Flawless [ryan/z/brendon][s/a]
Title: Flawless
Pairing/Character(s): Ryan Ross/Z Berg/Brendon Urie
Rating: R (some people might say NC-17)
Summary: It’s that ‘togetherness’. The way that they all just can’t hide their smiles in each other’s presence. It’s the way Z says, There you are, where have you been? and how she says it endearingly, kissing Brendon’s cheek as he presses himself against her side.
Warning: Three-way relationships
Beta: n/a
Word Count: 2,313
A/N: For chokeonirony because she is ah~mazing and we have the same taste in pairings/bands like forever.
Z smells like cigarettes and uncertainty, and in all honesty, that’s the way Ryan likes it. She smells dirty and on the edge as she arches up against him, something about the way she writhes without a sound being beautiful. Her mouth twists into a grimace as he pushes himself further inside of her but she doesn’t make a sound - her mouth is slightly agape, but nothing comes out. Ryan kisses her neck lightly, trailing down to her collar bone as his hips work, trying to figure out.
He strokes a thumb up her arm and she shudders, taking a deep breath. He lets the same thumb play over her jaw, pushing her mouth shut. In the dimness he notices how her eyes flutter shut and she bites her lips. She still doesn’t make a noise, simply wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him closer. She shudders again as he traces his lips over her eyelids, and something about the way she pushes up against him makes his hips stutter.
He comes with a sharp gasp, followed by a low moan (he doesn’t mean for it to sound like that, all sultry and deep) as he snaps his hips against her, possibly bruising her thighs with the force. But he feels her come too, eyes shut lightly in bliss.
Only then does she pull him down for a kiss.
--
Maybe it’s the way Z twists her hair through her fingers or the way she puckers her lips when she leans forward to kiss Tennessee or Alex on the cheek. Maybe it’s the clothes she wears, maybe it’s her laugh which echoes through empty stadiums when no one’s around to hear it.
But, no matter what it is, it doesn’t change the fact that Brendon’s really attracted to this girl. It’s in a totally different way than he’s been attracted to any other girl - in Audrey’s case, it was kind of forced. And there was a lot of yelling, even when he did think she looked great.
Still, it’s not so much that Z’s beautiful - she is - but it’s more about the way she acts.
She’s not afraid of anything. Yet she doesn’t stake claims to make herself seem better than anyone else. She’s all about being who she is and yet keeping her mouth shut about it. She doesn’t need anyone else telling her she looks great in that new dress - she already knows.
That’s what catches Brendon’s eye.
It’s one of those dinners, Brendon doesn’t really remember - it might have been in August, after Honda Civic Tour - it might have been something they had where Keltie was sitting next to Ryan in that pink dress and Haley next to Spencer. But it might have been a completely other night.
All Brendon remembers is Z sitting across from Ryan, next to Alex, actually. She was wearing a lavender dress (maybe it was darker, he just doesn’t know) and Ryan had smiled at her from across the table and said That dress looks great on you, Z. Brendon remembers only really looking at Z just then, blinking because no one complimented Z and Ryan didn’t give out free compliments very often, either. He remembers Z scowling at Ryan for a moment and then smiling as if she accepted what he said. Maybe she had said a snarky I know, and Brendon just doesn’t remember it anymore, but he does remember short bouts of laughter and maybe he even remembers Keltie leaning over Ryan’s shoulder and whispering something in his ear.
And maybe Brendon remembers thinking Everything is going downhill from here, as if the occasion was consistently evil and nothing good could come from it. As if he could see into the future.
--
When Ryan does finally ask Z, it’s with a fierce nervousness that only he can manage. It’s him stuttering and kind of not knowing what to say, and then the way she smiles at him and shakes her head.
You don’t need to impress me, she had said, and he had gulped. I already know you inside and out. She had leaned forward and pulled him into a tight embrace - not just a hug, they’d shared hundreds of hugs before - and pressed her lips to his ear, her voice whispering, hauntingly As long as you know you’re not ‘the one’.
