Lionel Richie strokes off donkeys in hell!
Well, unrelated to my journal title, Erin and I celebrate ONE YEAR of marriage today. It seems like 1 month. The house has a roof. Sorry about the lack of updates. I'm keeping up on reading about YOUR lives though, so keep posting.
Here's a blog I just wrote for myspace tonight. Hope you enjoy!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks to my dirty tramp friend, Melissa posting a Lionel Richie video, I've been thrust into the responsibility of listing the ugliest men and women in music history. Lionel Richie DOES make the list. But there have been worse.
#10. Iggy Pop
(old Iggy)
(young Iggy)
Both pictures are very different. In the pic of old Iggy, he's more ripped. In the cover pic of young Iggy, he's wearing eyeliner. Both pictures share one thing in common though. He's fucking ugly.
#9. Flava Flav
The fact that this guy has a show dedicated to him where women try to hook up with him HAS to be some kind of crime. The fact that I found him wearing a Knicks clock SOMEHOW makes him even shittier. I think he should actually be number three. Oh well. Onward we go.
#8. Billy Corgan
Hey, Billy. Powder called. He said thanks for ripping off his short-bus, ugly-assed image. Oh, and good job having sex with Courtney Love, too. Now you can't get laid because (a) you're repulsive looking and (b) you have genital warts with genital herpes on top of the warts.
#7. (tie) Steven Tyler and Mick Jagger
These dudes tied because the size of their mouths is what makes them both so heinously ugly. If these two bands toured together, they could save thousands of dollars in gasoline. There'd be no need for a tour bus. Each band would just climb into their respective singer's mouths and they could walk to the next venue.
#6. Lionel Richie
I told you this is how this all started. He's got Leonardo DiCaprio's thin mustache, Diana Ross' puffy hair and Patrick Ewing's nose. That's a deadly combination. My favorite thing about Lionel is that, somehow, they found a way to make the clay bust in the HELLO video EVEN UGLIER than he is in real life.
I didn't think that was possible.
#5. Grace Jones
Whoops. Apparently, I accidentally posted a picture of Wesley Snipes instead. I'll fix that later.
#4. Devin Townsend
As you can see from this picture, he should ACTUALLY be number one on this list. It's just that he's not really a very well known musician. In fact, in an ironic twist, he's the lead singer and songwriter for a band called STRAPPING YOUNG LAD. He MUST have a sense of humor.
#3. Lemmy
Actually, the mole alone is all you need. I made this pic HUGE just so you could see that pus-filled beast up close and personal. Some people get beat with the ugly stick early in life. Lemmy was getting poked by the ugly stick whilst in the womb.
#2. Billy Joel
This guy has been married to a supermodel. In fact, he's been with several hot ladies in his day. But, just to let you know, no special effort was needed to crack that window he's standing in front of in this old pic. His reflection did the dirty work.
#1. Everybody in the original lineup for KISS
Seriously, I'd have listed them individually, but they'd have hogged up 40% of my list here. Paul Stanley, Gene Simmon, Peter Criss and Ace Frehley wore makeup not because of the stage show, but because they HAD to. No one would've listened to them if they'd have had to look at their actual faces. Remember when they quit wearing the makeup for about 10-12 years. Yep. Not too many people at their shows. Because instead of Gene spitting blood, people were spewing vomit because they had to look at all of that shitty hair, poofed out around cratered faces rivaled only by Brian Adams (shit..he should be on this list, too...too late now). These guys want to rock and roll all night and be fucking gross looking every day.
Here's a blog I just wrote for myspace tonight. Hope you enjoy!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks to my dirty tramp friend, Melissa posting a Lionel Richie video, I've been thrust into the responsibility of listing the ugliest men and women in music history. Lionel Richie DOES make the list. But there have been worse.
#10. Iggy Pop
(old Iggy)
(young Iggy)
Both pictures are very different. In the pic of old Iggy, he's more ripped. In the cover pic of young Iggy, he's wearing eyeliner. Both pictures share one thing in common though. He's fucking ugly.
#9. Flava Flav
The fact that this guy has a show dedicated to him where women try to hook up with him HAS to be some kind of crime. The fact that I found him wearing a Knicks clock SOMEHOW makes him even shittier. I think he should actually be number three. Oh well. Onward we go.
#8. Billy Corgan
Hey, Billy. Powder called. He said thanks for ripping off his short-bus, ugly-assed image. Oh, and good job having sex with Courtney Love, too. Now you can't get laid because (a) you're repulsive looking and (b) you have genital warts with genital herpes on top of the warts.
#7. (tie) Steven Tyler and Mick Jagger
These dudes tied because the size of their mouths is what makes them both so heinously ugly. If these two bands toured together, they could save thousands of dollars in gasoline. There'd be no need for a tour bus. Each band would just climb into their respective singer's mouths and they could walk to the next venue.
#6. Lionel Richie
I told you this is how this all started. He's got Leonardo DiCaprio's thin mustache, Diana Ross' puffy hair and Patrick Ewing's nose. That's a deadly combination. My favorite thing about Lionel is that, somehow, they found a way to make the clay bust in the HELLO video EVEN UGLIER than he is in real life.
I didn't think that was possible.
#5. Grace Jones
Whoops. Apparently, I accidentally posted a picture of Wesley Snipes instead. I'll fix that later.
#4. Devin Townsend
As you can see from this picture, he should ACTUALLY be number one on this list. It's just that he's not really a very well known musician. In fact, in an ironic twist, he's the lead singer and songwriter for a band called STRAPPING YOUNG LAD. He MUST have a sense of humor.
#3. Lemmy
Actually, the mole alone is all you need. I made this pic HUGE just so you could see that pus-filled beast up close and personal. Some people get beat with the ugly stick early in life. Lemmy was getting poked by the ugly stick whilst in the womb.
#2. Billy Joel
This guy has been married to a supermodel. In fact, he's been with several hot ladies in his day. But, just to let you know, no special effort was needed to crack that window he's standing in front of in this old pic. His reflection did the dirty work.
#1. Everybody in the original lineup for KISS
Seriously, I'd have listed them individually, but they'd have hogged up 40% of my list here. Paul Stanley, Gene Simmon, Peter Criss and Ace Frehley wore makeup not because of the stage show, but because they HAD to. No one would've listened to them if they'd have had to look at their actual faces. Remember when they quit wearing the makeup for about 10-12 years. Yep. Not too many people at their shows. Because instead of Gene spitting blood, people were spewing vomit because they had to look at all of that shitty hair, poofed out around cratered faces rivaled only by Brian Adams (shit..he should be on this list, too...too late now). These guys want to rock and roll all night and be fucking gross looking every day.