return of the king
I left the house for the first time in four days this evening. i was sick in case you are wondering.
I smelt the city.
I know people say "well smokers kill their sense of smell, blah blah" well that might be right for humans, but it's certainly not the case for me.
I had missed that smell. I won't describe it but i know it. It's a different smell for a different city i know that much too. Melbourne has it's own smell, as does New Orleans, and probably New York, but i was too busy being mugged and sleeping to notice much there.
It also felt strange to be wearing shoes for the first time in four days. Now that was a new and interesting sensation.
I looked at people in the venue and i saw something unfamiliar to me, and i can't really articulate what it was, nor can i explain why i've never noticed it before. It was like i was seeing ghosts or shadows around them. Historys, echoes of the past and the future, maybe. But i knew things.
I knew which people would be important in the course of the evening from the first glance. I knew who would be getting up onto stage, and who would spill a drink, and who would heckle the comics. I caught myself laughing at people from across the room, because i'd read the people around them and understood inherently what was going on.
I don't why i suddenly gained this ability, isolation? Perhaps all the reading of the past few days. Maybe the sickness had changed me somehow, physiologically perhaps. Maybe it was more than a 'flu.
additionally, i felt no anxiety about anything, sarcastic comments, laughing, dancing, drinking beer on an empty stomach. You know, the little anxieties - "oh should i say this, it's a bit offensive and they are my friends maybe i should be a little more polite", and there was no remorse either.
This is interesting and i wonder if it will stay.
And no, i haven't had hallucinaegenic drugs today...
I smelt the city.
I know people say "well smokers kill their sense of smell, blah blah" well that might be right for humans, but it's certainly not the case for me.
I had missed that smell. I won't describe it but i know it. It's a different smell for a different city i know that much too. Melbourne has it's own smell, as does New Orleans, and probably New York, but i was too busy being mugged and sleeping to notice much there.
It also felt strange to be wearing shoes for the first time in four days. Now that was a new and interesting sensation.
I looked at people in the venue and i saw something unfamiliar to me, and i can't really articulate what it was, nor can i explain why i've never noticed it before. It was like i was seeing ghosts or shadows around them. Historys, echoes of the past and the future, maybe. But i knew things.
I knew which people would be important in the course of the evening from the first glance. I knew who would be getting up onto stage, and who would spill a drink, and who would heckle the comics. I caught myself laughing at people from across the room, because i'd read the people around them and understood inherently what was going on.
I don't why i suddenly gained this ability, isolation? Perhaps all the reading of the past few days. Maybe the sickness had changed me somehow, physiologically perhaps. Maybe it was more than a 'flu.
additionally, i felt no anxiety about anything, sarcastic comments, laughing, dancing, drinking beer on an empty stomach. You know, the little anxieties - "oh should i say this, it's a bit offensive and they are my friends maybe i should be a little more polite", and there was no remorse either.
This is interesting and i wonder if it will stay.
And no, i haven't had hallucinaegenic drugs today...