And even though Z didn’t put air quotes around ‘the one’ he knew that she was quoting because of the way she emphasized and smiled against his skin and then began to laugh.
Buy me a drink for our first date, she had told him. You’re going on tour, so give me the world before you up and disappear.
And so, he did.
--
“Your hands are much too soft,” Brendon whispers, and maybe he’s trying to be romantic as he threads his fingers with Ryan’s. Ryan doesn’t seem to notice, his eyes half-closed as he simply looks at Brendon.
Until he finally mumbles, “Your face is much too beautiful.”
Brendon smiles, not really sure why (it’s sentimental, he supposes) and scoots himself closer to Ryan - he twists his leg around Ryan so he’s straddling him sideways. Ryan sighs, closing his eyes completely as Brendon kisses him, warm and open-mouthed. Ryan sighs again, this time against Brendon’s skin, and then he whispers an apology, a short and subtle, “I’m sorry,” but Brendon pretends like it didn’t even happen.
--
When Brendon kisses Z for the first time it’s sloppy and so, so wrong. She’s Ryan’s girlfriend - kissing Z is like if he had kissed Keltie (that was only one time, he tells himself, and they both swore never to tell anyone in solemn voices in Ryan’s closet when he had been out getting them McDonalds), and that was wrong. Totally wrong.
She’s fucking initiating it though, laughing at his jokes which are definitely not funny and fluttering her eyelashes. She poises her mouth just perfect and leans closer to him, resting her chin in her hands.
She’s such a goddamn girl, and something about that makes him lean forward and kiss her forcefully. And something about her makes her not pull back and slap him (he half-expected it for about twenty seconds until they were full-blown making out, both of them not even caring). She just kisses him back and it’s kind of bliss.
“Hey, I brought the pop…”
It’s kind of like an awkward teen movie, like when the father walks in on the nerdy kid on top of the cheerleader.
It’s Brendon’s first thought and he bursts into a fit of giggles, crawling back across the couch that he’s sharing with Z who looks stunned (why? Ryan had only left for a moment). He buries his face into his hands and suddenly the laughter becomes so hysterical that it turns into sobs.
Ryan and Z share a glance, something that communicates so easily that they don’t need to say anything. Ryan sets the popcorn down and crouches next to Brendon, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Brendon immediately cowers and presses his damp face to Ryan’s shoulder, sobs weak and body quivering.
Z folds her knees to her chest and swallows back her own tears, the mucus building in her throat as the water stings her eyes.
It’s not that she’s sad.
It’s just that seeing Brendon falling apart for no real reason is breaking her apart. But she can’t cry, because Ryan’s already dealing with one broken heart.
And that’s not including his own.
--
Maybe she doesn’t belong here. She’s heard it before, how the first time Ryan and Brendon…she doesn’t know how to explain it, was on this beach, Myrtle Beach, during a tour. It’s weird to be back there, with both of them at her sides, Ryan reaching for her hand and Brendon hovering at her other side, just breathing in the saltwater breeze and not trying to make a big deal.
Z turns. “Do you guys know exactly where? Someone should make it a monument, you know.” Her voice is too loud for the quiet beach, nearly empty at the hour (it’s only seven o’clock but it feels late because of the bleeding of the pinks and oranges and reds into the sky, and the light breeze). “You know, like…” Z hesitates, but neither of them say anything, tell her to stop. “Something that says ‘Ryan fucked a virgin Brendon for the first time right here’. It would be a giant, rainbow colored sign and it would have your faces on it. And most no one would actually know who you were.”
Ryan shoves his hands into his jeans pockets (jeans on a beach - further proof that he’s fucking insane) and looks at the sand, eyes training over to Brendon’s flip flops and Capri pants (really, they’re just jeans, hastily rolled up).
“Isn’t it weird?” Z continues, spinning on spot and then sinking down into the sand slowly - she doesn’t want to ruin her dress but then again she can hardly bring it to herself to care. “Thousands of people listen to your music, daily, even…but if you brought together a majority, most would just arch an eyebrow and wouldn’t be able to match a face to a name. You’re not anyone special. And…” She pauses, turning to look down the beach as the sun continues its decent down the horizon. “Neither am I.”
