guarenteed to blow your mind
ah the return from the ever-too-long hiatus. i guess. if you want to call it that. especially since everyone reading this has probably long stopped wondering what i've been up to lately. the usual summer answer to something like that is "i've been working a lot." but i haven't really. and i haven't been out getting crunk every night and i haven't been sitting at home watching reruns on vh1 all day long either. i have been coughing a lot. for i'd say about a month now. like being woken up at night cause you're suddenly sitting up in bed from hacking so hard. that kind of coughing.
and i never though i'd willingly be awake at eight o'clock in the morning, let alone writing in here. but i've been up for most of the night reading and i thought i'd take a little break from that for a little while and produce thoughts from my head rather than feed them in.
i have four very overdue library books. actually five. the shining by stephen king- read. alice's adventures in wonderland and through the looking glass by lewis carroll- not read. and i don't know if i ever will. i think i'm kinda over wanting to read that but i'll probably revisit it once i get through my book to-do list. slaughterhouse-five by kurt vonnegut- read. timequake by kurt vonnegut- read. twice. i actually read timequake a little while ago and then two nights ago i started slaughterhouse-five. i got about two-thirds of the way through it and was about to pick up where i left off last night... but then i decided to read timequake again. which took me till about four in the morning. i passed out right after and then woke up at seven way too awake and unable to sleep. i finished slaughterhouse and now here i am typing for some reason.
i think titilated is a good word. and you'll say "that's because it has 'tit' in it." which is exactly the point. that is exactly what makes it such a good word because that is what makes it funny. so why is that a bad or belittling thing?
i hate reading about infidelity. seeing it in movies or shows or whatever isn't as bad because with reading i can stop and think about it before i move on to the next paragraph. which isn't a good thing. and maybe it's ironic that it freaks me out or maybe it's just overkill. either way whenever i read about some man wanting to cheat on his wife it ties my stomach in knots. even if it's part of a joke. but there are definitely worse things in life. i'm not too worried about it.
on another note i think would have done splendidly living in either ancient greece or the seventies. except either way i would probably die prematurely from indulging in one thing or another far too much. except who's to say that's not going to happen anyway.
and there is so much family drama which i would usually ignore but family drama become workplace drama which means i have to deal with it on a daily basis.
my dad is the youngest of five. this means that for a really long time it was just him living with his parents after his brothers and sisters had moved out. my grandmother used to work pretty late so that left my dad and my grandpa. in the days after his child-rearing duties were over, it wasn't uncommon for him to stop to have some drinks on the way home from work... which is what my dad came home to every day. i mean i don't know how it really was. my dad never really told me those stories. but my mom has pretty much said that he had to put up with a lot of shit and that my grandpa was pretty just an asshole to him. so now some thirty years later my grandpa is OLD. you'd think between five kids it wouldn't be that hard to find someone to help him, but one of my aunts lives in florida and there's one uncle in massachusetts. so things are trying to be done but everyone is busy with their lives and my dad is so reluctant to do anything to help his dad because i guess he kinda just lost all respect for him. i understand that part. and now everyone is getting ticked off cause they feel like he's not pitching in. which he's not. but i can totally see where he's coming from and my extended family gossips way too much for their own good. but i feel like we're on the verge of something big happening.
i used to have tissues in my room.
i also think it's pretty cool that i can sit in my bed on my laptop and only read about people being tortured without ever actually having to really worry about dying by having spikes slowly nailed into you after having all your fingernails ripped off and breaking all your limbs one by one. or some other ridiculous thing like that. some people are just born into the wrong situation and there's nothing they can do about it.
i wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
i feel my fate in what i cannot fear.
i learn by going where i have to go.
(taken from kurt vonnegut who took it from theodore roethke. but the point is i feel like a could write five pages about each of those lines.)
and so on.
and i never though i'd willingly be awake at eight o'clock in the morning, let alone writing in here. but i've been up for most of the night reading and i thought i'd take a little break from that for a little while and produce thoughts from my head rather than feed them in.
i have four very overdue library books. actually five. the shining by stephen king- read. alice's adventures in wonderland and through the looking glass by lewis carroll- not read. and i don't know if i ever will. i think i'm kinda over wanting to read that but i'll probably revisit it once i get through my book to-do list. slaughterhouse-five by kurt vonnegut- read. timequake by kurt vonnegut- read. twice. i actually read timequake a little while ago and then two nights ago i started slaughterhouse-five. i got about two-thirds of the way through it and was about to pick up where i left off last night... but then i decided to read timequake again. which took me till about four in the morning. i passed out right after and then woke up at seven way too awake and unable to sleep. i finished slaughterhouse and now here i am typing for some reason.
i think titilated is a good word. and you'll say "that's because it has 'tit' in it." which is exactly the point. that is exactly what makes it such a good word because that is what makes it funny. so why is that a bad or belittling thing?
i hate reading about infidelity. seeing it in movies or shows or whatever isn't as bad because with reading i can stop and think about it before i move on to the next paragraph. which isn't a good thing. and maybe it's ironic that it freaks me out or maybe it's just overkill. either way whenever i read about some man wanting to cheat on his wife it ties my stomach in knots. even if it's part of a joke. but there are definitely worse things in life. i'm not too worried about it.
on another note i think would have done splendidly living in either ancient greece or the seventies. except either way i would probably die prematurely from indulging in one thing or another far too much. except who's to say that's not going to happen anyway.
and there is so much family drama which i would usually ignore but family drama become workplace drama which means i have to deal with it on a daily basis.
my dad is the youngest of five. this means that for a really long time it was just him living with his parents after his brothers and sisters had moved out. my grandmother used to work pretty late so that left my dad and my grandpa. in the days after his child-rearing duties were over, it wasn't uncommon for him to stop to have some drinks on the way home from work... which is what my dad came home to every day. i mean i don't know how it really was. my dad never really told me those stories. but my mom has pretty much said that he had to put up with a lot of shit and that my grandpa was pretty just an asshole to him. so now some thirty years later my grandpa is OLD. you'd think between five kids it wouldn't be that hard to find someone to help him, but one of my aunts lives in florida and there's one uncle in massachusetts. so things are trying to be done but everyone is busy with their lives and my dad is so reluctant to do anything to help his dad because i guess he kinda just lost all respect for him. i understand that part. and now everyone is getting ticked off cause they feel like he's not pitching in. which he's not. but i can totally see where he's coming from and my extended family gossips way too much for their own good. but i feel like we're on the verge of something big happening.
i used to have tissues in my room.
i also think it's pretty cool that i can sit in my bed on my laptop and only read about people being tortured without ever actually having to really worry about dying by having spikes slowly nailed into you after having all your fingernails ripped off and breaking all your limbs one by one. or some other ridiculous thing like that. some people are just born into the wrong situation and there's nothing they can do about it.
i wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
i feel my fate in what i cannot fear.
i learn by going where i have to go.
(taken from kurt vonnegut who took it from theodore roethke. but the point is i feel like a could write five pages about each of those lines.)
and so on.