Loneliness
Sometimes I get over stimulated and just need to break away from my friends to be alone, but other times I feel the opposite way.
Growing up I never wanted to have friends. When I was in grade school, my parents forced me to play with other kids. They asked me to make a list of people in my class that I would like to play with, but I couldn’t. One of my parents realized that they needed to rephrase the question and asked me to make a list of people in my class I would hate least to play with.
Every few years I would find one or two kids my age that I liked to hang out with. Each time, I would run the relationship into the ground. I would either want to play too often or my personality would finally annoy them enough to make them hate me. Without fail, I’ve changed my main group of friends every few years.
I’m not really sure what will happen now that I’m in college. I hope I’ll be able to stick with my friends because I’ve finally found a group of people that I’m really similar to.
But even though I have friends, I don’t feel comfortable talking with most of them. Sure, we hang out and have a good time on weekends, sometimes we study together for classes that we share, and we eat our meals together, but I can’t bring myself to have a meaningful conversation.
There are a few people I talk to, but they can’t always be there for me. They have their own lives and work to do. They have their own problems, they don’t need mine too. The hardest part I’ve found about being single is not having someone who can always listen to me and who I can always listen to.
I want to thank those who listen to me and tell them that I will always listen to them if they want to talk. And don’t feel guilty that I’m lonely. It’s not your job to keep me company.
Growing up I never wanted to have friends. When I was in grade school, my parents forced me to play with other kids. They asked me to make a list of people in my class that I would like to play with, but I couldn’t. One of my parents realized that they needed to rephrase the question and asked me to make a list of people in my class I would hate least to play with.
Every few years I would find one or two kids my age that I liked to hang out with. Each time, I would run the relationship into the ground. I would either want to play too often or my personality would finally annoy them enough to make them hate me. Without fail, I’ve changed my main group of friends every few years.
I’m not really sure what will happen now that I’m in college. I hope I’ll be able to stick with my friends because I’ve finally found a group of people that I’m really similar to.
But even though I have friends, I don’t feel comfortable talking with most of them. Sure, we hang out and have a good time on weekends, sometimes we study together for classes that we share, and we eat our meals together, but I can’t bring myself to have a meaningful conversation.
There are a few people I talk to, but they can’t always be there for me. They have their own lives and work to do. They have their own problems, they don’t need mine too. The hardest part I’ve found about being single is not having someone who can always listen to me and who I can always listen to.
I want to thank those who listen to me and tell them that I will always listen to them if they want to talk. And don’t feel guilty that I’m lonely. It’s not your job to keep me company.