scorpius was silent for most of the long walk, and it seemed to Rose that he was troubled about something. The late May afternoon was gorgeous, and many students, mostly those who didn't have to study for O.W.L's or N.E.W.T.'s, were taking advantage of the weather. It took them a while to find an isolated spot. "So?" Rose asked him once they had, halfway to the Forbidden Forest.
"So," he repeated, dragging out the word. Then he ran a hand through his hair and began to pace a little, clearly agitated. Rose frowned, puzzled. "I . . . don't really know how to say this," he finally admitted.
"Just say it," Rose said, with a little laugh that she hoped disguised the sudden, inexplicable nerves that had come over her. "Surely it can't be so -"
"I love you," he said in a rush. She stared at him, mouth open, her sentence dying on her lips. He licked his own lips and swallowed, looking down at his feet. "I'm . . . in love with you," he said in a softer tone.
Rose felt like she needed to say something, felt an almost desperate need to say something, but had no idea what it should be. "Scorpius . . ." she started, but he shook his head.
"I'm not - looking for any sort of answer," he said quickly. "Not right now. Don't feel like you have to give me one today. I'm not expecting anything in return. Really, Rose, I'm not." Almost on impulse, it seemed, he came over to her then, and took her limp hands in his, an action he had done countless times before that now gained so much more meaning. Rose was still trying to make her brain form coherent thoughts. "I just . . ." he whispered, looking down at their hands. "I wanted you to know. I've been sitting on it for a while now, because I thought it might be easier, but it felt too much like lying. I just wanted you to know. Your answer can wait." He looked up at her face then, and caught her blue eyes with his gray ones, and she couldn't look away. She couldn't even breathe properly.
She had to close her eyes. She had to. It was the only way she could - "Scorpius, I - I'm flattered," she whispered. "Really, I am." She risked opening her eyes then. He wasn't looking at her. He was looking deliberately away, a pained smile fixed on his face, as if he knew what was coming, what had to be coming. "I care about you more than anybody in the world," she said desperately. "You have to know that. It's not that I don't care about you." Without changing his expression, he finished the thought.
"But you don't feel the same way," he said quietly. Looking away, she shook her head. She heard him sigh, long and drawn out.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice hardly audible.
"No," he said firmly. "It's okay, Rose. I told you. I didn't expect anything from you. And if you don't feel the same, then you don't. It's not a problem." He looked and sounded as if he was willing himself to believe that. He tried very hard to smile then. "Still friends, then?" he asked. After a slight hesitation, she nodded.
"Of course," she said around the lump in her throat, and she tried to smile as well, and the both of them tried to pretend like everything really was all right.
"See you at supper?" Scorpius asked, and Rose nodded. He turned awkwardly and left then, and as soon as he was out of sight, Rose sat down hard in the grass at the lake's edge, shaking. She clenched her fists tightly together in her lap, Scorpius' voice ringing in her ears. You don't feel the same way . . .
She sat in the grass for a full hour after that, tears streaming silently down her face as she tried to convince herself that she hadn't just lied to the boy she'd been in love with for most of the past year.
~~~~
A week later, Rose was sitting at an outside table of the Leaky Cauldron, waiting for Al. He'd asked her to meet him for lunch when his shift at Mungo's was over, but he seemed to be running late. Rose looked up from her book, scanned the crowds passing by for the tenth time in the past half hour, looking for any sign of her cousin. Seeing none, she sighed and checked her watch. Then, with a shrug of annoyance, she went back to her reading. She'd gotten through another two and a half pages when she felt a presence beside her chair.
"Rose," said a smooth male voice behind her. She jumped and shut the book on her finger in her surprise. Easing her finger from between its pages, praying he hadn't seen, and mentally cursing herself, Rose turned in her chair to squint up at the form of Scorpius Malfoy.
"Scorpius," she said stiffly. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"I'm supposed to be meeting Al for lunch," Scorpius said formally. "He said to meet him here, but I haven't seen any sign of him." Rose narrowed her eyes, her mind already hard at work planning painful torture methods to inflict on her cousin later.
"That's odd," she said slowly, "because Al also told me to meet him here," and she glared in the direction of the hospital where her cousin was currently working.
"Ah," said Scorpius, apparently catching on. He slid into the seat next to Rose. "So, he isn't late, but rather ‘late'," he said, punctuating the last word with air quotes. Grimly, Rose nodded.
