Thoughts about situations
I wonder whether the fact that I don’t have goals etc detracts from my general well being. Perhaps if I had these goals and might aspirations to drive to put a fire in my belly then I’d be happier, especially when I took a step closer to these things. Perhaps it’s a case of me not “daring mighty things”.
Shelley wants me to replace the singer in Jon’s band. It’s something I should definitely try I guess. I still don’t know what she wants from me, and I still can’t figure what the fuck she is doing with that guy. Then again I place myself very neatly into the middle of a firefight if I do that, but then again isn’t that when I’m often at my best?
A warrior heart beats within my chest and an honourable one at that.
What is it that makes me so lazy? Lazy is not the right word - maybe it is. I’m easygoing to a point and then I’m fierce. I like being fierce. I certainly like the idea of being fierce.
Melbourne time again, and as usual I am running away from my problems. Sigh. I haven’t really got any problems, and that is probably also a cause of my malaise. Don’t know if that’s the right word in any case. It will be nice to see the girls again, and lucky Phil.
Maybe I should set some goals. Write something each month. Write something important, or better yet write something I am happy with. Writing this stuff every night is probably good for me, and reading more will do me good as well.
Wow, this far into a journal entry and I haven’t really got into the “girl issue” yet. But there is nothing to say, because there is nothing happening.
Maybe if I did more, I’d be more attractive - rock stars have so much bonus charisma, and they have an outlet to use it. Sounds like a plan. Act more. More avenues to show off. Get over this self inflicted misery, this ennui. Yes, that’s the ticket. I should study, keep the brain thinking, do something to get through this stupid degree. I’ll talk to Madeleine about it.
Blast. Two a.m. again. Need more sleep. Feeling bad about feeding tadpoles to the fish that I don’t even like, oh well, will work something out I’m sure, maybe only get a few of them or something, or just collect them and watch them grow and let them loose once they have grown. I like that idea. Makes me feel like I’m doing something good.
Must catch up my Transmets and HellBlazer. Try to find Pablo if he hasn’t done anything I’ll go get them from Slimey Joe.
Smoking in bed now, last and greatest sign of addiction. I still like smoking. Not sure why, makes me feel rebellious, makes me happy(?). Must live more.
Shelley wants me to replace the singer in Jon’s band. It’s something I should definitely try I guess. I still don’t know what she wants from me, and I still can’t figure what the fuck she is doing with that guy. Then again I place myself very neatly into the middle of a firefight if I do that, but then again isn’t that when I’m often at my best?
A warrior heart beats within my chest and an honourable one at that.
What is it that makes me so lazy? Lazy is not the right word - maybe it is. I’m easygoing to a point and then I’m fierce. I like being fierce. I certainly like the idea of being fierce.
Melbourne time again, and as usual I am running away from my problems. Sigh. I haven’t really got any problems, and that is probably also a cause of my malaise. Don’t know if that’s the right word in any case. It will be nice to see the girls again, and lucky Phil.
Maybe I should set some goals. Write something each month. Write something important, or better yet write something I am happy with. Writing this stuff every night is probably good for me, and reading more will do me good as well.
Wow, this far into a journal entry and I haven’t really got into the “girl issue” yet. But there is nothing to say, because there is nothing happening.
Maybe if I did more, I’d be more attractive - rock stars have so much bonus charisma, and they have an outlet to use it. Sounds like a plan. Act more. More avenues to show off. Get over this self inflicted misery, this ennui. Yes, that’s the ticket. I should study, keep the brain thinking, do something to get through this stupid degree. I’ll talk to Madeleine about it.
Blast. Two a.m. again. Need more sleep. Feeling bad about feeding tadpoles to the fish that I don’t even like, oh well, will work something out I’m sure, maybe only get a few of them or something, or just collect them and watch them grow and let them loose once they have grown. I like that idea. Makes me feel like I’m doing something good.
Must catch up my Transmets and HellBlazer. Try to find Pablo if he hasn’t done anything I’ll go get them from Slimey Joe.
Smoking in bed now, last and greatest sign of addiction. I still like smoking. Not sure why, makes me feel rebellious, makes me happy(?). Must live more.