lonlieness
ok. well hello everyone. damn it has been a long time. i know that i kind of disappeared without a trace and shit and for that i am sorry. well i guess that i am directing this to kali and carley because i miss you guys. so here's the scoop:
well life was going along like normal and then one day i rode the bus home from school walked into my house and there were these 2 people there and i was all who the fuck are you. and they were all were here to escort you to oak grove ( this gay ass residential place) and i was all fuck that. well i tried to run up to my room and they tried to stop me and they told me that my dad had given up cusdady of me for the day so they were basically in charge of my life right then. oh my god i felt like so much shit. and they were telling me that they had already cleaned out my room and they found my home made bongs and shit and a little weed. and my dad had already packed me a bag that was already in there car. we'll i sat there and fought with them for like an hour before i finally gave in because i was just so depressed it felt like i couldnt even move anymore. so they walked me out to the car and i went to spit on my dads car and the guy put is arm out and i accidentlly spit on him. ( hahaha funny shit ) well so i have been at oak grove for 2 months now. Oh my god does it suck or what. there is always staff around telling me that i cant do whatever im doing. fuck i want to shoot myself in the fucking face. and i dont even know when i am going to get out i just know that the usual stay for people is a year. A FUCKING YEAR!!!!! god that is such a long time. but then again there is some girls who are really good and get out early. well so for now i am trying to be good. and it is kind of working. but you know me i have my good days and my bad days. oh and i have to go through all this NA bullshit. and i have to stay sober. God could there be a worse punishment. well i get to go on passes on the weekends which for most people would be awesome but for me they kind of suck because i have to stay under my parents supervision and i just get to see everything that i cant have and talk to my friends who are usually always faded. so it kind of makes me want to rip my face off. but i am making up school credits so i can graduate on time. and if i do graduate on time it would be a fucking miracle. so maybe that is a good thing. but yeah it still fucking sucks. But anyways I love you guys. i hope i can talk to you soon.
Oh and Carley I was going through my room the other day and I found your sweatshirt that you let me borrow that one time. I hope your not mad at me for it. because i still love you.
Oh and I saw the pics that you two took ( kali and carley ) that were posted on kali's lj. you guys look awesome.
well life was going along like normal and then one day i rode the bus home from school walked into my house and there were these 2 people there and i was all who the fuck are you. and they were all were here to escort you to oak grove ( this gay ass residential place) and i was all fuck that. well i tried to run up to my room and they tried to stop me and they told me that my dad had given up cusdady of me for the day so they were basically in charge of my life right then. oh my god i felt like so much shit. and they were telling me that they had already cleaned out my room and they found my home made bongs and shit and a little weed. and my dad had already packed me a bag that was already in there car. we'll i sat there and fought with them for like an hour before i finally gave in because i was just so depressed it felt like i couldnt even move anymore. so they walked me out to the car and i went to spit on my dads car and the guy put is arm out and i accidentlly spit on him. ( hahaha funny shit ) well so i have been at oak grove for 2 months now. Oh my god does it suck or what. there is always staff around telling me that i cant do whatever im doing. fuck i want to shoot myself in the fucking face. and i dont even know when i am going to get out i just know that the usual stay for people is a year. A FUCKING YEAR!!!!! god that is such a long time. but then again there is some girls who are really good and get out early. well so for now i am trying to be good. and it is kind of working. but you know me i have my good days and my bad days. oh and i have to go through all this NA bullshit. and i have to stay sober. God could there be a worse punishment. well i get to go on passes on the weekends which for most people would be awesome but for me they kind of suck because i have to stay under my parents supervision and i just get to see everything that i cant have and talk to my friends who are usually always faded. so it kind of makes me want to rip my face off. but i am making up school credits so i can graduate on time. and if i do graduate on time it would be a fucking miracle. so maybe that is a good thing. but yeah it still fucking sucks. But anyways I love you guys. i hope i can talk to you soon.
Oh and Carley I was going through my room the other day and I found your sweatshirt that you let me borrow that one time. I hope your not mad at me for it. because i still love you.
Oh and I saw the pics that you two took ( kali and carley ) that were posted on kali's lj. you guys look awesome.