(no subject)
im really tired of being this big, fucking mystery to everyone. im sick of being nothing, and im tired of getting to the point where i want to die. i just broke down listening to sarah mclaughlin and downed the rest of my pucker. im so sick of life, of everything, i realize i live from day to day, from minute to minute, i have so set direction. its like i wander aimlessly, i see what i wanna see, and i hear what i wanna hear. im tired of hating myself, and crying like i fucking have something to cry about.
ok when you love someone, and you lose the love, why is it human nature to butcher what there is left? i know when i love, i take it for all it is, i think that's the right thing to do. but i dont agree with how i take my relationships, and try to fix them when i know damn well they are unfixable. i hate trying to be everyone's friend all the time.
i really hope what i need is to get the fuck out of here, becuase that what ive been looking foward to since i was 9. if it's not, im so very fucked. im afraid of not amounting to anything. and if i am something, im afraid of not being able to keep up with it. why can't i be somebody else?
ok when you love someone, and you lose the love, why is it human nature to butcher what there is left? i know when i love, i take it for all it is, i think that's the right thing to do. but i dont agree with how i take my relationships, and try to fix them when i know damn well they are unfixable. i hate trying to be everyone's friend all the time.
i really hope what i need is to get the fuck out of here, becuase that what ive been looking foward to since i was 9. if it's not, im so very fucked. im afraid of not amounting to anything. and if i am something, im afraid of not being able to keep up with it. why can't i be somebody else?