SGA: Now that We've Got THAT Cleared Up (McShep) R
Title: Now That We've Got That Cleared Up, or 5 times Rodney McKay denied having feelings for John Sheppard, and thus couldn't possibly be jealous at all
Fandom: SGA
Characters/Pairing: McShep
Rating: R for language and adult situations
Spoilers: general and character spoilers thr/ present.
Disclaimer: So very much not mine, even when I wish they were. Blame Acme-Shark if you don't like them. Dialogue from #1 is taken directly from "Suspicion".
Author's Notes: for elliejane from a 5 Things Meme. Thanks to genaschuyler for the beta and to just_katarin for all the usual handholding.
Word count: 2078
Summary: He's not interested in John Sheppard; he's not. So what if Dr. Ruth Emmagan thinks otherwise. What does she know?
not. Except for how he totally is.'>
"Oh, sure, take the puppy," Rodney muttered as Major Sheppard took off on yet another planetary reconnaissance flight with Lieutenant Ford.
Standing beside him, Teyla didn't actually speak, but the lift of her eyebrow indicated her amusement.
Eyes closing, he pressed his hand to his forehead. "God, what is wrong with me?"
Teyla spoke softly. "I believe you are jealous of Lieutenant Ford."
"Thank you so much for that insightful analysis, Dr. Ruth." Rodney rolled his eyes. "And why would I be jealous of Lieutenant Ford?"
Teyla's chest, her very well-endowed chest, lifted, and her mouth, her very pretty mouth, opened, but he held up his hand to halt her speech. "No, wait, don't answer that. Let me clear this up for you. I'm not the slightest bit interested in Major Sheppard, therefore I have absolutely no reason to be jealous."
1. Teyla (from "Suspicion")
"What the hell is this?"
Had anyone ever gotten that angry on his behalf? Rodney made an appeasing gesture. "I know how it looks. It was a special request from Sergeant Bates."
Sheppard's jaw ticked and his fists clenched. "I'm gonna bust that son of a bitch."
"Major..."
Rodney could almost hear the "Look, McKay," before Sheppard stated unequivocally, "Teyla has nothing to do with this."
"The thing is, he was right."
Sheppard's stare pierced him. He didn't look the slightest bit convinced. "Bates was right?"
"I know. I was as surprised as you are. Look at this." He held out the locket, and when Sheppard took it from him, he said, "It's her locket. It's a transmitter." With a wave of his hand, he indicated the computer screen that revealed the internal scan of the locket. "It's been broadcasting a continuous signal. I wouldn't even have noticed if I hadn't been looking for it specifically."
Sheppard sighed. "I found it."
"What?"
Mulish stubbornness plain on his face, the major explained. "Back on her planet, the first time we met. Teyla took me to the old ruins. That was half buried in dirt. I gave it to her."
And in Major John Sheppard's mind that was enough. Clearly. Obviously Teyla couldn't have planted it there for him to find. Because he believed in her.
Yes, fine, it just so happened he agreed with him. But that was so far beyond the point. He'd shown Sheppard physical proof, and he'd disregarded it. For Teyla.
Oh, what did he care? Sheppard and Teyla could conduct a torrid affair and fuck all over Atlantis. It would just be nice if, for once, Sheppard took him at his word.
2. Chaya Sar
After they'd received Sheppard's full report, and learned a few details he'd left out of the official document, Rodney asked to speak to Elizabeth. Alone, thank you very much.
When the balcony doors had shut, Rodney turned to Elizabeth. "Well, I think it's clear enough she messed with his mind."
"What are you saying, Rodney? Major Sheppard seems fine to me." Her brow wrinkled unappealingly when she frowned.
"She must have. Otherwise, what does he see in her?"
Elizabeth laughed. "Aside from the fact that she's beautiful, Rodney? I expect there's an allure to her being an Ancient. Someone who understands what it's like to have the power of Atlantis at his fingertips."
"Hey, I have the ATA gene now." Pursing his lips, Rodney set his hands on his hips. "I can fly a puddlejumper, and you don't see him running off to 'share himself' with me."