Brendon is first to sit next to her, resting his head in her lap. “’M sorry,” he murmurs as she twists her fingers into his hair. “Sorry we’re no one…”
Z leans down and kisses his hair as Ryan settles down on her other side. He doesn’t get quite as affectionate, instead just resting his hand over Z’s on Brendon’s head. Brendon makes a soft noise in the back of his throat, encouraging, and Z laughs softly.
“I’d be sad without you guys,” Brendon whispers, opening his eyes and sending them each an individual glances. He smiles. “But I’m not sad because I have you.”
Ryan shakes his head. “Even if you didn’t have us,” he says quietly, “you’d have someone else.”
Brendon shrugs. “Not one person would be as good,” he promises. Or at least that’s what it sounds like. “And I don’t have to worry about that…I already know that if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be happy…because if you disappeared…well, I wouldn’t be happy.”
Ryan chuckles but doesn’t argue.
--
They make it work, somehow. Three totally different people in three totally different bands. Well, in the Young Veins and The Like’s case, it’s not exactly totally different. But still - they have different tour dates and schedules and a couple of out there performances - a couple combined with Z and Ryan, and then there’s many more in Brendon’s case.
Brendon shrugs when Ryan asks why they haven’t gotten members to officially take over the spots as bass and guitar.
“I can play bass, so recording the album wasn’t that hard,” he half-laughs, because it reminds him of Fever and how Brent couldn’t even play the parts. “And, you probably never knew, but I play a bit of guitar, too.” Brendon laughs at his own joke and Ryan smiles a little, though it’s damaging. Brendon is playing all of the parts he might have once.
It’s kind of like they switched places, actually. Ryan’s now singing lead and playing rhythm. Then again, so is Brendon. He’s just working twice as hard.
“So the record’s gonna be off the wall, right?”
“Totally,” Brendon says with a deep, satisfied sigh. “We’ve been working on it for months, tweaking everything, making it perfect…” Brendon trails off as Ryan crawls over the bed and straddles his hips, hesitating as they make eye contact. Brendon just blinks and Ryan shrugs to himself, kissing Brendon’s cheek and then mouth.
“That explains a lot, huh?” Ryan whispers against the shell of Brendon’s ear. “You’ve become a perfectionist.”
“Not quite,” Brendon breathes back, feeling his heart beating steady in his chest. “If I was a perfectionist then I couldn’t have you…or Z.” He adds it as almost an afterthought, but it seems to fit.
“No…” Ryan admits. “No you couldn’t.”
--
When they finally all see each other again, it takes Ryan quite a while to get Jon to go out.
“You sure you don’t want to come with?” His suspicion further proves the fact that Ryan sucks at acting.
“Yeah, Z and I are just going to hang out here for tonight. We’re sick of going out.”
Z has to hold her tongue to keep from laughing, but she nods solemnly, snuggling into Ryan’s side. He lets an arm slip subtlety around her waist and she hums, noticing.
“Well, fine…I guess I’ll see you guys later.”
They nod him off and as soon as he’s out the door Ryan whips out his iPhone, sending Brendon a quick text.
The front door opens approximately seven minutes later (the episode of Spongebob Ryan had turned on to pass the time is almost over) and Brendon hops in, pulling off his shoes before he’s completely in the threshold.
It’s that ‘togetherness’. The way that they all just can’t hide their smiles in each other’s presence. It’s the way Z says, There you are, where have you been? and how she says it endearingly, kissing Brendon’s cheek as he presses himself against her side.
It’s all of those things, plus Spongebob wondering what he should name his seahorse (“I think I’ll call her Debbie,”), that make the moment seem sort of priceless.
Z smiles and presses her nose into Ryan’s neck. “I wouldn’t trade you two for the world,” she half-whispers, but even with her quiet tone she knows they hear her by the way they both come closer, almost as if trying to protect her, even if only for a minute or two.