"My cousin is doing what he does best," Rose said. "Meddling." Scorpius nodded at that, and, for a moment, they were joined together in mutual irritation.
But the moment passed all too soon, and the silence that descended on the table was heavy and oppressive. Rose shut her eyes against it, cursing her cousin to high heaven.
"So, how was your first week?" Scorpius asked after a moment.
"Good," she said shortly. "I'm - really enjoying it."
"Good, that's, uh . . . that's good," was his response, and Rose felt a strong urge to kill Al. As if everything that had happened between her and Scorpius three years ago wasn't enough to be hanging between them every time they bumped into one another, she also had, courtesy of Al, encounters like this to deal with.
She cast around desperately for something to say. Then she remembered that he was as good as engaged.
"Tell me about your fiancé," she said finally, catching him off guard.
"What?" he asked, sounded stunned.
"Your fiancé," she repeated carefully. "Al said you were getting married."
"I'm not," was his immediate response. Rose arched an eyebrow.
"So there isn't going to be a Bonding Ceremony this summer?" Scorpius colored and looked away.
"Oh, that. Well, yes, there is, I suppose," he said awkwardly.
"So, tell me about the girl. What's her name?" Rose asked.
"Honoria," he said carefully. "Honoria Ridgeton."
"She's from England?" was the next question.
"Wales," Scorpius answered, watching her somewhat warily.
"Ah, so she didn't go to Hogwarts then."
"No, she was - educated at a small school in Wales," Scorpius said, frowning slightly. "You should meet her though; you'd like her." I'd like her?! Rose thought, suddenly extremely irritated with him.
"It's a wonder I've never heard you mention her before," she said coolly. "I mean, since this has been something you've known about for at least eighteen years, and I've known you ten of those." Scorpius cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable. Rose reveled in it.
"Rose, is there a problem?" he asked, his face set in a hard line. His voice, though, was mostly gentle, and made her feel a little ashamed. She looked away, suddenly wanting to cry. Stop it, she told herself fiercely.
"Sorry," she muttered. "It just . . . it came as a real shock."
"Well, you've been a little out of touch for the past three years," he pointed out. "A few things here and there were bound to escape your notice." Rose had a feeling there was a very carefully hidden jibe in there somewhere, but she really didn't want to look for it.
"This wasn't just the past three years, though, Scorpius," she said, her voice coming out a little strained. She looked up to meet his gaze. "I should have found out from you," she said quietly. "Not Al." He had the grace to look away at that, a little embarrassed. "He wanted to know what had ever happened between - you and me," she said then and immediately regretted it. The silence after her statement grew unbearably heavy and strained, and Rose couldn't quite bring herself to look up at him. "He didn't believe me when I told him nothing had," she said, trying to smile. "Probably what today is all about. You know Al." She glanced up at Scorpius, whose face was solemn, but otherwise entirely unreadable. Rose swallowed. She had no idea what had possessed her to bring this up. Some hidden masochistic tendency, probably.
"You said no, Rose," Scorpius said very softly, his voice guarded. "That's what happened." She met his eyes, then, which was a mistake. Time seemed to freeze. I wanted this, Rose reminded herself fiercely. She had no idea what to say next. Luckily, she didn't have to come up with anything.
"Ah, good! You're both here," came a voice from the street a few paces away. Rose and Scorpius both turned. Al was walking toward them, grinning widely. "Sorry I'm late. Things got backed up at Mungo's." Rose glared at him. Did he really think they'd believe that? "Shall we order, then?"
"Actually, no," Scorpius said quickly, rising. "I don't get a very long lunch break, Al, and I need to be getting back. We'll have to do this some other time." And with a tight smile, he disappeared into the crowd. Rose watched him go with a sinking heart.
"So, what did you two find to talk about?" Al asked a little too innocently as he sat in the seat Scorpius had just vacated. Rose glared at her cousin, disgusted with him. "What?" he asked. She just shook her head and stood, swinging her bag over her shoulder.
She walked away without a word, ignoring her cousin's protests.
~~~~
Part the Third
Author: realmer06
Gift for: katieay
Summary: Two friends. Two families. One question. One fight. Three years of separation. When Rose and Scorpius are thrown together again, can they figure out what went wrong before it's too late to regain what they lost? And can either of them ever truly be satisfied with the answer?
