Coldwater crappiness, or how I almost lost it.
Earlier today my mom wanted to stop by Coldwater Creek to spend some of her Christmas money, so dad and I went with her. Have any of you ever been to Coldwater Creek? For those of you who have not had the esteemed privilage of shopping there (end sarcasm), it is a women's clothing store with an obvious target demographic of middle-aged to senior successful woman. I say successful only because their prices are NOT cheap. A seemingly ordinary stone necklace will cost you an average of $40, and I've seen the same thing for $15 at Lerner's New York. But I digress.
After perusing the store for a good half an hour, my mom decides on a lovely cream colored sweater that is decidedly unmatronly (my mom does have taste, thankfully). She asks me stand in line for her while she continues her shopping, and I agree to do so as there is absolutely nothing in the store that appeals to me. And so my story begins.
There are three cash registers open, and a single line that feeds all three. The line reaches all the way through the store to the dressing room, so with a sigh I find the end of the line and prepare to wait. I'm behind a woman who's probably in her 30s with a child who is probably about 9 months old. The kid is cute enough in her pink body suit, even with a disgustingly runny nose, but the mother occasionally decides to leave the little girl crawling around on the floor while she wanders away to look at clothes. Of course, this leaves me staring disbelievingly at the kid, who promptly decides to crawl over and sit herself on my feet. Her mom wanders back, and after several coos and "aw, isn't that cute" comments retrieves her child...And then wanders away again, leaving me again with a snotty kid who thinks I'm the most interesting thing she's ever seen. No, it's not cute. It's snotty and annoying. I am not your babysitter, so please kindly remove the creature from my shoelaces.
And then you have the two women behind me. Both of them are obviously in real estate, and unfortunately both of them take their work with them wherever they go. They each have a cell phone and each is shouting as loudly as possible into their phones talking about closed deals and fixed rates blah blah blah. So I am sandwiched between snotty-nosed Miss Pink at my feet and loud-talkers behind me, and the line is inching along ever so slowly. Mom, of course, has disappeared with dad.
Why oh why is the line inching along so slowly? I wonder. It could be because Coldwater Creek is having a sale. Coldwater Creek is having a sale, and their insane clientele have decided to purchase their clothing in bulk. Said bulk clothing must be wrapped individually in pieces of Coldwater Creek tissue paper before being placed in Coldwater Creek bags. Coldwater Creek cashiers take for-freaking-ever to wrap bulk clothing in said tissue paper, resulting in an ungodly long line...
JUST THROW THE FRICKIN CLOTHES IN THE BAG! What is the point and purpose of wrapping of every single article of clothing in a piece of tissue paper? Is it REALLY necessary? How many trees are killed each year to support the shopping habits of Coldwater Creek? Oh my GOSH, are you seriously going to wrap every single one of that woman's 10 sweaters in tissue paper, just so she can take them home and UNWRAP them, only to dispose of the tissue paper you took FOREVER to wrap around the clothes?! Holy shit people, give me a break!
And that, my friends, is how Megan Pozza almost had a mental breakdown in the middle of Coldwater Creek. 45 minutes spent in line with incompetent mother with snot-nosed kid and loud-cell-talking duo, combined with TISSUE PAPER-CRAZED COLDWATER CREEK almost resulted in my mental undoing.
Am I really that mentally unstable to begin with? Or is it too much to ask for a little sympathy?
But god, the tissue paper... for the love of all that's good, can we please end the tissue paper madness?
After perusing the store for a good half an hour, my mom decides on a lovely cream colored sweater that is decidedly unmatronly (my mom does have taste, thankfully). She asks me stand in line for her while she continues her shopping, and I agree to do so as there is absolutely nothing in the store that appeals to me. And so my story begins.
There are three cash registers open, and a single line that feeds all three. The line reaches all the way through the store to the dressing room, so with a sigh I find the end of the line and prepare to wait. I'm behind a woman who's probably in her 30s with a child who is probably about 9 months old. The kid is cute enough in her pink body suit, even with a disgustingly runny nose, but the mother occasionally decides to leave the little girl crawling around on the floor while she wanders away to look at clothes. Of course, this leaves me staring disbelievingly at the kid, who promptly decides to crawl over and sit herself on my feet. Her mom wanders back, and after several coos and "aw, isn't that cute" comments retrieves her child...And then wanders away again, leaving me again with a snotty kid who thinks I'm the most interesting thing she's ever seen. No, it's not cute. It's snotty and annoying. I am not your babysitter, so please kindly remove the creature from my shoelaces.
And then you have the two women behind me. Both of them are obviously in real estate, and unfortunately both of them take their work with them wherever they go. They each have a cell phone and each is shouting as loudly as possible into their phones talking about closed deals and fixed rates blah blah blah. So I am sandwiched between snotty-nosed Miss Pink at my feet and loud-talkers behind me, and the line is inching along ever so slowly. Mom, of course, has disappeared with dad.
Why oh why is the line inching along so slowly? I wonder. It could be because Coldwater Creek is having a sale. Coldwater Creek is having a sale, and their insane clientele have decided to purchase their clothing in bulk. Said bulk clothing must be wrapped individually in pieces of Coldwater Creek tissue paper before being placed in Coldwater Creek bags. Coldwater Creek cashiers take for-freaking-ever to wrap bulk clothing in said tissue paper, resulting in an ungodly long line...
JUST THROW THE FRICKIN CLOTHES IN THE BAG! What is the point and purpose of wrapping of every single article of clothing in a piece of tissue paper? Is it REALLY necessary? How many trees are killed each year to support the shopping habits of Coldwater Creek? Oh my GOSH, are you seriously going to wrap every single one of that woman's 10 sweaters in tissue paper, just so she can take them home and UNWRAP them, only to dispose of the tissue paper you took FOREVER to wrap around the clothes?! Holy shit people, give me a break!
And that, my friends, is how Megan Pozza almost had a mental breakdown in the middle of Coldwater Creek. 45 minutes spent in line with incompetent mother with snot-nosed kid and loud-cell-talking duo, combined with TISSUE PAPER-CRAZED COLDWATER CREEK almost resulted in my mental undoing.
Am I really that mentally unstable to begin with? Or is it too much to ask for a little sympathy?
But god, the tissue paper... for the love of all that's good, can we please end the tissue paper madness?