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Maybe I just couldn't deal with the disappointment again so soon. I mean, I had just had the greatest disappointment of my life. Maybe, it was just too soon for me to be able to deal with another one. Even though I knew in the beginning, and still know now, that it could never work. In spite of the inevitable outcome, maybe psychologically I found
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My mother has a saying you lye down with pigs you will smell like a pig.
Our past is not an excuse to repeat the same mistakes and bad behavouirs. We either learn from our past or we are destined to repeat it.
After a year I think the jury is still out on which way you will go. Although you are more than intelligant enough to reconize when you are in a bad situation Im not sure (and please dont take this badly)that you are emotionally mature enough to do anything differnt.
You should be embracing the love you get from your son first and formost and rest will come in time.
Some of your pain is self-inflicted
I think you are trying way to hard to put yourself back in a permanent relationship and are not taking the time to find out enough about the people you are dating to make good choices as to are they worthy of being part of you and your sons life.
I think your at one of those crossroads in life that the wrong decision could take years to reverse or the right one might be the slow steady calm path that will lead you were you want to be.
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