Pairing/Character(s): Ryan Ross/Z Berg/Brendon Urie
Rating: R (some people might say NC-17)
Summary: It’s that ‘togetherness’. The way that they all just can’t hide their smiles in each other’s presence. It’s the way Z says, There you are, where have you been? and how she says it endearingly, kissing Brendon’s cheek as he presses himself against her side.
Warning: Three-way relationships
Beta: n/a
Word Count: 2,313
A/N: For chokeonirony because she is ah~mazing and we have the same taste in pairings/bands like forever.
Z smells like cigarettes and uncertainty, and in all honesty, that’s the way Ryan likes it. She smells dirty and on the edge as she arches up against him, something about the way she writhes without a sound being beautiful. Her mouth twists into a grimace as he pushes himself further inside of her but she doesn’t make a sound - her mouth is slightly agape, but nothing comes out. Ryan kisses her neck lightly, trailing down to her collar bone as his hips work, trying to figure out.
He strokes a thumb up her arm and she shudders, taking a deep breath. He lets the same thumb play over her jaw, pushing her mouth shut. In the dimness he notices how her eyes flutter shut and she bites her lips. She still doesn’t make a noise, simply wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him closer. She shudders again as he traces his lips over her eyelids, and something about the way she pushes up against him makes his hips stutter.
He comes with a sharp gasp, followed by a low moan (he doesn’t mean for it to sound like that, all sultry and deep) as he snaps his hips against her, possibly bruising her thighs with the force. But he feels her come too, eyes shut lightly in bliss.
Only then does she pull him down for a kiss.
--
Maybe it’s the way Z twists her hair through her fingers or the way she puckers her lips when she leans forward to kiss Tennessee or Alex on the cheek. Maybe it’s the clothes she wears, maybe it’s her laugh which echoes through empty stadiums when no one’s around to hear it.
But, no matter what it is, it doesn’t change the fact that Brendon’s really attracted to this girl. It’s in a totally different way than he’s been attracted to any other girl - in Audrey’s case, it was kind of forced. And there was a lot of yelling, even when he did think she looked great.
Still, it’s not so much that Z’s beautiful - she is - but it’s more about the way she acts.
She’s not afraid of anything. Yet she doesn’t stake claims to make herself seem better than anyone else. She’s all about being who she is and yet keeping her mouth shut about it. She doesn’t need anyone else telling her she looks great in that new dress - she already knows.
That’s what catches Brendon’s eye.
It’s one of those dinners, Brendon doesn’t really remember - it might have been in August, after Honda Civic Tour - it might have been something they had where Keltie was sitting next to Ryan in that pink dress and Haley next to Spencer. But it might have been a completely other night.
All Brendon remembers is Z sitting across from Ryan, next to Alex, actually. She was wearing a lavender dress (maybe it was darker, he just doesn’t know) and Ryan had smiled at her from across the table and said That dress looks great on you, Z. Brendon remembers only really looking at Z just then, blinking because no one complimented Z and Ryan didn’t give out free compliments very often, either. He remembers Z scowling at Ryan for a moment and then smiling as if she accepted what he said. Maybe she had said a snarky I know, and Brendon just doesn’t remember it anymore, but he does remember short bouts of laughter and maybe he even remembers Keltie leaning over Ryan’s shoulder and whispering something in his ear.
And maybe Brendon remembers thinking Everything is going downhill from here, as if the occasion was consistently evil and nothing good could come from it. As if he could see into the future.
--
When Ryan does finally ask Z, it’s with a fierce nervousness that only he can manage. It’s him stuttering and kind of not knowing what to say, and then the way she smiles at him and shakes her head.
You don’t need to impress me, she had said, and he had gulped. I already know you inside and out. She had leaned forward and pulled him into a tight embrace - not just a hug, they’d shared hundreds of hugs before - and pressed her lips to his ear, her voice whispering, hauntingly As long as you know you’re not ‘the one’.