"I don't think you want me to answer that, Rodney." Her head dipped a fraction, unsuccessfully hiding a knowing smile.
Great. That was just great. "I didn't mean, oh never mind what I didn't mean. I am not attracted to Major Sheppard."
"I didn't say you were, Rodney." But rich amusement warmed her voice.
"I just think he could've found someone a little safer to..." He stopped himself just short of clapping his hands together, gesturing vaguely instead, then shrugged. "You know."
3. Elizabeth
He and Zelenka - at least he finally remembered the Czech's name - had identified three new critical command codes for the jumpers. Sheppard would want to know about military applications, and Rodney needed to eat.
He contacted Sheppard over the comm system. "Major, I've made some interesting discoveries today. If you'd like to meet me for dinner I could -"
"Listen McKay, I'd like to, but I'm kinda busy tonight."
"Oh, of course, well, if you'd contact me when you're free, I'll bring you up to speed."
"Sure thing, Rodney."
Well, that was just great. Rodney saved Atlantis fifteen times per week, worked overtime to learn everything he could about Major Sheppard's precious jumpers, but the man was "kinda busy."
Fine. At least there'd be no one asking stupid questions while he ate.
Over dinner, he most certainly did not wonder what kept Major Sheppard "kinda busy tonight". He couldn't have cared less.
So, when later, he found Sheppard on the balcony with Elizabeth, talking in low tones, with their heads close together, it didn't matter at all.
And that twinge in his stomach was obviously a sign he should've stuck to MREs.
4. Ronon
The wormhole wouldn't engage, and yes, they'd tried different Gates. He wasn't a moron, thank you very much. In fact, Rodney had tried everything he could think of, and about a hundred things the brilliant Samantha Carter had thought of, and a couple of things the crazy Czech had thought of despite them having less than no chance of success. And the wormhole still wouldn't engage.
Elizabeth, in typical Elizabeth fashion, called a conference to discuss the problem.
"I have heard of such things happening on other worlds," Teyla said calmly.
"Would've been nice to know that before I spent three days trying to fix it," Rodney muttered. At a look from Elizabeth, he rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay. So, what do we do?"
"Wait."
Rodney turned to stare at Ronon. "What?"
"When I ran, sometimes the Gates didn't work. I hid and waited." Ronon shrugged. "It worked again."
"It worked again?" Rodney couldn't believe what he was - "It worked again. So we're just supposed to sit here and wait for it to work again." Great. He was surrounded by idiots.
"Take it easy, McKay." Sheppard came to Ronon's defense, the way he always did. Really, what'd Ronon ever done to earn Sheppard's loyalty?
Besides that whole 'great with guns' thing. Sheesh.
"Fine," said Elizabeth. "We wait. Until the Gate is operational, I'm recommending everyone take a few days off to relax and have some fun. Dismissed."
By the time Rodney had gathered up his research, returned to his quarters and decided to go find Sheppard to see what he had planned, the hallway resounded with the even thud of running feet. He peered out around the doorframe, and caught sight of Major Sheppard, sweat-soaked and panting.
And where Colonel Sheppard would be, of course Ronon would be right behind him. Or in front of him, most likely kneeling, with his mouth around Sheppard's dick and - The thought provoked a growl.
God. He really needed to get laid. That was all it was. Really.
5. Carson
Their new allies made excellent liquor. The best. Ever. Better than Canadian beer.
Good enough he definitely didn't care that Colonel Sheppard and Dr. Beckett seemed to be dancing. It looked more like grappling than dancing, but he couldn't figure out why Carson, who liked everyone, would be trying to drag Sheppard to the ground, so it had to be dancing.
"I'll have another one of these-" What did they call this stuff again anyway? "Oos…Ooska-" He waved a hand toward the big jug. "That stuff."
"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Rodney."
"I'm fine, Elizabeth."
She shook her head, and his swam trying to keep up. "You heard the man, Belal."
"Yes, Belal. You heard me." Rodney nodded and his head swam more. Okay, maybe not such a good idea. The nodding. The drinking was an excellent idea.