Warnings: Some angry kissing and a little bit of language, but nothing to write home about. Also, this is coming to you in three parts because, as it turns out, I'm incapable of writing concisely!
Word Count: 13,366
Author's Note: This was written for katieay, who wanted a post-Hogwarts hook-up with a dose of angst. This started with her saying, "Perhaps they both take jobs at the Ministry and bump into each other a lot." I'm afraid I took that literally and ran with it!
As always, thanks ever so to my betas HeidiBug731 and Vanime for wading through this monster and fixing everything I did wrong. Also, inspiration credit has to go to LM Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables series (loosely) for the pattern of romance, and Diana Son's play Stop Kiss for the alternating time format.
Part the First
~~~~
Rose picked at her food as the never-ending sound of hundreds of students enjoying the Sorting Feast swept over her. She kept her eyes glued firmly on the plate in front of her, completely unable to enjoy herself. She'd made the mistake of looking up once, and the sight of her cousin James sitting two tables away had made her look back down immediately.
Ravenclaw. Here she sat, the first Weasley in who knew how many generations to be Sorted into a House other than Gryffindor. Glancing sideways, she scowled at Al, who was seated beside her, happily eating roast beef and not seeming to care in the slightest that he hadn't ended up in Gryffindor, like he hadn't heard any of the whispers that had flown around the Hall when Harry Potter's son had been put into Ravenclaw. Of course, the biggest shock of the evening had been when Draco Malfoy's had somehow landed himself there, too.
Not that she was upset to be there - part of her had really wanted to be in Ravenclaw because it seemed so much less terrifying than being in Gryffindor - but she wasn't at all looking forward to the letter she had to write home tonight.
On the other side of Al, Scorpius Malfoy was just as withdrawn as Rose, and was eating just as little. Finally, Al noticed - or, more likely, stopped pretending not to notice - his friends' uncharacteristic silences. He sat back on the bench and looked from Rose on his right to Scorpius on his left and back again. Then he sighed.
"Okay," he said in an undertone to the both of them. "On the train, worry number one was that we wouldn't all be in the same house. We are. And worry number two was that we wouldn't end up where we wanted to be, which, I might remind you, we all admitted was Ravenclaw. So what's up?" On either side of him, Rose and Scorpius sighed.
"I said I wouldn't mind Ravenclaw," Rose corrected in a hiss. "And I never expected to actually end up here!"
"Neither did I," added Scorpius in a sullen whisper. "Come on, Al. You heard them when the Hat called this house."
"But you said Slytherin was the last place you wanted to be!" Al insisted in Scorpius' direction. "And you were positively terrified of ending up in Gryffindor," he said to Rose. "Are you two telling me that you still thought you'd be put in those Houses?"
"Yes!" Rose and Scorpius said at the same time. Al looked back and forth between them, bewildered.
"May I ask for a clarification of the problem, because at the moment, I'm missing it."
"What's my dad gonna say?" Rose and Scorpius spoke once more in unison, sparing each other only the slightest startled glance. Al sighed.
"Look," he said to Rose. "It could be worse. You could have to tell him you were put in Slytherin." This didn't help; Rose hit him. Rubbing his shoulder with an exasperated glare in her direction, he turned to Scorpius. "You could have to tell your dad you got put in Gryffindor," he said, earning a very fierce glare from the blonde boy. Al sighed again, deeper this time, and turned back to his food. "I give up," he said in great exasperation, and went back to ignoring the both of them.
~~~~
Late that night, after her mother and brother had both gone to bed, Rose crept into her dad's study. She'd gotten back from her Tour only three week ago, and her parents had said there was no use in her trying to intern and look for a place of her own until the summer was over. She'd given a few token protests, but a part of her was very glad to not have to move out quite so soon. She'd enjoyed the Tour very much, but she'd missed her family a lot, much more than she'd thought she would.
There was a huge, overstuffed armchair that sat in front of the fire, a faded orange that clashed horribly with everything Weasley. Her mother hated it, which was why it had been relegated to her father's study, but Rose had always loved it. As a little girl, she used to sneak into the study late at night and curl up in that chair and read by the firelight. Her father had always caught her, but he'd never been very convincing in his scolding, and the fact that he'd never told her mother really proved that, at the very least, he didn't care that she was up past bedtime.
