Aug 31, 2004 14:53
You know what always gets to me? People who want to do everything at once. I'm a pretty laid back guy myself and like to do things at my own pace. Just take it one step at a time.
That way it looks like you're doing more than you really are.
Anyway, I have to deal with people who want to live life in the fast lane daily. It pisses me off. Mostly because these people see that I'm not moving as fast as they are and start telling me how to do things better. However, over the years of dealing with these know-it-all jackasses, I've come up with a surefire way to get them to shut up and quite possibly never come near me again. I call it "mallet."
Take this for example (an example of someone who likes to do everything at once, not the mallet thing):
I like to take my relationships slow and get to know the person before even thinking about trying to get her in the sack. On the other hand, I have a friend who somehow manages to have at least six relationships at once and literally dives into each one headfirst.
...Which could give some amusing but disturbing imagery, once you think about it.
Getting back on track, I'm not really impressed by the whole "harem" thing. The way I see it is this: 1)He's too white to be a pimp. 2)Sooner or later, it's all going to backfire, providing me with hours of laughter each time I look at him.
These zippy people are everywhere, like little leprechaun ninjas or something. I could be at a picnic and about to enjoy some watermelon. Before I can cut a slice, though, some busybody charges over to the table and, not believing he has enough time to eat watermelon and do whatever insignificant thing he was planning on doing, crams the entire melon (as well as an unfortunate squirrel that just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time) into his mouth and charges off to his car which then promptly explodes. Probably because I hate him.
Okay, I'm done with my rant. Now let's all go and find a way to scour the "Diving Headfirst" image from our brains.