"McKay!" Colonel Sheppard appeared as Elizabeth left, all smiles for his good buddy Rodney. His good friend who could always be counted on to save Atlantis but wasn't good enough to take to bed Rodney. "Cheers, to a job well done."
"Yes. A job well done." He couldn't seem to remember. "Which job was that again?"
"The shield, Rodney, the one you made for these nice people." Sheppard tilted his head toward the crowd, and Rodney remembered just in time not to follow his head movement.
Nodding, bad. "Ohhh, right. That. Excellent work, Colonel Sheppard."
Sheppard puffed out a little laugh, left corner of his mouth quirking, wry. "Maybe I should get you back to your room, Rodney."
"No, no, I'm fine. You should get back to Dr. Beckett. He'll be waiting for you." Rodney felt rather proud of himself for that. Why he should, since he had no feelings for Colonel Sheppard, he didn't know, but he did.
"Uh, Rodney?"
At the dubious arched eyebrow, Rodney clapped him on the shoulder. "Really, it's perfectly all right. I'm not jealous at all, not in the slightest."
"Let me get this straight." Sheppard looked confused, and underneath the liquid happiness of strong drink, Rodney's stomach flipped over wondering if maybe he'd misjudged. "You're not jealous of me and Carson, because you think we're…?" He cocked his head, eyebrow lifting again.
"Dancing. Involved. Intimate." Rodney put on his best 'totally not jealous' smile. "You know."
"Actually, no, no I don't. Carson was drunk off his ass and I helped him back to his room. But that's all right, I think I understand the gist. Which is that you're not jealous."
Rodney was starting to get a little annoyed, even if Sheppard and Beckett weren't an item, it didn't matter. He'd said it three times already. "No. I'm not jealous."
"Well, gee, Rodney, that's kinda too bad."
Now it was Rodney's turn to be confused. "It is? Why?"
"Well, you see, Rodney, I came over here to invite you back to my quarters. I thought maybe we could have a drink, talk, I could suck your cock, but if you're not jealous, then that means you don't have any feelings for me. So, I guess that's out of the question."
Sheppard's shoulders slumped a bit, and Rodney felt like a heel. Wait, did he just…he did. Oh. My. God. His eyes went so wide he almost dropped his drink. "No. I...do. I'm horribly jealous. Horribly."
The head shake seemed so sad, Rodney's head didn't even spin. In fact, he was sobering up at an alarming rate.
"I'm sorry, Rodney, I wish I could believe that." Sheppard dropped his gaze and looked at Rodney through his ridiculous lashes. "I guess I'll see you in the morning, McKay." With that, Sheppard turned and headed for his quarters.
Rodney's mouth fell open, and he could've just kicked himself. Rodney, you idiot. Go after him.
It felt like someone shoved him in the middle of the back, the way he lurched forward. "Major Sheppard, Sheppard, John. Wait."
But Sheppard kept on walking. "I'm sorry. I'm just not that kind of girl."
Fine, great, whatever. Rodney McKay didn't give up that easy. He followed Sheppard through the corridors, trying to explain, how Teyla had said he was jealous, and how he'd worked out that Sheppard wasn't interested in him. "I kept trying to deny it, but I can't, all right? I can't. I want you."
A hand snaked out and grabbed him by the shirt. "Good. I'm glad we've got that cleared up. I want you, too. Now shut up and get in here."
Rodney blinked. They were standing outside Sheppard's quarters, and Sheppard, John, was smiling that adorable half-smile that made him look like a twelve-year old who'd built an A-bomb. "I'm sorry, did you just say…?"
So green up close. I never realized-- Heat and wet on his mouth cut off the thought, and then heat and wet became lips and tongue and frantic. The door slammed closed behind them and Sheppard, oh my god, John, pressed him up against the door, rubbing against him and making the most amazing sounds, and…
Rodney blinked. Mouth dry, paradoxically, since it'd just been filled with wet tongue, John's wet, eager tongue, Rodney tried to force his brain to form words. "Why did you stop?"
