Here we were
Here we are, you and I
Where we've been, where we're going
The leaves crash to the ground, the place we once stood together
We're not there anymore, we're not anywhere anymore
The leaves are the same, the spot is the same
Not a single thing out of place
The world didn't stop, nothing is different
Here we were, you and I
Poker was good. I won. Went to Asian Michaels afterwards and we talked for a few hours at a park, over some coffee and cigarettes. Well mainly just coffee, I got 1 cigarette from him. Around 11 Peter and Brown Michael show up. We talked some more. Peter left at about 12:30. Me and brown Michael at 2. I asked Michael if he thought I was a horrible person, I guess because I have my family telling me I am and I have also done things I regret. I did almost stab a guy with a broken beer bottle. Anyway he told me he's spent a lot of time with me, more time than hes ever spent with anyone else. Strangely enough he said he's thought about this before, me that is. He says I'm a good person, although sometimes I can be self absorbed. He also said that I treat women very well. I agreed and told him that I always dreamed of winning the lottery but I always found myself dreaming of winning the money so I could spend it on Tina or something. We came to the conclusion that I put myself before others except for the people I care about. I won't go out of the way to help someone I don't know but if it helps my friends I would do it in a heartbeat. I guess that could be considered a good thing. I love my friends. I enjoy these talks. Work is easy. Winning poker lately. Actually have money now. I wrote that poem. It's not very good. Possibly going out with Kita on Tuesday. Hopefully. Maybe going to Rocky Horror tonight. I dont know. Sometimes I just feel incomplete. Well more than sometimes. A lot of times. I write these entries, but only 2 people really see them. Or maybe nobody sees them, It seems like noone reads them. I guess thats fine, I do this more for myself anyway.
I have to write the first hour of my screenplay over break. Asian Michael asked me something interesting last night. He could tell I've been I guess not myself lately. I think he can read me like a book, meaning sometimes I think he knows exactly how I feel, he knows that I've experienced a lot of pain. He knows I'm constantly worrying about things. School. Money. Car. Home life. Women. Where I'm going. Where I've been. What I'm doing. If things are gonna work out. Important things. Important to me anyway. Anyway about what he asked me. He asked me if I ever feel like creating something. He already knew the answer so it was more like a statement. He said "You don't really want to create anything do you?". He says most people in my state feel like they should create something. I'm writing a screenplay but it's for a class really. I told him not imparticular. I told him really what I want to do is leave my mark on the poker world. Even if I die broke, I want people to see me on t.v. and say "Wow that Patrick Dovale, now that's a good poker player!". Thats my last name by the way. Noone ever seems to know it, probably because I never bring it up. Also I told him sometimes I think about writing poetry, so I did. I also just enjoy writing about my feelings sometimes. I guess technically that could be translated into poetry. I don't want to be alone anymore, but I want to make sure I find the right person. So maybe I kind of do want to be alone until I find that person. Time is the real key I suppose. It's good to get to know someone well before jumping into things I think. I didn't do that with Tina. Haven't been working out as much as I should. Every other day is what I should be doing. Haven't had the time. Going today hopefully. Going with Rich Michael. I hope something amazing happens to me soon. I guess these little things aren't enough for me. Galaga score here, poker win there. I lust for adventure. I lust for excitement. I lust for, well lust. Ha I guess I'm no jedi. Road trip this summer. Maybe I'll find what I'm looking for there. Just me and my best pals.
My family seems to hate me. My mom especially. No big deal. I just keep on going. I really should stay with my dad for a week or something, bond with him. They say I'm negative. Strange because most people think I'm crazy fun. I believe Kita said I'm "You're so crazy! I love it!" or something along those lines. Asian Michael tells people "Patrick's a real good guy." All my friends have opinions like those. I guess my family just loathes my very existence. Except for my 3 sisters. 2 of which don't know me very well and are under 2 years of age anyway. But Kennedy, I see her all the time and everytime she sees me she runs over and gives me a hug, well hugs my leg, and tells me she loves me. It makes me smile everytime. I told Asian Michael last night that sometimes I dream that my family dies in a plane crash or something
except Kennedy. I then take the life insurance money and inheritance, sell the house and use all the money to move into an apartment and take care of Kennedy and me. I decided a long time ago that I would take her in if something happened to my parents. I don't know. I asked mentioned that to Michael when I asked if he thought I was a horrible person for thinking that and he said he didn't think it was bad at all and he completely understands. He said he thinks I would be a lot happier. I'm not an unhappy person anyway. I have all these bad things going on at home and it's no secret to people that I'm neglected at home. I don't get any food and they don't take me to the doctor when I'm extremely sick. Now that I'm 18 I can do that myself and I do. But most people would never know it unless I actually tell them. Anyway things will work out, I know it. I'll do well in school. Tuesday will be great. I'll move out soon. I'll spend more time with my dad and my job will provide me with money.