And even though Z didn’t put air quotes around ‘the one’ he knew that she was quoting because of the way she emphasized and smiled against his skin and then began to laugh.
Buy me a drink for our first date, she had told him. You’re going on tour, so give me the world before you up and disappear.
And so, he did.
--
“Your hands are much too soft,” Brendon whispers, and maybe he’s trying to be romantic as he threads his fingers with Ryan’s. Ryan doesn’t seem to notice, his eyes half-closed as he simply looks at Brendon.
Until he finally mumbles, “Your face is much too beautiful.”
Brendon smiles, not really sure why (it’s sentimental, he supposes) and scoots himself closer to Ryan - he twists his leg around Ryan so he’s straddling him sideways. Ryan sighs, closing his eyes completely as Brendon kisses him, warm and open-mouthed. Ryan sighs again, this time against Brendon’s skin, and then he whispers an apology, a short and subtle, “I’m sorry,” but Brendon pretends like it didn’t even happen.
--
When Brendon kisses Z for the first time it’s sloppy and so, so wrong. She’s Ryan’s girlfriend - kissing Z is like if he had kissed Keltie (that was only one time, he tells himself, and they both swore never to tell anyone in solemn voices in Ryan’s closet when he had been out getting them McDonalds), and that was wrong. Totally wrong.
She’s fucking initiating it though, laughing at his jokes which are definitely not funny and fluttering her eyelashes. She poises her mouth just perfect and leans closer to him, resting her chin in her hands.
She’s such a goddamn girl, and something about that makes him lean forward and kiss her forcefully. And something about her makes her not pull back and slap him (he half-expected it for about twenty seconds until they were full-blown making out, both of them not even caring). She just kisses him back and it’s kind of bliss.
“Hey, I brought the pop…”
It’s kind of like an awkward teen movie, like when the father walks in on the nerdy kid on top of the cheerleader.
It’s Brendon’s first thought and he bursts into a fit of giggles, crawling back across the couch that he’s sharing with Z who looks stunned (why? Ryan had only left for a moment). He buries his face into his hands and suddenly the laughter becomes so hysterical that it turns into sobs.
Ryan and Z share a glance, something that communicates so easily that they don’t need to say anything. Ryan sets the popcorn down and crouches next to Brendon, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Brendon immediately cowers and presses his damp face to Ryan’s shoulder, sobs weak and body quivering.
Z folds her knees to her chest and swallows back her own tears, the mucus building in her throat as the water stings her eyes.
It’s not that she’s sad.
It’s just that seeing Brendon falling apart for no real reason is breaking her apart. But she can’t cry, because Ryan’s already dealing with one broken heart.
And that’s not including his own.
--
Maybe she doesn’t belong here. She’s heard it before, how the first time Ryan and Brendon…she doesn’t know how to explain it, was on this beach, Myrtle Beach, during a tour. It’s weird to be back there, with both of them at her sides, Ryan reaching for her hand and Brendon hovering at her other side, just breathing in the saltwater breeze and not trying to make a big deal.
Z turns. “Do you guys know exactly where? Someone should make it a monument, you know.” Her voice is too loud for the quiet beach, nearly empty at the hour (it’s only seven o’clock but it feels late because of the bleeding of the pinks and oranges and reds into the sky, and the light breeze). “You know, like…” Z hesitates, but neither of them say anything, tell her to stop. “Something that says ‘Ryan fucked a virgin Brendon for the first time right here’. It would be a giant, rainbow colored sign and it would have your faces on it. And most no one would actually know who you were.”
Ryan shoves his hands into his jeans pockets (jeans on a beach - further proof that he’s fucking insane) and looks at the sand, eyes training over to Brendon’s flip flops and Capri pants (really, they’re just jeans, hastily rolled up).
“Isn’t it weird?” Z continues, spinning on spot and then sinking down into the sand slowly - she doesn’t want to ruin her dress but then again she can hardly bring it to herself to care. “Thousands of people listen to your music, daily, even…but if you brought together a majority, most would just arch an eyebrow and wouldn’t be able to match a face to a name. You’re not anyone special. And…” She pauses, turning to look down the beach as the sun continues its decent down the horizon. “Neither am I.”