On his way to his knees, Sheppard smacked him in the shoulder. "You know, McKay, for a genius, you can be a real idiot."
Fandom: SGA
Characters/Pairing: McShep
Rating: R for language and adult situations
Spoilers: general and character spoilers thr/ present.
Disclaimer: So very much not mine, even when I wish they were. Blame Acme-Shark if you don't like them. Dialogue from #1 is taken directly from "Suspicion".
Author's Notes: for elliejane from a 5 Things Meme. Thanks to genaschuyler for the beta and to just_katarin for all the usual handholding.
Word count: 2078
Summary: He's not interested in John Sheppard; he's not. So what if Dr. Ruth Emmagan thinks otherwise. What does she know?
not. Except for how he totally is.'>
"Oh, sure, take the puppy," Rodney muttered as Major Sheppard took off on yet another planetary reconnaissance flight with Lieutenant Ford.
Standing beside him, Teyla didn't actually speak, but the lift of her eyebrow indicated her amusement.
Eyes closing, he pressed his hand to his forehead. "God, what is wrong with me?"
Teyla spoke softly. "I believe you are jealous of Lieutenant Ford."
"Thank you so much for that insightful analysis, Dr. Ruth." Rodney rolled his eyes. "And why would I be jealous of Lieutenant Ford?"
Teyla's chest, her very well-endowed chest, lifted, and her mouth, her very pretty mouth, opened, but he held up his hand to halt her speech. "No, wait, don't answer that. Let me clear this up for you. I'm not the slightest bit interested in Major Sheppard, therefore I have absolutely no reason to be jealous."
1. Teyla (from "Suspicion")
"What the hell is this?"
Had anyone ever gotten that angry on his behalf? Rodney made an appeasing gesture. "I know how it looks. It was a special request from Sergeant Bates."
Sheppard's jaw ticked and his fists clenched. "I'm gonna bust that son of a bitch."
"Major..."
Rodney could almost hear the "Look, McKay," before Sheppard stated unequivocally, "Teyla has nothing to do with this."
"The thing is, he was right."
Sheppard's stare pierced him. He didn't look the slightest bit convinced. "Bates was right?"
"I know. I was as surprised as you are. Look at this." He held out the locket, and when Sheppard took it from him, he said, "It's her locket. It's a transmitter." With a wave of his hand, he indicated the computer screen that revealed the internal scan of the locket. "It's been broadcasting a continuous signal. I wouldn't even have noticed if I hadn't been looking for it specifically."
Sheppard sighed. "I found it."
"What?"
Mulish stubbornness plain on his face, the major explained. "Back on her planet, the first time we met. Teyla took me to the old ruins. That was half buried in dirt. I gave it to her."
And in Major John Sheppard's mind that was enough. Clearly. Obviously Teyla couldn't have planted it there for him to find. Because he believed in her.
Yes, fine, it just so happened he agreed with him. But that was so far beyond the point. He'd shown Sheppard physical proof, and he'd disregarded it. For Teyla.
Oh, what did he care? Sheppard and Teyla could conduct a torrid affair and fuck all over Atlantis. It would just be nice if, for once, Sheppard took him at his word.
2. Chaya Sar
After they'd received Sheppard's full report, and learned a few details he'd left out of the official document, Rodney asked to speak to Elizabeth. Alone, thank you very much.
When the balcony doors had shut, Rodney turned to Elizabeth. "Well, I think it's clear enough she messed with his mind."
"What are you saying, Rodney? Major Sheppard seems fine to me." Her brow wrinkled unappealingly when she frowned.
"She must have. Otherwise, what does he see in her?"
Elizabeth laughed. "Aside from the fact that she's beautiful, Rodney? I expect there's an allure to her being an Ancient. Someone who understands what it's like to have the power of Atlantis at his fingertips."
"Hey, I have the ATA gene now." Pursing his lips, Rodney set his hands on his hips. "I can fly a puddlejumper, and you don't see him running off to 'share himself' with me."
"I don't think you want me to answer that, Rodney." Her head dipped a fraction, unsuccessfully hiding a knowing smile.