Where we've been, where we're going
The leaves crash to the ground, the place we once stood together
We're not there anymore, we're not anywhere anymore
The leaves are the same, the spot is the same
Not a single thing out of place
The world didn't stop, nothing is different
Here we were, you and I
Poker was good. I won. Went to Asian Michaels afterwards and we talked for a few hours at a park, over some coffee and cigarettes. Well mainly just coffee, I got 1 cigarette from him. Around 11 Peter and Brown Michael show up. We talked some more. Peter left at about 12:30. Me and brown Michael at 2. I asked Michael if he thought I was a horrible person, I guess because I have my family telling me I am and I have also done things I regret. I did almost stab a guy with a broken beer bottle. Anyway he told me he's spent a lot of time with me, more time than hes ever spent with anyone else. Strangely enough he said he's thought about this before, me that is. He says I'm a good person, although sometimes I can be self absorbed. He also said that I treat women very well. I agreed and told him that I always dreamed of winning the lottery but I always found myself dreaming of winning the money so I could spend it on Tina or something. We came to the conclusion that I put myself before others except for the people I care about. I won't go out of the way to help someone I don't know but if it helps my friends I would do it in a heartbeat. I guess that could be considered a good thing. I love my friends. I enjoy these talks. Work is easy. Winning poker lately. Actually have money now. I wrote that poem. It's not very good. Possibly going out with Kita on Tuesday. Hopefully. Maybe going to Rocky Horror tonight. I dont know. Sometimes I just feel incomplete. Well more than sometimes. A lot of times. I write these entries, but only 2 people really see them. Or maybe nobody sees them, It seems like noone reads them. I guess thats fine, I do this more for myself anyway.
I have to write the first hour of my screenplay over break. Asian Michael asked me something interesting last night. He could tell I've been I guess not myself lately. I think he can read me like a book, meaning sometimes I think he knows exactly how I feel, he knows that I've experienced a lot of pain. He knows I'm constantly worrying about things. School. Money. Car. Home life. Women. Where I'm going. Where I've been. What I'm doing. If things are gonna work out. Important things. Important to me anyway. Anyway about what he asked me. He asked me if I ever feel like creating something. He already knew the answer so it was more like a statement. He said "You don't really want to create anything do you?". He says most people in my state feel like they should create something. I'm writing a screenplay but it's for a class really. I told him not imparticular. I told him really what I want to do is leave my mark on the poker world. Even if I die broke, I want people to see me on t.v. and say "Wow that Patrick Dovale, now that's a good poker player!". Thats my last name by the way. Noone ever seems to know it, probably because I never bring it up. Also I told him sometimes I think about writing poetry, so I did. I also just enjoy writing about my feelings sometimes. I guess technically that could be translated into poetry. I don't want to be alone anymore, but I want to make sure I find the right person. So maybe I kind of do want to be alone until I find that person. Time is the real key I suppose. It's good to get to know someone well before jumping into things I think. I didn't do that with Tina. Haven't been working out as much as I should. Every other day is what I should be doing. Haven't had the time. Going today hopefully. Going with Rich Michael. I hope something amazing happens to me soon. I guess these little things aren't enough for me. Galaga score here, poker win there. I lust for adventure. I lust for excitement. I lust for, well lust. Ha I guess I'm no jedi. Road trip this summer. Maybe I'll find what I'm looking for there. Just me and my best pals.
My family seems to hate me. My mom especially. No big deal. I just keep on going. I really should stay with my dad for a week or something, bond with him. They say I'm negative. Strange because most people think I'm crazy fun. I believe Kita said I'm "You're so crazy! I love it!" or something along those lines. Asian Michael tells people "Patrick's a real good guy." All my friends have opinions like those. I guess my family just loathes my very existence. Except for my 3 sisters. 2 of which don't know me very well and are under 2 years of age anyway. But Kennedy, I see her all the time and everytime she sees me she runs over and gives me a hug, well hugs my leg, and tells me she loves me. It makes me smile everytime. I told Asian Michael last night that sometimes I dream that my family dies in a plane crash or something
except Kennedy. I then take the life insurance money and inheritance, sell the house and use all the money to move into an apartment and take care of Kennedy and me. I decided a long time ago that I would take her in if something happened to my parents. I don't know. I asked mentioned that to Michael when I asked if he thought I was a horrible person for thinking that and he said he didn't think it was bad at all and he completely understands. He said he thinks I would be a lot happier. I'm not an unhappy person anyway. I have all these bad things going on at home and it's no secret to people that I'm neglected at home. I don't get any food and they don't take me to the doctor when I'm extremely sick. Now that I'm 18 I can do that myself and I do. But most people would never know it unless I actually tell them. Anyway things will work out, I know it. I'll do well in school. Tuesday will be great. I'll move out soon. I'll spend more time with my dad and my job will provide me with money.