The Party: Part 5
Alright, I finished part 5. Woo! So far this is my longest series yet. It's gonna get pretty interesting. Anyways, I'm sorry about the shortness of this but I'm pretty pressed for time lately. It might be written better than the last one but I'm not sure. I kinda hurried on this one too. *Sigh* Oh, and be prepared for a lot of depression, mental issues, and a bit of reckless behavior. There will be a lot more of that in part 6 though. Once again, italics are for thoughts. Okay, here it is!
Title: The Party (Part 5)
Pairings: More of Ian's hope for Ian/Anthony
Rating: I'd say PG-13 for swearing and drug use
Summary: Ian continues to travel down the dark road of depression, battling with his own emotions and forming a plan along the way.
Previous chapters:
Part one http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/2555.html
Part two http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/2744.html
Part three http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/2944.html
Part four http://smosh4ever.livejournal.com/3164.html
Anthony hasn't been here for almost three weeks.
I sat on the floor next to my bed. In my hands was my favorite picture of me and Anthony. It was taken a few months ago when we went on vacation. We looked so happy. He smiled up at me from the small photo, his teeth perfectly straight and white. I always loved his smile. But he isn't smiling anymore, and neither am I. I made sure of that when I fucking kissed him at that stupid party. God Ian, you're such an idiot. Why can't you do anything right? You ruined everything! I felt anger bubbling up inside me as I scolded my self over and over. He ran away and it's all my fault. My fucking fault. I always seem to screw everything up. Ugh! I threw the picture against the wall. The frame broke and the pieces of glass shattered all over the floor. Damnit.
I stood up and walked out of the room, stepping over the mess. I don't give a fuck. It's not like I'm going to have company later.
He's not coming back is he?
No, don't say that.
But he isn't.
You don't know that!
Just shut up. You ruined everything. He doesn't want you and you know it. He isn't coming back.
No! That can't be true! He loves me! Well.. Like a brother anyways...
See? He won't ever feel the same way about you. So why bother?
But...
Just accept the fact that you lost him. Accept it and move on.
My eyes tightened as I thought about this. Look at yourself, Ian. You're having a frickin conversation with yourself in your head. Don't you think that's fucked up? He did this to you. He walked out. He left. He doesn't care about you. So just forget about him. You'll be better off.
I don't need him.
And with that, I grabbed my coat and walked out the front door, a new plan already forming in my mind.