Great. That was just great. "I didn't mean, oh never mind what I didn't mean. I am not attracted to Major Sheppard."
"I didn't say you were, Rodney." But rich amusement warmed her voice.
"I just think he could've found someone a little safer to..." He stopped himself just short of clapping his hands together, gesturing vaguely instead, then shrugged. "You know."
3. Elizabeth
He and Zelenka - at least he finally remembered the Czech's name - had identified three new critical command codes for the jumpers. Sheppard would want to know about military applications, and Rodney needed to eat.
He contacted Sheppard over the comm system. "Major, I've made some interesting discoveries today. If you'd like to meet me for dinner I could -"
"Listen McKay, I'd like to, but I'm kinda busy tonight."
"Oh, of course, well, if you'd contact me when you're free, I'll bring you up to speed."
"Sure thing, Rodney."
Well, that was just great. Rodney saved Atlantis fifteen times per week, worked overtime to learn everything he could about Major Sheppard's precious jumpers, but the man was "kinda busy."
Fine. At least there'd be no one asking stupid questions while he ate.
Over dinner, he most certainly did not wonder what kept Major Sheppard "kinda busy tonight". He couldn't have cared less.
So, when later, he found Sheppard on the balcony with Elizabeth, talking in low tones, with their heads close together, it didn't matter at all.
And that twinge in his stomach was obviously a sign he should've stuck to MREs.
4. Ronon
The wormhole wouldn't engage, and yes, they'd tried different Gates. He wasn't a moron, thank you very much. In fact, Rodney had tried everything he could think of, and about a hundred things the brilliant Samantha Carter had thought of, and a couple of things the crazy Czech had thought of despite them having less than no chance of success. And the wormhole still wouldn't engage.
Elizabeth, in typical Elizabeth fashion, called a conference to discuss the problem.
"I have heard of such things happening on other worlds," Teyla said calmly.
"Would've been nice to know that before I spent three days trying to fix it," Rodney muttered. At a look from Elizabeth, he rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay. So, what do we do?"
"Wait."
Rodney turned to stare at Ronon. "What?"
"When I ran, sometimes the Gates didn't work. I hid and waited." Ronon shrugged. "It worked again."
"It worked again?" Rodney couldn't believe what he was - "It worked again. So we're just supposed to sit here and wait for it to work again." Great. He was surrounded by idiots.
"Take it easy, McKay." Sheppard came to Ronon's defense, the way he always did. Really, what'd Ronon ever done to earn Sheppard's loyalty?
Besides that whole 'great with guns' thing. Sheesh.
"Fine," said Elizabeth. "We wait. Until the Gate is operational, I'm recommending everyone take a few days off to relax and have some fun. Dismissed."
By the time Rodney had gathered up his research, returned to his quarters and decided to go find Sheppard to see what he had planned, the hallway resounded with the even thud of running feet. He peered out around the doorframe, and caught sight of Major Sheppard, sweat-soaked and panting.
And where Colonel Sheppard would be, of course Ronon would be right behind him. Or in front of him, most likely kneeling, with his mouth around Sheppard's dick and - The thought provoked a growl.
God. He really needed to get laid. That was all it was. Really.
5. Carson
Their new allies made excellent liquor. The best. Ever. Better than Canadian beer.
Good enough he definitely didn't care that Colonel Sheppard and Dr. Beckett seemed to be dancing. It looked more like grappling than dancing, but he couldn't figure out why Carson, who liked everyone, would be trying to drag Sheppard to the ground, so it had to be dancing.
"I'll have another one of these-" What did they call this stuff again anyway? "Oos…Ooska-" He waved a hand toward the big jug. "That stuff."
"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Rodney."
"I'm fine, Elizabeth."
She shook her head, and his swam trying to keep up. "You heard the man, Belal."
"Yes, Belal. You heard me." Rodney nodded and his head swam more. Okay, maybe not such a good idea. The nodding. The drinking was an excellent idea.
