what fallows.. has led me to this place where I belong

[smooch_like_wow]

I remember the first time I EVER called Troy... lol yea he told me that he rocked out to the new afi song in math and I was just like AWESOME! and then I turned on the radio real fast and it was on and he sung to it. WELL NOW HE IS IN A BAND AND GUESS WHAT BITCHES!!!!!!! I don't know, nevermind don't worry about it cuz if he reads this I'll be real embarresed and won't be ablt to see him anymore. I also remember I listend to the dwarves haha. God I miss that. Anyways, I don't like anyone. It's really really wierd. Out of the blue I was just like... nah. I mean I do like someone but not really anyone that I could have. well I didn't go to school today cuz I didn't study for my science test and I don't want to fail it. :( YIKES thats a bummer. I seriously have to start going to bed earlier. like way earlier. like I'm talking about 9 30 again earlier! I don't want to.. die tonight will you believe in me? and I dont want to fall into the light.. will you wish upon? will you walk upon me? I dont want to die tonight!! WILL YOU BELIEVE IN ME TONIGHT??? AM I THE STAR BENEATH THE STARS AM I THE GHOST UPON THE STAGE AM I YOUR ANYTHING? god... :( I miss Troy. I want him back. I have to get over him but I will. I have to. When I didn't talk to him for that like week I was sooo sure I was too but I'm not, I need to be cuz I need to be able to just not care and see him all the time next year and not want to cry. gosh, kay kay kay. For the time being I am a little strung on him but it won't stay that way. I promise myself it won't. I promised Kadie that I would not ever like him again and I have already broken that promise and she knows that I can't help it. I promised myself that I would get over him by now and I have broken that promise as well. gosh, silence me =(

I feel like I have nothing in Carson to live for anymore. Why not just move and start over? I don't want to be stuck here anymore. Right where all the emotion and anger hits so hard that you can't even bare to wake up in the morning admitting the same routine where your friends betray you in the worst types of way.

well I'm gonna go rock out to some emo lol. bye