why do i go through this bull****
well today must have been one of the worst days ive had in the longest, i wake up and get into a fight with my dad before i leave the house for school..isnt that a hot way to start out the day, i tell u i highly recommend it. so i get to school and we finish making our banana creme pie, and i tell you that it was awesome, really awesome, lol i think im gunna make one for myself over the thanksgiving break or w.e u wanna call it, but ya, ill have to be busy doin somethin so i dont have to be around 'them' but anyways, umm i get to third and i look on the cell and i see an interestin message, and im like oo boy what the heck is this..rod was mad at me, but i didnt know it cuz he was shieldin it from me, which is a good tactic i guess, but oo boy he showed it later...but umm i get to lunch and had was amused by my boy brolley..that kid is stinkin awesome lol, so i get done and go to the library and get done wit some last minute college stuff, i am so HAPPY to get away from all of this soon, no more parents, retarted friends, and just this f*ed life that ive been put into..il just leave all of my heartache back here..well thats what id llike to believe, probably wont though, ill probably drag all of that mess along with me though out my life, screwin up everythin that could possibly give me any happiness, but anywho..umm time flies and i get home and i call rod and basically..we arent friends anymore over some girl that was lyin to him..and hes not friends wit me anymore becuz i didnt tell him everythin bout her, cuz i knew she was lyin to him..well had the idea that she was but i didnt know what so i wanted to figure it all out before i told him, to just be sure and evidently that was wrong, but then if i told him that she was lyin to him bout somethin and she actually wasnt, then that wouldve been s*** too, so im like..i was basically cursed if i did or if i didnt..but whatever, all good things come to an end, but w.e...and now i feel even worse thinkin bout all of this..he was my stinkin best friend for goodness sake..wtf..over some da** tramp..god, can this be anymore pathetic..but umm i was so angry, pissed, f*ed up, sad..the whole package but i didnt have any time to really express it, well all but the depressed part..but i did get to talk to bek while i was goin thru my depression mood swing..i swear that girl is nothin but a blessing!! i tell u i can never say it too much how much i love that girl! i stinkin love that girl! lol and its so interestin how she sees through me, like the very first thing i said she knew or somethin..and just talkin to her made me so happy..its like she just knows exactly what to say and everythin to make me get thru all of this crap..i actually trust her unlike everyone else in this world that i know and came across, lol i even told her some stuff...but we arent gunna go there, lets just say she knows more bout my past then anyone else..and im happy that its her that does, shes like my heart.. i tell u shes like my only true friend, lol and got a lil friend wit benefits thing goin on there too..lol well more then a lil but we arent gettin into the private stuff lol (shed probably be not to happy wit her lil boy lol)...lol and babe, i dont think red ever looked so good ;) hahahahahhaha...lol just think and ull remember, hahaha that was the best time ever!!!!! thanks so much for that babe.i thought bout it all day at work after i left...lol even tho it wasnt benefitial at all..lol i was tryin to had not think of that, tryin to think of other things like baseball and clouds and such lol..lol didnt work to well lol, but again we arent gunna talk bout that lol...but after i stopped talkin to my chica..lol and i didnt want to leave, she was like pushin me to get off cuz she knew i had to go...so i had to leave my cutie lol..went and jumped in the shower, and i didnt even have enough time to do my hair..and man it really looked like crap to me, oo well lol..but so anyways i get to work and as i was was drivin by before i got in the parkin lot i looked and it was so stinkin crowded..i was like oo s***, lol and i started to think of the song..my neck, my back..even though it wasnt the same 'meanin' , its just that i feel really screwed up after work sometimes, cuz my neck and my back is all messed up...lol and oo boy, those f*in shoes i gotta wear are so screwed up, but whatever..so anyways i get in and this really hot blond girl opened the door and had on the biggest smile, and i was like oo h*** ya, lol a real hottie, hahahaha, but of course i ran by to get the card and run to the back to fix up real quick before i started my awesome night..but um i get in the back and julianna with her HEY SNOOKUMS..lol i was like snookums?, i guess i was updated from sweetie or somethin lol..lol hopefully soon ill be updated to a hug..wink wink hahahahhha but anyways (dont mind me corny jokes, im in a real good mood now i think, cuz of work and my girl bek earlier..lol well a really good mood from her lol) but umm i get back to the front and amberlie and that girl were standin there..lol and it was funny because amberlie couldnt finish introducing her before she buts in and does it herself, and her name is erin...so i guess theres another number 2..lol dont ask...but anyways she was really kick a**, and omg i wouldve never expected her to be umm (cant remember her name)'s sister..lol they look and act so different lol but anyways, hahaha and what the heck, ive noticed that ive turned into a big flirt or somethin, prob since ive been single from like may was it?..and i guess im just ready for somethin..lol so maybe thats why, dont know? lol but umm the number 2s were just a lil flirty lol...but then john pops up and i was like NO GO BACK HOME!! lol, lol but then i was like ehh w.e, amberlie is here to so whats another person, oo but omg i felt so stinkin defiled hahahaaha, well this is what happened, this group of girls came in and id say that their average together was like a 7...but anyways they were in the 60s i think and i was busin a table across from them and of course i try to do it as quickly as i can since craig just loves the way i do it lol..but umm i guess i was bendin over a lil much or somethin cuz after i was done the table called me over and said, and i quote "u did a good job on that table, and it was hot watchin you...(pointin at the other table that was gunna be leaving soon) can u let us watch you do that table too?" lol i didnt know what to think lol, lol should i have been honored or been like my vice principal at madison middle with his famous SEXUAL HARRASSMENT (lol and mind u mispronouncin it lol) but ya..lol i was in a good mood so i was like what the h***, why not lol...i think john was tryin to figure out why i did that one and insisted he leave it so i could clean it and put the dishes up to lol..i so hope he didnt realize it hahhahahhaha..what an odd nite lol, and three bdays..haha and amberlie told me i had to take the test wit pretty girl (erin marie somethin lol..lol i remembered 2 parts of her name..go me lol) but erin had my back..lol she asked amberlie to take her home, i was like anythin, anythin u just name it, ill pay u back ;) hahaha, but ya it was a cool nite at work and now im just sittin here and talkin to some people and actually pretty girl oo and this girl lauren at school i just met...lol i think i put her in an earlier entry, not sure, but ya..oo and halverson is really crackin me up lol but ya that was my day