Brendon is first to sit next to her, resting his head in her lap. “’M sorry,” he murmurs as she twists her fingers into his hair. “Sorry we’re no one…”
Z leans down and kisses his hair as Ryan settles down on her other side. He doesn’t get quite as affectionate, instead just resting his hand over Z’s on Brendon’s head. Brendon makes a soft noise in the back of his throat, encouraging, and Z laughs softly.
“I’d be sad without you guys,” Brendon whispers, opening his eyes and sending them each an individual glances. He smiles. “But I’m not sad because I have you.”
Ryan shakes his head. “Even if you didn’t have us,” he says quietly, “you’d have someone else.”
Brendon shrugs. “Not one person would be as good,” he promises. Or at least that’s what it sounds like. “And I don’t have to worry about that…I already know that if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be happy…because if you disappeared…well, I wouldn’t be happy.”
Ryan chuckles but doesn’t argue.
--
They make it work, somehow. Three totally different people in three totally different bands. Well, in the Young Veins and The Like’s case, it’s not exactly totally different. But still - they have different tour dates and schedules and a couple of out there performances - a couple combined with Z and Ryan, and then there’s many more in Brendon’s case.
Brendon shrugs when Ryan asks why they haven’t gotten members to officially take over the spots as bass and guitar.
“I can play bass, so recording the album wasn’t that hard,” he half-laughs, because it reminds him of Fever and how Brent couldn’t even play the parts. “And, you probably never knew, but I play a bit of guitar, too.” Brendon laughs at his own joke and Ryan smiles a little, though it’s damaging. Brendon is playing all of the parts he might have once.
It’s kind of like they switched places, actually. Ryan’s now singing lead and playing rhythm. Then again, so is Brendon. He’s just working twice as hard.
“So the record’s gonna be off the wall, right?”
“Totally,” Brendon says with a deep, satisfied sigh. “We’ve been working on it for months, tweaking everything, making it perfect…” Brendon trails off as Ryan crawls over the bed and straddles his hips, hesitating as they make eye contact. Brendon just blinks and Ryan shrugs to himself, kissing Brendon’s cheek and then mouth.
“That explains a lot, huh?” Ryan whispers against the shell of Brendon’s ear. “You’ve become a perfectionist.”
“Not quite,” Brendon breathes back, feeling his heart beating steady in his chest. “If I was a perfectionist then I couldn’t have you…or Z.” He adds it as almost an afterthought, but it seems to fit.
“No…” Ryan admits. “No you couldn’t.”
--
When they finally all see each other again, it takes Ryan quite a while to get Jon to go out.
“You sure you don’t want to come with?” His suspicion further proves the fact that Ryan sucks at acting.
“Yeah, Z and I are just going to hang out here for tonight. We’re sick of going out.”
Z has to hold her tongue to keep from laughing, but she nods solemnly, snuggling into Ryan’s side. He lets an arm slip subtlety around her waist and she hums, noticing.
“Well, fine…I guess I’ll see you guys later.”
They nod him off and as soon as he’s out the door Ryan whips out his iPhone, sending Brendon a quick text.
The front door opens approximately seven minutes later (the episode of Spongebob Ryan had turned on to pass the time is almost over) and Brendon hops in, pulling off his shoes before he’s completely in the threshold.
It’s that ‘togetherness’. The way that they all just can’t hide their smiles in each other’s presence. It’s the way Z says, There you are, where have you been? and how she says it endearingly, kissing Brendon’s cheek as he presses himself against her side.
It’s all of those things, plus Spongebob wondering what he should name his seahorse (“I think I’ll call her Debbie,”), that make the moment seem sort of priceless.
Z smiles and presses her nose into Ryan’s neck. “I wouldn’t trade you two for the world,” she half-whispers, but even with her quiet tone she knows they hear her by the way they both come closer, almost as if trying to protect her, even if only for a minute or two.