feels like home...
i guess it's been hard for me. normally there's someone that i can talk to and lean on when things get too much for me, at very least i can rant and rail and have someone who understands listen for a while.
i'm more comfortable allowing my weaknesses be perceived around women than men, and for the last couple of months there's been no-one.
Sage and i don't really talk much, i think it'sw a combination of her not wanting to have the chance to hurt me again, and me not wanting to let her that has almost become some sort of unworded agreement between us. It's awkward, and doesn't quite feel right, but it's better than running those risks again.
Kiska i simply no longer trust. Her self centredness is bad enough, but her rampant carelessness is just too fucking much.
Which leaves fearlessflight we've both been there for each other to catch a fall or just listen in the last couple of years. She's been gone overseas, gallivanting about and breaking hearts and walking the earth and getting in adventures and shit, like Kane in Kung Fu.
What is weird is that here in this pub, that i've been in all of a dozen times, sitting in this corner in front of a poker machine (which i rarely play unless i'm really bored), smoking (because the venue area of the pub is non-smoking), Guinness in hand and waiting for the band to start, suddenly everything felt like home to me. It felt like everything was going back to normal and the last couple of months were just some sort of anomaly, and that i could finally start to go forward again.
And now listening to them sing and play, with couples nearby dancing and swaying and holding each other close, and the lithe Jasmine busting some seriously funky moves nearby, and other standing by tapping their feet or heads or both, this all feels normal. My friends are scattered to the four winds, here and there, but now it's just me.
here and now.
SmokeDamage
The Harp Hotel
Tempe
i'm more comfortable allowing my weaknesses be perceived around women than men, and for the last couple of months there's been no-one.
Sage and i don't really talk much, i think it'sw a combination of her not wanting to have the chance to hurt me again, and me not wanting to let her that has almost become some sort of unworded agreement between us. It's awkward, and doesn't quite feel right, but it's better than running those risks again.
Kiska i simply no longer trust. Her self centredness is bad enough, but her rampant carelessness is just too fucking much.
Which leaves fearlessflight we've both been there for each other to catch a fall or just listen in the last couple of years. She's been gone overseas, gallivanting about and breaking hearts and walking the earth and getting in adventures and shit, like Kane in Kung Fu.
What is weird is that here in this pub, that i've been in all of a dozen times, sitting in this corner in front of a poker machine (which i rarely play unless i'm really bored), smoking (because the venue area of the pub is non-smoking), Guinness in hand and waiting for the band to start, suddenly everything felt like home to me. It felt like everything was going back to normal and the last couple of months were just some sort of anomaly, and that i could finally start to go forward again.
And now listening to them sing and play, with couples nearby dancing and swaying and holding each other close, and the lithe Jasmine busting some seriously funky moves nearby, and other standing by tapping their feet or heads or both, this all feels normal. My friends are scattered to the four winds, here and there, but now it's just me.
here and now.
SmokeDamage
The Harp Hotel
Tempe