It was very close but we had superpowers, remember? I was able to send it in another direction before it hit my face. I'm fine, Noah. You saw me yourself!
I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just didn't see the point in worrying you about something when the crisis itself had been averted. It felt like worrying you pointlessly.
Nothing happened to me. I promise. I'm okay, Noah.
There might've been that initial danger but it was... it was mostly a simulated danger room thing.
Of course I would. I wouldn't want you to keep things from me, I just didn't want to bring it up and you didn't ask specifics and worrying you unnecessarily just felt [fff]
I'm sorry. I'm hoping there won't be a next time but if there is, I will tell you.
Okay. I mean I saw you. I would know if something had happened obviously. It just [fff] It freaked me out. Irrationally.
Yeah, that's right. I saw X-men so that makes sense. I just heard fireball and Rachel in the same sentence, and that's not a combination I'm good at handling.
No, I know. Like I said, I'd feel the same if I was in your position. I wouldn't want to worry you about something that had passed. It's seriously okay. I should have asked for more details, but maybe I was kind of afraid of something like that having happened.
I hope there won't either. I know it's Chicago and it happens but thank you, Rachel. Seriously. I know there's nothing I could do about it if it already happened, but I like knowing. I don't know.
I get it. If the roles were switched I'd have been irrationally freaked out. I think my reaction would've been a lot worse, even.
So thank you for understanding. It was just a really loaded afternoon.
It's okay you didn't. I mean, it's not like I gave any indication anything wrong had happened and by the time I was already home I'd just spent the whole day in other places and I just wanted to spend some time with you without any of that involved.
Is there anything I can do? I feel kind of bad. Aside from this one instance there's honestly nothing I've ever not shared with you. I can't imagine not sharing it with you in the first place.
You should see my responses in Ben's journal to get some idea about my initial reaction. It was worse than this. I knew it was irrational so I tried to give myself a moment to breathe before writing to you.
I do, of course. Yeah, it sounds like it was. I think I sensed that and I didn't want you to have to focus on that anymore considering the whole week was loaded in a way.
You deserved to have some normal hanging out time. We both did, and it was really nice hanging out with you and just being us.
[rjkelajrkel;ajrealrjearleareja fwaugh .-.]
No, you don't have to do anything. Please, don't feel bad. I do want to see you though in the flesh. I already saw you after it all happened and I'm talking to you now, but it'd help.
I know there isn't. It's seriously okay. It was a one time thing and there were weird circumstances. It happens.
Not the best way to find out about that. I don't think it's irrational, for what it's worth. Like I said, I get it, and I don't like that's how you found out so I know I should've told you to begin with even if my intentions were the best ones.
It's okay. You can tell me next time, and if I ever have a fireball flying at me in another universe, I will try my best to tell you but I know I'll have the urge to not do it.
I like that too.
It's my favorite thing.
Okay.
Thanks seriously. We'll just be us again. i don't even have to know anything else about it, just us and safe and
Yeah. I'm really happy you're okay. Obviously. I just You're my best friend, my girlfriend I don't know how I'd
[But ultimately, I know the truth is more important.
That hits, and it makes him impossible for him to write back to her, not with the rest of it swirlign through his stomach until it creates some heavy boulder that pushes down on his gut. Makes it hard to breathe. Noah doesn't expect her to come over when she does.
In fact, he was about to abandon his own journal and go to her house instead, but he is on his way out when she's on her way to him, and he wraps his arms around her as soon as he sees her. Noah pulls her in close, cool skin, strength, body, everything that he knows about her sliding into him.
She's alive. She's whole. She's in his arms, and he tightens that hug on her, uncertain of when or exactly why his eyes start to burn and his throat tightens with the strength of it.
In Chicago, people who live and grow up there, they're used to nearly losing the people they love, their friends, their family time and time again. They should be used to it, but he never has been, never will be.
His hand slides down her hair, resting against her back.] I love you.
[It's not said until he can say it, until he can manage the words.
And his arms are still winded tightly around her, outside of his house. It's cold but he doesn't feel it. It hurts and it's amazing bu it's all he feels. That love, that knowing that she's alive.]
[Rachel isn't expecting him to open the door before she's even finished making it past the walkway that leads to the front porch. She has a sinking sensation something is wrong, aside from the... obvious, she doesn't know what it is but she doesn't have to be a guardian to sense it.
