Justin's journal got me thinkin...

[smp0317]

I have noticed more and more in my life how scared I am of God's plan for my life. I like to be near the perfect plan for my life, but if I'm living that perfect plan theres too many ways for me to mess up. I would have too much responsibility. If I was living the perfect life the littlest imperfection would ruin that, and where I'm at now I can overlook those imperfections, but as God draws us closer to Him those imperfections will be burned away. That's what I'm scared of. Darkness (our sinful nature) never embraces light, it only flees from it. When you get to that place you start to realize that His perfect plan for your life doesn't include a perfect person, He uses imperfect people all the time. It's crazy how many of these oxymorons are in the Bible. Like whoever loses his life for ME will save it. So now I'm at the place where I put too much emphasis on a relationship and I know that if I just TRULY gave it ALL up to God, then all would be right. So if I give up will I succeed?

Psalm 61:1-4
1 Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
2 From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
3 For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.
4 I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.