This was the chair she curled up in then, closing her eyes as she sank into its familiar embrace. She'd missed this chair.
It didn't take long for her father to appear. He often worked late into the night. She rested her head on the chair's arm as she heard the door open, and held her body still as he entered the room, completely absorbed in the papers he was reading. A small frown was marked between his eyebrows, and he muttered to himself as he crossed the carpet. Rose smiled.
"Hello, Daddy," she said softly. Her father's eyes snapped to hers, but he didn't really seem surprised to see her there.
"Hello, Rosie," he said, crossing the room to stand over her in mock sternness. "Isn't it past your bedtime?" Rose rolled her eyes, grinning.
"Yeah, because at 20, I really have a set bedtime." Her father shrugged as he took a seat on the footstool.
"You do have an early morning tomorrow," he pointed out. Rose shrugged.
"So do you," she said. "I'll get there in time for work." They sat there in the easy and comfortable silence that they had shared countless times before. Then, without really thinking about what she was going to say, Rose opened her mouth. "Dad, why didn't you tell me that Scorpius Malfoy was on your training squad?'
Part of her was surprised that she had asked the question, but another part knew that that particular question was why she had wandered down here tonight in the first place. Her dad's eyes flickered to hers; he was clearly taken aback by the question. His first instinct seemed to be to deny it - in fact, Rose couldn't help but smile at the panicked look on his face. "Relax, Dad, I'm not accusing you of anything," she reassured him.
"I'm just curious." He closed his mouth and lost the defensive, panicked look.
"Al told me you two had had a falling out," he said quietly. "I thought it might be easier if I just didn't mention it." Rose was torn between being exasperated at her cousin's foolishness and being touched at her father's sensitivity. She settled on a little of both.
"Al exaggerates," Rose muttered.
"Does he?" her father asked, not teasing or gently poking fun, but with the same mild curiosity she had just exhibited. She looked down at her hands in her lap, playing with the slightly fraying edge of her pajama top.
"We got into a little bit of an argument," she conceded reluctantly. "But that wasn't what -" She broke off with a sigh. "Al may not exaggerate, but he doesn't really know what he's talking about." Her father nodded, rubbing his neck.
"To be honest," he said, "I also didn't mention it at first because I didn't really expect him to last past the first couple weeks. Once he'd proved me wrong, it seemed too late to bring it up. Should I have? Brought it up, I mean?" Rose sighed and looked down at the rich red of the carpet, subconsciously tracing the faded, threadbare design of the arm of the chair.
"I don't know," she said finally. "Might have made running into him today a little less unexpected." Her father didn't seem to be surprised by that piece of information, so Rose was forced to assume he'd already heard. She tried to hide a grimace.
"I guess I assumed you'd already know," he said.
"I thought he was going into teaching," she admitted. Her father nodded.
"That was his cover. He didn't want anyone to know he'd applied to the Auror program if he didn't get in. He needn't have worried, of course." Rose hid a giggle at the disgusted but admiring look on her dad's face.
"Can't imagine you were too pleased with that," she said. He laughed.
"Thought your uncle had lost his mind," he admitted. "And I marched into his office and told him so."
"What did he say?" she asked with a slight smile.
"He told me that there was no earthly reason not to accept him into the program, and then he rather forcefully reminded me that we'd fought a war together to ensure that no one would be judged based on blood or name alone. Said he'd put Scorpius on my squad because he thought it would be good for the both of us." Her father sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "And he was right," he said. "I was determined to be completely fair and prove your uncle wrong, but I couldn't. Scorpius is dedicated and talented and hard-working. I may not like his father much, but he has won my respect. He's a good boy, and I've been privileged to be the one to train him."
Rose felt the smallest twinge at her father's words, one she didn't really want to explain or examine. Her father had accepted Scorpius Malfoy. She shook her head sharply. "But you didn't feel that way when I was friends with him, at school. You hated him then." Her father grimaced.
"I hated his father," he corrected gently. "And, yes, it carried over to him a little. But I didn't know then what I know now."
Rose nodded at that, comforted in a twisted way that felt wrong, somehow. But she was determined to let that be the end of the matter. Her father would never have accepted Scorpius three years ago, and that was that.
~~~~
"Rose!" came a voice, echoing across the crowded grounds. The seventeen-year-old Head Girl turned to see her best friend standing in the castle doorway, waving for her attention. She waved in response to let him know he had it. Smiling, he jogged down the steps toward her.