She opens her mouth to say something, an apology she knows he doesn't need but it still remains lodged in her throat when he pulls her in close. The words that she would have said, could have said, die in her throat and all she's capable of at the moment is holding him back.
Her arms slide tightly around his neck, fingers clasping at the back of it. Her hand only lowers to drift down his back and press into the skin there.
Rachel should've known he'd hear about it, one way or another, and it would've been ideal if he'd heard it from her.
She releases a low breath before she places a soft kiss against his neck.] I love you, too.
[That has always been true, it feels like.
It doesn't matter how long it takes before he can say it, or that they're outside of his house and it's cold. Rachel doesn't move as long as he doesn't, and her arms remain around him. She only draws back once he does, and her chest is tight for some reason.]
Noah, it's okay. I'm okay. [Her hands frame his face at either side and she smiles at him, almost sadly, forehead very nearly touching his.] See?
[Noah moves forward as soon as he sees her. It's like he has been pulled to her by a rope, by a string that cannot be seen, and he wraps his arms around her before she can speak. He sees her mouth open, but he doesn't need the apology and she's already given it to him.
Maybe it's an overreaction, but it doesn't feel that way. And he knows though she can't that there's that other half to what he's feeling, that goes beyond himself, that is rooted in his own lies.
Maybe he needs to scale his own reaction to all of it back, but he can't. He swallows past the tightness in his throat, but it's the pain in his chest that doesn't go away even a little.
Noah closes his eyes, and he doesn't open them again until he feels her soft kiss against his neck. His hand slip down her back, following the length of it and her breathing.
I love you too. And he knows it's true. He stifles down the feeling in his chest, smothers it somehow though it is still there. Noah doesn't know when it will leave, if it ever will.
When he pulls back, Noah slides down from her back, moving to either side of her waist to keep hold of her. He looks at her when she pulls back.]
It's okay. You're... okay. I know. [He closes his eyes when she frames his face before he forces his eyes open again. Noah smiles a little when she says See? and he hasn't really smiled since he read that, read fireball and Rachel in the same sentence.] I-- I see.
I know you're okay in my head. [Noah swallows, shaking his head.] I needed to... see it though. I'll never get used to that. [To knowing how easy it is to lose someone here, to knowing what it's like to nearly lose her.
] You talked to Seth.
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]
Seth was talking to Ben publicly on the journals. I just read it is all.
So... fireball?
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It sounded like it was really close. Seth sounded worried, and I know he spazzes easily, but it's just weird to think about.
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I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just didn't see the point in worrying you about something when the crisis itself had been averted. It felt like worrying you pointlessly.
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It's just hard to think that something could have happened to you, almost did happen somewhere else completely and
that'd be that. You'd be gone.
No, I know. It's okay. I wouldn't have wanted to worry you about something like that either. But you'd want me to tell you still, right?
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There might've been that initial danger but it was... it was mostly a simulated danger room thing.
Of course I would. I wouldn't want you to keep things from me, I just didn't want to bring it up and you didn't ask specifics and worrying you unnecessarily just felt [fff]
I'm sorry. I'm hoping there won't be a next time but if there is, I will tell you.
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Yeah, that's right. I saw X-men so that makes sense. I just heard fireball and Rachel in the same sentence, and that's not a combination I'm good at handling.
No, I know. Like I said, I'd feel the same if I was in your position. I wouldn't want to worry you about something that had passed. It's seriously okay. I should have asked for more details, but maybe I was kind of afraid of something like that having happened.
I hope there won't either. I know it's Chicago and it happens but thank you, Rachel. Seriously. I know there's nothing I could do about it if it already happened, but I like knowing. I don't know.
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So thank you for understanding. It was just a really loaded afternoon.
It's okay you didn't. I mean, it's not like I gave any indication anything wrong had happened and by the time I was already home I'd just spent the whole day in other places and I just wanted to spend some time with you without any of that involved.
Is there anything I can do? I feel kind of bad. Aside from this one instance there's honestly nothing I've ever not shared with you. I can't imagine not sharing it with you in the first place.
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I do, of course. Yeah, it sounds like it was. I think I sensed that and I didn't want you to have to focus on that anymore considering the whole week was loaded in a way.
You deserved to have some normal hanging out time. We both did, and it was really nice hanging out with you and just being us.
[rjkelajrkel;ajrealrjearleareja fwaugh .-.]
No, you don't have to do anything. Please, don't feel bad. I do want to see you though in the flesh. I already saw you after it all happened and I'm talking to you now, but it'd help.
