On perfumery & other old entries...I don't expect most to read the entire contents of this.
Foreword-to a lj post..wow.
(I've been writing much more in my REAL journal now. I actually can't really stop, it's a compulsion, like almost everything, but it gives me a sense of stasis, which is really what I need, what I've lacked my entire life. I am giving myself, through seclusion and self-control.
MINE, our band which I haven't really talked about that much to almost anyone except my nearest and dearest is coming along pretty awesome, we have a lot to show for how little time we have together. It's just a very wonderful time right now for me, even in the midst of all this chaos, in a state of a recovery that never seems to cease. I learn and am constantly disgusted by humanity yet thankful and delighted by the little things. Melted mint thin girl-scout cookies, HIM, red lacquered nails. Don't get me wrong about 20 times a day I curse the sky and I ask why it was me? The fucking accursed of the earth..because victims perpetuate their own circumstance, maybe so. I only know my heart is full, fearless, and I have nothing at all to lose. Not a bit.)
1
"Bathing and scent masking are dishonest. They provide a laudible means-in guise of cleanliness (and goodness)-to conceal one's true nature and motivations. Anyone who deals with diversity in people, yet depends upon making a sale, must mask his scent...As far as I'm concerned, habitual bathing is for..the guilty, the idle.."
Being a fraudulent, petty thieving, daughter of Satan I revel in the deciet. So this icosahedron enjoys dousing her skeletal frame in Moschino couture whenever she can get her grubby paws on it. Most are too oblivious to realize I'm completely open about the lies...and henceforthe are deserving of them.
I'm also feeling exceedingly receptive now days so..
..
I'm currently accepting applications to let people in, I know it looks scary. But it can be pretty warm, as thing aren't at all as they appear.
I'm also beginning to see the
at the end of the abandoned mental hospitals corridor. ha ha.
Full Moon tonight so I'm being cautious and might sip some wine and try to go to sleep early or else I'll be lighting fireworks out of my anus again like a trifling ass jiggaboo..
love,
v.a.g.
2
(I think this explains a lot)
My curtains were ripped away in the tornado, now I am too destitute to go purchase new ones. Besides, my old ones suited me just fine. Now everyone can see me when I'm not chronically avoiding my front room. Naked ledges. Naked sills. And my sense of disregard grows with more purpose and self indulgence each day. I would praise God for the tornado but I have a feeling he had not a thing to do with the matter..
And I find it to be positive(that the unrelated creative writing piece reflects my life), vascillating between two extremes is no way to live..but absolute composure is so fucking mundane. Just trying to find the air pockets, the mediums. But I am constantly constricted/running from my own consciousness. It takes in, and produces too much, until it collapses and I hibernate and question the worth of everything that I created. This is why I was consumed by drugs forever, to increase the rate of the eventual destruction of my psyche. So, hello, nice to meet you, things are changing around here.
love,
v.a.g.
3
I must have misplaced my copy of the satanic witch or it mysteriously vanished. I nearly cried as I fucking overanalyzed all the symbolic implications of its dissapearance on top of the my losing one of my 6 rings. (666). I can feel the lack of their presence on my fingers :-(...I sense this as a test. But this time I will remain undeterred. Also I laugh as you validate my fears and anticipations. You're a trifle mess at 43, I'm on the cusp of a panic attack.
I picked up Necronomicon at Trident to fill the void. 13 Blog views today, ha ha.
4th with the Fam. Too truthful. Gonna go watch Haggard.
xoxoxox,
v.a.g.
p.s. "L.K. Barnes, on the other hand no rest whatsoever from the signals and messages from the exstraterrestrial intelligences ... He has been plagued by an unremitting chain of numerological events which he can not ignore. The predominance of the numbers 13, 333, 555, 666, and others too arcane to bear mentioning have made his life a demonstration (read, demon-stration) of Jungian synchronicity patterns. Also his first printing of the beautiful, full color Denderah Zodiac on the first anniversary of the Necronomicon publication in 1978...has dissapeared"
-listening to adult.-d.u.m.e
love,
cockroach
(I've been writing much more in my REAL journal now. I actually can't really stop, it's a compulsion, like almost everything, but it gives me a sense of stasis, which is really what I need, what I've lacked my entire life. I am giving myself, through seclusion and self-control.