"What's up?" she asked once he was in earshot, shifting her books and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"I need to talk to you - privately," he added, glancing around. "Care for a walk around the lake?"
"All right," she said, smiling.
Scorpius was silent for most of the long walk, and it seemed to Rose that he was troubled about something. The late May afternoon was gorgeous, and many students, mostly those who didn't have to study for O.W.L's or N.E.W.T.'s, were taking advantage of the weather. It took them a while to find an isolated spot. "So?" Rose asked him once they had, halfway to the Forbidden Forest.
"So," he repeated, dragging out the word. Then he ran a hand through his hair and began to pace a little, clearly agitated. Rose frowned, puzzled. "I . . . don't really know how to say this," he finally admitted.
"Just say it," Rose said, with a little laugh that she hoped disguised the sudden, inexplicable nerves that had come over her. "Surely it can't be so -"
"I love you," he said in a rush. She stared at him, mouth open, her sentence dying on her lips. He licked his own lips and swallowed, looking down at his feet. "I'm . . . in love with you," he said in a softer tone.
Rose felt like she needed to say something, felt an almost desperate need to say something, but had no idea what it should be. "Scorpius . . ." she started, but he shook his head.
"I'm not - looking for any sort of answer," he said quickly. "Not right now. Don't feel like you have to give me one today. I'm not expecting anything in return. Really, Rose, I'm not." Almost on impulse, it seemed, he came over to her then, and took her limp hands in his, an action he had done countless times before that now gained so much more meaning. Rose was still trying to make her brain form coherent thoughts. "I just . . ." he whispered, looking down at their hands. "I wanted you to know. I've been sitting on it for a while now, because I thought it might be easier, but it felt too much like lying. I just wanted you to know. Your answer can wait." He looked up at her face then, and caught her blue eyes with his gray ones, and she couldn't look away. She couldn't even breathe properly.
She had to close her eyes. She had to. It was the only way she could - "Scorpius, I - I'm flattered," she whispered. "Really, I am." She risked opening her eyes then. He wasn't looking at her. He was looking deliberately away, a pained smile fixed on his face, as if he knew what was coming, what had to be coming. "I care about you more than anybody in the world," she said desperately. "You have to know that. It's not that I don't care about you." Without changing his expression, he finished the thought.
"But you don't feel the same way," he said quietly. Looking away, she shook her head. She heard him sigh, long and drawn out.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice hardly audible.
"No," he said firmly. "It's okay, Rose. I told you. I didn't expect anything from you. And if you don't feel the same, then you don't. It's not a problem." He looked and sounded as if he was willing himself to believe that. He tried very hard to smile then. "Still friends, then?" he asked. After a slight hesitation, she nodded.
"Of course," she said around the lump in her throat, and she tried to smile as well, and the both of them tried to pretend like everything really was all right.
"See you at supper?" Scorpius asked, and Rose nodded. He turned awkwardly and left then, and as soon as he was out of sight, Rose sat down hard in the grass at the lake's edge, shaking. She clenched her fists tightly together in her lap, Scorpius' voice ringing in her ears. You don't feel the same way . . .
She sat in the grass for a full hour after that, tears streaming silently down her face as she tried to convince herself that she hadn't just lied to the boy she'd been in love with for most of the past year.
~~~~
A week later, Rose was sitting at an outside table of the Leaky Cauldron, waiting for Al. He'd asked her to meet him for lunch when his shift at Mungo's was over, but he seemed to be running late. Rose looked up from her book, scanned the crowds passing by for the tenth time in the past half hour, looking for any sign of her cousin. Seeing none, she sighed and checked her watch. Then, with a shrug of annoyance, she went back to her reading. She'd gotten through another two and a half pages when she felt a presence beside her chair.
"Rose," said a smooth male voice behind her. She jumped and shut the book on her finger in her surprise. Easing her finger from between its pages, praying he hadn't seen, and mentally cursing herself, Rose turned in her chair to squint up at the form of Scorpius Malfoy.
"Scorpius," she said stiffly. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"I'm supposed to be meeting Al for lunch," Scorpius said formally. "He said to meet him here, but I haven't seen any sign of him." Rose narrowed her eyes, her mind already hard at work planning painful torture methods to inflict on her cousin later.