I know there isn't. It's seriously okay. It was a one time thing and there were weird circumstances. It happens.
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Not the best way to find out about that. I don't think it's irrational, for what it's worth. Like I said, I get it, and I don't like that's how you found out so I know I should've told you to begin with even if my intentions were the best ones.
It helped more than anything else.
I like when it's just us, too.
Okay. I can do that. I'll come over later.
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It's okay. You can tell me next time, and if I ever have a fireball flying at me in another universe, I will try my best to tell you but I know I'll have the urge to not do it.
I like that too.
It's my favorite thing.
Okay.
Thanks seriously. We'll just be us again. i don't even have to know anything else about it, just us and safe and
Yeah. I'm really happy you're okay. Obviously. I just You're my best friend, my girlfriend I don't know how I'd
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We want to protect the people we love from things that could hurt them, but ultimately, I know the truth is more important.
This time, it just seemed like it would've been unnecessarily worrying you, since it'd already happened and who knows how real it all was?
[Rachel watches as he keeps writing, and it's when he doesn't finish his sentence that she worries.
So she doesn't reply back.
At least, not in writing.
She'll go over to his house again, in her regular, everyday Rachel clothes, and give him a tight, tight hug once she sees him.
Sometimes it's the actions themselves that say more than the words could.]
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That hits, and it makes him impossible for him to write back to her, not with the rest of it swirlign through his stomach until it creates some heavy boulder that pushes down on his gut. Makes it hard to breathe. Noah doesn't expect her to come over when she does.
In fact, he was about to abandon his own journal and go to her house instead, but he is on his way out when she's on her way to him, and he wraps his arms around her as soon as he sees her. Noah pulls her in close, cool skin, strength, body, everything that he knows about her sliding into him.
She's alive. She's whole. She's in his arms, and he tightens that hug on her, uncertain of when or exactly why his eyes start to burn and his throat tightens with the strength of it.
In Chicago, people who live and grow up there, they're used to nearly losing the people they love, their friends, their family time and time again. They should be used to it, but he never has been, never will be.
His hand slides down her hair, resting against her back.] I love you.
[It's not said until he can say it, until he can manage the words.
And his arms are still winded tightly around her, outside of his house. It's cold but he doesn't feel it. It hurts and it's amazing bu it's all he feels. That love, that knowing that she's alive.]
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She opens her mouth to say something, an apology she knows he doesn't need but it still remains lodged in her throat when he pulls her in close. The words that she would have said, could have said, die in her throat and all she's capable of at the moment is holding him back.
Her arms slide tightly around his neck, fingers clasping at the back of it. Her hand only lowers to drift down his back and press into the skin there.
Rachel should've known he'd hear about it, one way or another, and it would've been ideal if he'd heard it from her.
She releases a low breath before she places a soft kiss against his neck.] I love you, too.
[That has always been true, it feels like.
It doesn't matter how long it takes before he can say it, or that they're outside of his house and it's cold. Rachel doesn't move as long as he doesn't, and her arms remain around him. She only draws back once he does, and her chest is tight for some reason.]
Noah, it's okay. I'm okay. [Her hands frame his face at either side and she smiles at him, almost sadly, forehead very nearly touching his.] See?
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Maybe it's an overreaction, but it doesn't feel that way. And he knows though she can't that there's that other half to what he's feeling, that goes beyond himself, that is rooted in his own lies.
Maybe he needs to scale his own reaction to all of it back, but he can't. He swallows past the tightness in his throat, but it's the pain in his chest that doesn't go away even a little.
Noah closes his eyes, and he doesn't open them again until he feels her soft kiss against his neck. His hand slip down her back, following the length of it and her breathing.
I love you too. And he knows it's true. He stifles down the feeling in his chest, smothers it somehow though it is still there. Noah doesn't know when it will leave, if it ever will.
When he pulls back, Noah slides down from her back, moving to either side of her waist to keep hold of her. He looks at her when she pulls back.]
It's okay. You're... okay. I know. [He closes his eyes when she frames his face before he forces his eyes open again. Noah smiles a little when she says See? and he hasn't really smiled since he read that, read fireball and Rachel in the same sentence.] I-- I see.
I know you're okay in my head. [Noah swallows, shaking his head.] I needed to... see it though. I'll never get used to that. [To knowing how easy it is to lose someone here, to knowing what it's like to nearly lose her.
And he wouldn't have been there.]
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