MINE, our band which I haven't really talked about that much to almost anyone except my nearest and dearest is coming along pretty awesome, we have a lot to show for how little time we have together. It's just a very wonderful time right now for me, even in the midst of all this chaos, in a state of a recovery that never seems to cease. I learn and am constantly disgusted by humanity yet thankful and delighted by the little things. Melted mint thin girl-scout cookies, HIM, red lacquered nails. Don't get me wrong about 20 times a day I curse the sky and I ask why it was me? The fucking accursed of the earth..because victims perpetuate their own circumstance, maybe so. I only know my heart is full, fearless, and I have nothing at all to lose. Not a bit.)
1
"Bathing and scent masking are dishonest. They provide a laudible means-in guise of cleanliness (and goodness)-to conceal one's true nature and motivations. Anyone who deals with diversity in people, yet depends upon making a sale, must mask his scent...As far as I'm concerned, habitual bathing is for..the guilty, the idle.."
Being a fraudulent, petty thieving, daughter of Satan I revel in the deciet. So this icosahedron enjoys dousing her skeletal frame in Moschino couture whenever she can get her grubby paws on it. Most are too oblivious to realize I'm completely open about the lies...and henceforthe are deserving of them.
I'm also feeling exceedingly receptive now days so..
..
I'm currently accepting applications to let people in, I know it looks scary. But it can be pretty warm, as thing aren't at all as they appear.
I'm also beginning to see the
at the end of the abandoned mental hospitals corridor. ha ha.
Full Moon tonight so I'm being cautious and might sip some wine and try to go to sleep early or else I'll be lighting fireworks out of my anus again like a trifling ass jiggaboo..
love,
v.a.g.
2
(I think this explains a lot)
My curtains were ripped away in the tornado, now I am too destitute to go purchase new ones. Besides, my old ones suited me just fine. Now everyone can see me when I'm not chronically avoiding my front room. Naked ledges. Naked sills. And my sense of disregard grows with more purpose and self indulgence each day. I would praise God for the tornado but I have a feeling he had not a thing to do with the matter..
And I find it to be positive(that the unrelated creative writing piece reflects my life), vascillating between two extremes is no way to live..but absolute composure is so fucking mundane. Just trying to find the air pockets, the mediums. But I am constantly constricted/running from my own consciousness. It takes in, and produces too much, until it collapses and I hibernate and question the worth of everything that I created. This is why I was consumed by drugs forever, to increase the rate of the eventual destruction of my psyche. So, hello, nice to meet you, things are changing around here.
love,
v.a.g.
3
I must have misplaced my copy of the satanic witch or it mysteriously vanished. I nearly cried as I fucking overanalyzed all the symbolic implications of its dissapearance on top of the my losing one of my 6 rings. (666). I can feel the lack of their presence on my fingers :-(...I sense this as a test. But this time I will remain undeterred. Also I laugh as you validate my fears and anticipations. You're a trifle mess at 43, I'm on the cusp of a panic attack.
I picked up Necronomicon at Trident to fill the void. 13 Blog views today, ha ha.
4th with the Fam. Too truthful. Gonna go watch Haggard.
xoxoxox,
v.a.g.
p.s. "L.K. Barnes, on the other hand no rest whatsoever from the signals and messages from the exstraterrestrial intelligences ... He has been plagued by an unremitting chain of numerological events which he can not ignore. The predominance of the numbers 13, 333, 555, 666, and others too arcane to bear mentioning have made his life a demonstration (read, demon-stration) of Jungian synchronicity patterns. Also his first printing of the beautiful, full color Denderah Zodiac on the first anniversary of the Necronomicon publication in 1978...has dissapeared"
-listening to adult.-d.u.m.e
love,
cockroach