"That's odd," she said slowly, "because Al also told me to meet him here," and she glared in the direction of the hospital where her cousin was currently working.
"Ah," said Scorpius, apparently catching on. He slid into the seat next to Rose. "So, he isn't late, but rather ‘late'," he said, punctuating the last word with air quotes. Grimly, Rose nodded.
"My cousin is doing what he does best," Rose said. "Meddling." Scorpius nodded at that, and, for a moment, they were joined together in mutual irritation.
But the moment passed all too soon, and the silence that descended on the table was heavy and oppressive. Rose shut her eyes against it, cursing her cousin to high heaven.
"So, how was your first week?" Scorpius asked after a moment.
"Good," she said shortly. "I'm - really enjoying it."
"Good, that's, uh . . . that's good," was his response, and Rose felt a strong urge to kill Al. As if everything that had happened between her and Scorpius three years ago wasn't enough to be hanging between them every time they bumped into one another, she also had, courtesy of Al, encounters like this to deal with.
She cast around desperately for something to say. Then she remembered that he was as good as engaged.
"Tell me about your fiancé," she said finally, catching him off guard.
"What?" he asked, sounded stunned.
"Your fiancé," she repeated carefully. "Al said you were getting married."
"I'm not," was his immediate response. Rose arched an eyebrow.
"So there isn't going to be a Bonding Ceremony this summer?" Scorpius colored and looked away.
"Oh, that. Well, yes, there is, I suppose," he said awkwardly.
"So, tell me about the girl. What's her name?" Rose asked.
"Honoria," he said carefully. "Honoria Ridgeton."
"She's from England?" was the next question.
"Wales," Scorpius answered, watching her somewhat warily.
"Ah, so she didn't go to Hogwarts then."
"No, she was - educated at a small school in Wales," Scorpius said, frowning slightly. "You should meet her though; you'd like her." I'd like her?! Rose thought, suddenly extremely irritated with him.
"It's a wonder I've never heard you mention her before," she said coolly. "I mean, since this has been something you've known about for at least eighteen years, and I've known you ten of those." Scorpius cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable. Rose reveled in it.
"Rose, is there a problem?" he asked, his face set in a hard line. His voice, though, was mostly gentle, and made her feel a little ashamed. She looked away, suddenly wanting to cry. Stop it, she told herself fiercely.
"Sorry," she muttered. "It just . . . it came as a real shock."
"Well, you've been a little out of touch for the past three years," he pointed out. "A few things here and there were bound to escape your notice." Rose had a feeling there was a very carefully hidden jibe in there somewhere, but she really didn't want to look for it.
"This wasn't just the past three years, though, Scorpius," she said, her voice coming out a little strained. She looked up to meet his gaze. "I should have found out from you," she said quietly. "Not Al." He had the grace to look away at that, a little embarrassed. "He wanted to know what had ever happened between - you and me," she said then and immediately regretted it. The silence after her statement grew unbearably heavy and strained, and Rose couldn't quite bring herself to look up at him. "He didn't believe me when I told him nothing had," she said, trying to smile. "Probably what today is all about. You know Al." She glanced up at Scorpius, whose face was solemn, but otherwise entirely unreadable. Rose swallowed. She had no idea what had possessed her to bring this up. Some hidden masochistic tendency, probably.
"You said no, Rose," Scorpius said very softly, his voice guarded. "That's what happened." She met his eyes, then, which was a mistake. Time seemed to freeze. I wanted this, Rose reminded herself fiercely. She had no idea what to say next. Luckily, she didn't have to come up with anything.
"Ah, good! You're both here," came a voice from the street a few paces away. Rose and Scorpius both turned. Al was walking toward them, grinning widely. "Sorry I'm late. Things got backed up at Mungo's." Rose glared at him. Did he really think they'd believe that? "Shall we order, then?"
"Actually, no," Scorpius said quickly, rising. "I don't get a very long lunch break, Al, and I need to be getting back. We'll have to do this some other time." And with a tight smile, he disappeared into the crowd. Rose watched him go with a sinking heart.
"So, what did you two find to talk about?" Al asked a little too innocently as he sat in the seat Scorpius had just vacated. Rose glared at her cousin, disgusted with him. "What?" he asked. She just shook her head and stood, swinging her bag over her shoulder.
She walked away without a word, ignoring her cousin's protests.
~~~~
Part the Third