"McKay!" Colonel Sheppard appeared as Elizabeth left, all smiles for his good buddy Rodney. His good friend who could always be counted on to save Atlantis but wasn't good enough to take to bed Rodney. "Cheers, to a job well done."
"Yes. A job well done." He couldn't seem to remember. "Which job was that again?"
"The shield, Rodney, the one you made for these nice people." Sheppard tilted his head toward the crowd, and Rodney remembered just in time not to follow his head movement.
Nodding, bad. "Ohhh, right. That. Excellent work, Colonel Sheppard."
Sheppard puffed out a little laugh, left corner of his mouth quirking, wry. "Maybe I should get you back to your room, Rodney."
"No, no, I'm fine. You should get back to Dr. Beckett. He'll be waiting for you." Rodney felt rather proud of himself for that. Why he should, since he had no feelings for Colonel Sheppard, he didn't know, but he did.
"Uh, Rodney?"
At the dubious arched eyebrow, Rodney clapped him on the shoulder. "Really, it's perfectly all right. I'm not jealous at all, not in the slightest."
"Let me get this straight." Sheppard looked confused, and underneath the liquid happiness of strong drink, Rodney's stomach flipped over wondering if maybe he'd misjudged. "You're not jealous of me and Carson, because you think we're…?" He cocked his head, eyebrow lifting again.
"Dancing. Involved. Intimate." Rodney put on his best 'totally not jealous' smile. "You know."
"Actually, no, no I don't. Carson was drunk off his ass and I helped him back to his room. But that's all right, I think I understand the gist. Which is that you're not jealous."
Rodney was starting to get a little annoyed, even if Sheppard and Beckett weren't an item, it didn't matter. He'd said it three times already. "No. I'm not jealous."
"Well, gee, Rodney, that's kinda too bad."
Now it was Rodney's turn to be confused. "It is? Why?"
"Well, you see, Rodney, I came over here to invite you back to my quarters. I thought maybe we could have a drink, talk, I could suck your cock, but if you're not jealous, then that means you don't have any feelings for me. So, I guess that's out of the question."
Sheppard's shoulders slumped a bit, and Rodney felt like a heel. Wait, did he just…he did. Oh. My. God. His eyes went so wide he almost dropped his drink. "No. I...do. I'm horribly jealous. Horribly."
The head shake seemed so sad, Rodney's head didn't even spin. In fact, he was sobering up at an alarming rate.
"I'm sorry, Rodney, I wish I could believe that." Sheppard dropped his gaze and looked at Rodney through his ridiculous lashes. "I guess I'll see you in the morning, McKay." With that, Sheppard turned and headed for his quarters.
Rodney's mouth fell open, and he could've just kicked himself. Rodney, you idiot. Go after him.
It felt like someone shoved him in the middle of the back, the way he lurched forward. "Major Sheppard, Sheppard, John. Wait."
But Sheppard kept on walking. "I'm sorry. I'm just not that kind of girl."
Fine, great, whatever. Rodney McKay didn't give up that easy. He followed Sheppard through the corridors, trying to explain, how Teyla had said he was jealous, and how he'd worked out that Sheppard wasn't interested in him. "I kept trying to deny it, but I can't, all right? I can't. I want you."
A hand snaked out and grabbed him by the shirt. "Good. I'm glad we've got that cleared up. I want you, too. Now shut up and get in here."
Rodney blinked. They were standing outside Sheppard's quarters, and Sheppard, John, was smiling that adorable half-smile that made him look like a twelve-year old who'd built an A-bomb. "I'm sorry, did you just say…?"
So green up close. I never realized-- Heat and wet on his mouth cut off the thought, and then heat and wet became lips and tongue and frantic. The door slammed closed behind them and Sheppard, oh my god, John, pressed him up against the door, rubbing against him and making the most amazing sounds, and…
Rodney blinked. Mouth dry, paradoxically, since it'd just been filled with wet tongue, John's wet, eager tongue, Rodney tried to force his brain to form words. "Why did you stop?"
On his way to his knees, Sheppard smacked him in the shoulder. "You know, McKay, for a genius, you can be a real idiot."