Another Bad Breakup
So, sorry I haven't logged on in a few days everybody. I've got people coming to my house tomorrow to hook me up with internet, so (cross your fingers) I should be signing on tomorrow night. :)
To catch you up to speed: Bryan said he would like to keep seeing me, but he still moved out. Then, a couple of days later, he let me know in no uncertain terms, in a very cold and unkind way, that he never wanted to see me again. I said ok. He's supposed to be going to my house this evening while I am in class to get the remainder of his things. Hopefully he will be able to get all of his stuff today.
As for me, I am dealing the best I can. Sh*t happens and you just gotta roll with the punches. I'll get over it. I miss him, and I think about him alot, but that will pass with time. I'm trying as much to get over the things he said the other night as I am to actually get over him. Yeah, it was that bad, at least to me it was.
If he honestly feels the way he said he did (and I assume he does), then he's right, we should most definately break up and not see each other and not talk. I don't even want to be around someone who feels that way towards me and thinks of me in that manner, even as a friend. and Bryan is such a seedy and deceitful person, I don't see how I could ever keep someone like that as a friend. Bryan only keeps people in his life that he can benefit from in some way. I have nothing left to give him, and do not intend to expend another ounce of energy on making him happy, so yeah, this is for the best.
He compared me to an ex boyfriend of mine. He suggested that I go back out with this other guy that I broke up with b/c he was so "in love" with me. I responded:"Are you insane? He was f*cked in the head. He started saying he loved me two weeks after he met me. He was a leach and a sponge. Not to mention the fact that he was only 19. He was a kid, and I have a son. It took me forever to get rid of him, he was a thorn in my side!"
He said: "Good. Now you know how I feel."
Some other things he said:
"You're too young and immature for me."
"We're two different people, our lives are headed in two different directions."
"You're just not the type of girl I could fall in love with."
"If we stay together I'll end up cheating on you just to drive you away."
And of course he repeated and reiterated these points over and over again. I didn't get much of an opportunity to talk, he was yelling and he was drunk and going on and on and on.
All of these things were really hurtful to me. Especially that he feels that I am beneath him in terms of maturity and that he feels that I am a thorn in his side and he would cheat on me just to get me to go away. I mean that extreme is certainly not necessary. He was the one who said we should keep dating and "see where things go", so I mistakenly took him at face value on that. I didn't realize I was such a nusance. But I do know. Not a nusance he will have to deal with anymore though.
And so yeah, that's it, I'm done. It took 5 long island iced teas for me to get the point. I would like to reiterate though, I really did not realize that he saw me as so far beneath him and that I was such a nusance to him. Anyway, as I already said, anyone who feels that way about me, well I don't want someone like that in my life at all, even as a friend. I'm sorry to myself that I did not break up with him sooner.
I don't know if ever liked me as much as he claimed or if it was just about money and convenience. It looks to me like it was more about money and convenience. I mean, he broke up with me as soon as he started making some money at a new job. And no, he hasn't given me any money. He said he would, but you know as well as I do that I will see that money when I see snowballs in hell.
I'm jumping back and forth from kicking myself to missing him to remembering everything he said that night to remembering about the money to kicking myself again. It's a vicious cycle. By the end of the semester I will be over it, I think.
Also, I'm on happy pills now. Maybe the world will be a safer place for unbearable human beings now. I haven't noticed too much of a difference, but the doc said they may take a few weeks or they may not work at all and we may have to try something else. We'll see.
I'm still looking for a job. Wish me luck.
Hope everyone is doing well! :)
To catch you up to speed: Bryan said he would like to keep seeing me, but he still moved out. Then, a couple of days later, he let me know in no uncertain terms, in a very cold and unkind way, that he never wanted to see me again. I said ok. He's supposed to be going to my house this evening while I am in class to get the remainder of his things. Hopefully he will be able to get all of his stuff today.
As for me, I am dealing the best I can. Sh*t happens and you just gotta roll with the punches. I'll get over it. I miss him, and I think about him alot, but that will pass with time. I'm trying as much to get over the things he said the other night as I am to actually get over him. Yeah, it was that bad, at least to me it was.
If he honestly feels the way he said he did (and I assume he does), then he's right, we should most definately break up and not see each other and not talk. I don't even want to be around someone who feels that way towards me and thinks of me in that manner, even as a friend. and Bryan is such a seedy and deceitful person, I don't see how I could ever keep someone like that as a friend. Bryan only keeps people in his life that he can benefit from in some way. I have nothing left to give him, and do not intend to expend another ounce of energy on making him happy, so yeah, this is for the best.
He compared me to an ex boyfriend of mine. He suggested that I go back out with this other guy that I broke up with b/c he was so "in love" with me. I responded:"Are you insane? He was f*cked in the head. He started saying he loved me two weeks after he met me. He was a leach and a sponge. Not to mention the fact that he was only 19. He was a kid, and I have a son. It took me forever to get rid of him, he was a thorn in my side!"
He said: "Good. Now you know how I feel."
Some other things he said:
"You're too young and immature for me."
"We're two different people, our lives are headed in two different directions."
"You're just not the type of girl I could fall in love with."
"If we stay together I'll end up cheating on you just to drive you away."
And of course he repeated and reiterated these points over and over again. I didn't get much of an opportunity to talk, he was yelling and he was drunk and going on and on and on.
All of these things were really hurtful to me. Especially that he feels that I am beneath him in terms of maturity and that he feels that I am a thorn in his side and he would cheat on me just to get me to go away. I mean that extreme is certainly not necessary. He was the one who said we should keep dating and "see where things go", so I mistakenly took him at face value on that. I didn't realize I was such a nusance. But I do know. Not a nusance he will have to deal with anymore though.
And so yeah, that's it, I'm done. It took 5 long island iced teas for me to get the point. I would like to reiterate though, I really did not realize that he saw me as so far beneath him and that I was such a nusance to him. Anyway, as I already said, anyone who feels that way about me, well I don't want someone like that in my life at all, even as a friend. I'm sorry to myself that I did not break up with him sooner.
I don't know if ever liked me as much as he claimed or if it was just about money and convenience. It looks to me like it was more about money and convenience. I mean, he broke up with me as soon as he started making some money at a new job. And no, he hasn't given me any money. He said he would, but you know as well as I do that I will see that money when I see snowballs in hell.
I'm jumping back and forth from kicking myself to missing him to remembering everything he said that night to remembering about the money to kicking myself again. It's a vicious cycle. By the end of the semester I will be over it, I think.
Also, I'm on happy pills now. Maybe the world will be a safer place for unbearable human beings now. I haven't noticed too much of a difference, but the doc said they may take a few weeks or they may not work at all and we may have to try something else. We'll see.
I'm still looking for a job. Wish me luck.
Hope everyone is doing well! :)