Winter Winds
Has anyone ever asked you to describe yourself? Have you always had an issue answering this?
I understand exactly how this feels. When I took my time off work I completely lost who I was inside. I couldn't bring myself to do the many things I enjoy doing. Photography, drawing, painting, playing my guitar. It all just kinda faded away with me. I was stuck in a rut that I thought I could never pull myself out of.
I went back to work in April, and I still wasn't well. I told myself I was better, because I needed to get back into the whole working gig again. I wasn't, not at all.
I felt so alone. A selected few were happy to see me back at work, but many were not. When the entire world seems to be against you, and returning to this atmosphere, it doesn't help.
The only fun I had away from work was spending my endless days on LOTRO. The days intertwined with each other. I never knew what day of the week it was. I stayed in the basement from sunrise to sunset. Sometimes I'd even sleep the whole time the sun was up, so I never saw the crack of day.
LOTRO was good, and I still very much enjoy it. It got me through my rough times. It's something that I'll hold on to for a long time. Where as no one else was there to bring me back to life, as I couldn't do it myself, I had a distraction, and I used it. Used it to the point of spending all my sick leave money on.
Back to the main point though, describing who you are. When you lose the ability to do this for yourself, something needs to change.
It wasn't until I started talking to a specific person, that I slowly started to feel like myself again. We went away for work, I got to play chess, drink some beers, and just have a good time.
As the days went on my mood started to get better. I'm still dealing with some health issues, but my mental ones are on the mend.
The last week or so I have been working a lot. Probably 2 days off within a 2 week period. It has been pretty damn busy. Usually I just stay in after work, be bored and do my own thing, but I have been going out after work, getting out of my isolation. It's been awesome, I can't lie about that.
In the last couple of weeks, not only have I started to listen to awesome music again (instead of just dreary depressing songs) I've caught myself picking up my guitar again. I've been mucking around with a few higher beat chords with my capo, and I just take it from there. It feels good. I've also drawn a few more things, and I'm actually itching to get out and take some photos. I can't remember the last time that I went out for a walk and just did that for hours.
Needless to say, I'm feeling a lot better. I've pulled out of my shell, and I'm extremely grateful for the one who has helped me with this.
It feels nice to be Mel again.
<3
I understand exactly how this feels. When I took my time off work I completely lost who I was inside. I couldn't bring myself to do the many things I enjoy doing. Photography, drawing, painting, playing my guitar. It all just kinda faded away with me. I was stuck in a rut that I thought I could never pull myself out of.
I went back to work in April, and I still wasn't well. I told myself I was better, because I needed to get back into the whole working gig again. I wasn't, not at all.
I felt so alone. A selected few were happy to see me back at work, but many were not. When the entire world seems to be against you, and returning to this atmosphere, it doesn't help.
The only fun I had away from work was spending my endless days on LOTRO. The days intertwined with each other. I never knew what day of the week it was. I stayed in the basement from sunrise to sunset. Sometimes I'd even sleep the whole time the sun was up, so I never saw the crack of day.
LOTRO was good, and I still very much enjoy it. It got me through my rough times. It's something that I'll hold on to for a long time. Where as no one else was there to bring me back to life, as I couldn't do it myself, I had a distraction, and I used it. Used it to the point of spending all my sick leave money on.
Back to the main point though, describing who you are. When you lose the ability to do this for yourself, something needs to change.
It wasn't until I started talking to a specific person, that I slowly started to feel like myself again. We went away for work, I got to play chess, drink some beers, and just have a good time.
As the days went on my mood started to get better. I'm still dealing with some health issues, but my mental ones are on the mend.
The last week or so I have been working a lot. Probably 2 days off within a 2 week period. It has been pretty damn busy. Usually I just stay in after work, be bored and do my own thing, but I have been going out after work, getting out of my isolation. It's been awesome, I can't lie about that.
In the last couple of weeks, not only have I started to listen to awesome music again (instead of just dreary depressing songs) I've caught myself picking up my guitar again. I've been mucking around with a few higher beat chords with my capo, and I just take it from there. It feels good. I've also drawn a few more things, and I'm actually itching to get out and take some photos. I can't remember the last time that I went out for a walk and just did that for hours.
Needless to say, I'm feeling a lot better. I've pulled out of my shell, and I'm extremely grateful for the one who has helped me with this.
It feels nice to be Mel again.
<3