zilch
your writing is beautiful.
you've disappeared completely and i suppose it is my fault, for being foolish enough to believe that we were good friends and that i made a significant impact on your life. i supose i was disposable. you have a boyfriend and you have your school and you have your job that you are so immersed in, because i know it gives you an intangible satisfaction that not many jobs are able to offer. i know i'm being too sentimental. but. i miss you, nonetheless.
*
i left my old job. the one that i dragged myself to everyday. the one that denied any shred of ingenuity and talent that i have. the one that was a banal conundrum to my very existence. the one that gave a me a salary more than anyone my age that i knew, but provided no trampoline or any form of jumpstart to my future career. then now i'm looking for a new job. that's normally the case. but then. i realize. i have absolutley nothing to my name. i have no accomplishments, nothing published. zilch experience in the industry that i am aiming to work in. all those years in retail leading to abso-fucking-lutely nothing. i am the scum beneath the earth's crater wanting to grow grass when all these years i've been tending to a fiery pit, hoping that it could be chalked up for some "experience" brownie points.
wait, why did i join the green star army again? oh yes. the yusof ishaks.
it all boils down to how many printed papers you get of a dead malay president you can land in your hands.
But i haven't given up all hope.
well, at least not yet.
you've disappeared completely and i suppose it is my fault, for being foolish enough to believe that we were good friends and that i made a significant impact on your life. i supose i was disposable. you have a boyfriend and you have your school and you have your job that you are so immersed in, because i know it gives you an intangible satisfaction that not many jobs are able to offer. i know i'm being too sentimental. but. i miss you, nonetheless.
*
i left my old job. the one that i dragged myself to everyday. the one that denied any shred of ingenuity and talent that i have. the one that was a banal conundrum to my very existence. the one that gave a me a salary more than anyone my age that i knew, but provided no trampoline or any form of jumpstart to my future career. then now i'm looking for a new job. that's normally the case. but then. i realize. i have absolutley nothing to my name. i have no accomplishments, nothing published. zilch experience in the industry that i am aiming to work in. all those years in retail leading to abso-fucking-lutely nothing. i am the scum beneath the earth's crater wanting to grow grass when all these years i've been tending to a fiery pit, hoping that it could be chalked up for some "experience" brownie points.
wait, why did i join the green star army again? oh yes. the yusof ishaks.
it all boils down to how many printed papers you get of a dead malay president you can land in your hands.
But i haven't given up all hope.
well, at least not yet.