(no subject)
So
I dont write much in here anymore.I guess its the whole idea that everyone can read it.Im so use to my personal journal.It cant judge me.I guess in a way myspace is the new livejournal.So....life is pretty much shitty these days.I feel i cant talk about Zaidy to anyone cause they feel its time forme to be over it.I feel like ever action or thing i do they see as a resault of me loosing my kid.And belive it or not,people have the nerv to use her agenst me.Heartless so called "friends".Im sick of people!No one knows what the hell im going threw...and no thats not a statement of feeling sorry for myself..its a statement of a FUCK YOU and FUCK OFF cause no one has the right to tell me how to handel what im going threw!Or if im griving wrong!Im so sick of being scared to talk about her cause or what people might say or think.Like miranda telling me how i should be over it and life goes on....i get it,but you dont get how the fuck THIS FEELS!And i dont know why im still thinking about her ALL day everyday!
I cant help but to be mad at the world for taking something so fucking meaninful to me!She was my world...my everything!
something that ment somuch to me that i only got to hold ONCE.Something that was a part ofme and MINE and he just took her....
I dont know why i cant see her dying as a positive thing!I guess imust be really fucked up or something?!And i dont blame people getting mad at me or not wanting to be around me..i feel like a totaly diffrent person.Im anger,sad,confused,just painly messed up!Its odd how something like this can really fuck with someone....
I dont see things ever going back to how they use to be!
I dont write much in here anymore.I guess its the whole idea that everyone can read it.Im so use to my personal journal.It cant judge me.I guess in a way myspace is the new livejournal.So....life is pretty much shitty these days.I feel i cant talk about Zaidy to anyone cause they feel its time forme to be over it.I feel like ever action or thing i do they see as a resault of me loosing my kid.And belive it or not,people have the nerv to use her agenst me.Heartless so called "friends".Im sick of people!No one knows what the hell im going threw...and no thats not a statement of feeling sorry for myself..its a statement of a FUCK YOU and FUCK OFF cause no one has the right to tell me how to handel what im going threw!Or if im griving wrong!Im so sick of being scared to talk about her cause or what people might say or think.Like miranda telling me how i should be over it and life goes on....i get it,but you dont get how the fuck THIS FEELS!And i dont know why im still thinking about her ALL day everyday!
I cant help but to be mad at the world for taking something so fucking meaninful to me!She was my world...my everything!
something that ment somuch to me that i only got to hold ONCE.Something that was a part ofme and MINE and he just took her....
I dont know why i cant see her dying as a positive thing!I guess imust be really fucked up or something?!And i dont blame people getting mad at me or not wanting to be around me..i feel like a totaly diffrent person.Im anger,sad,confused,just painly messed up!Its odd how something like this can really fuck with someone....
I dont see things ever going back to how they use to be!