What Manner of a Person Am I?
Sitting in the sun with a funnel cake, below the scale model of the Eiffel Tower, I contemplated the English language and how letters can have such an effect on the system--let alone the person.
I thought about people present, and people past, and one in limbo. I thought about how my best friend would not make it more than a couple more days at most. And all I could think about was the fucking tense change. After it's all over, it'll no longer be "Billy is a great guy!" it will instead be the more sullen "Billy was a great guy." The tense change sets a completely different mood. For such an arrangement of symbols it has such an amazing impact on our perception of a situation. Perhaps Stalin was right, "The writer is the engineer of the soul"
How depressing is that? A change in the tense will take the validity of the life a person away. It's like the final right.
It's depressing. I can't even call myself the best friend. I wasn't there for the last bit. Given, I tried to contact Bill, and he never would return my calls or messages. I still think that I could've been trying more aggressively; I did not fight hard enough for the position. I am a joke. I am not worthy...in the least. Fuck.
We planned our lives a door apart. We were going to open a dojo together, form a band, do all kinds of idiotic things together and now it can't ever come to fruition and I let the remaining time slip through my fingers. A 21 year old friend whom I rarely spent time away from, slipped into a damn coma under my nose. Where the hell was I? Why couldn't I have made more of an effort? For real. This is like my father, all over again.
I pretend like it's not happening until I have to start shopping for black clothes and correcting my English. Was.
I thought about people present, and people past, and one in limbo. I thought about how my best friend would not make it more than a couple more days at most. And all I could think about was the fucking tense change. After it's all over, it'll no longer be "Billy is a great guy!" it will instead be the more sullen "Billy was a great guy." The tense change sets a completely different mood. For such an arrangement of symbols it has such an amazing impact on our perception of a situation. Perhaps Stalin was right, "The writer is the engineer of the soul"
How depressing is that? A change in the tense will take the validity of the life a person away. It's like the final right.
It's depressing. I can't even call myself the best friend. I wasn't there for the last bit. Given, I tried to contact Bill, and he never would return my calls or messages. I still think that I could've been trying more aggressively; I did not fight hard enough for the position. I am a joke. I am not worthy...in the least. Fuck.
We planned our lives a door apart. We were going to open a dojo together, form a band, do all kinds of idiotic things together and now it can't ever come to fruition and I let the remaining time slip through my fingers. A 21 year old friend whom I rarely spent time away from, slipped into a damn coma under my nose. Where the hell was I? Why couldn't I have made more of an effort? For real. This is like my father, all over again.
I pretend like it's not happening until I have to start shopping for black clothes and correcting my English. Was.