(no subject)
holy shit, it's two in the morning. and i have to be to work at nine. that sucks a lot.
that's okay, because i have invader zim, and if that fails (which it probably won't), i'll just read my dorky harry potter book. because i am a dork. and yes, i know that you're not supposed to start sentences with "and" or "because", but you're supposed to use capital letters as well, and i clearly don't. i think they're ugly. and i don't need to use proper sentence structure. nobody else does.
so there.
my eyes sort of hurt, but lately i'm used to it. maybe i'll just go to bed. blake's playing magic with randy, which is awesome, because they haven't hung out in a while. he'll show up in bed eventually. and maybe he'll wake me up, and maybe he won't. either way, he's going to be pissed that i logged him out of livejournal again. *insert malicious laughter here. and make it really malicious. because i am evil*
oh the evil. it burns. FEEL THE BURN!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahaha!!! capital letters suck. and i just used them. and i am babbling incoherently because i am tired, and i've recently been subjected to a very bad mood. i'm still in sort of a bad mood, if you want the truth.
and i need a vacation. or just some sleep.
the episode of zim where dib's ship comes alive and believes that it's the real dib is on. it's so good.
you should all watch invader zim religiously, because laughter is good for you. and being sad and feeling lonely isn't. so watch zim, and forget all about the fact that you don't have enough friends to shake a stick at. unless of course, you do have enough friends to shake a stick at. in which case...um...watch zim simply because it's funny, and you have no need of a better reason to fill your head with jhonen's ingenious misanthropy disguised in a pleasant cartoon. or...maybe it's not so pleasant. but it's still sort of a clever disguise if you ask me.
i'm just going to keep typing, even though i stopped making sense as soon as i started. and you're just going to have to deal with it. unless you stop reading, which you probably already have, and that's just fine. in any case, all of this crap will at least clog up your friend's page, and i suppose that's just going to have to be good enough for me. i wonder who's winning. i'm going to smoke another cigarette now. maybe the pain in my lungs will bring my sense of reality back for a while.
really i should quit smoking. waking up sort of hurts lately, and that's probably not a good sign. not to mention my lungs' constant joined attempt to evacuate themselves from my body by way of my trachea. i mean, really. i'm assuming that none of these signs are positive. but honestly, i don't really have much of a desire to live forever. what, with the rapidity of the deterioration of the quality of life on this planet, and all. i figure, by the time i'm my mother's age (and she's not even forty yet), we'll be living in a george orwell novel. fortunately, i don't think it'll be animal farm. unfortunately, i think it'll be 1984, which was worse in so many ways. i wish that there was more good to speak of, but since hardly anyone really notices how degenerate we've all become, i doubt that that particular wish will be granted any time in the near future. everything is about money now. the important things in life are all lived out through really bad movies. people don't realize that love and friendship should surpass monetary ideals. we spend our entire lives slaving away at pointless jobs that we hate, just so that we can have things that we don't really need at all. nobody understands one of the most basic facts of life. you can't take it with you. whether you believe in any sort of afterlife or not, none of your money or your seven cars or your expensive designer clothes are going with you. so why bother spending all of your time doing something that you can't stand doing? when your life is over, are you finally going to realize that you wasted it? are you finally going to realize that you spent so much of your pathetic existance trying to buy happiness, that you never really had time to be happy? it makes me sick. what makes me feel even worse, is that there's no real way out. the only hope that we have is to find jobs that we actually like that can sustain our basic needs. and with taxes and insurance rates and the prices of homes and the constant inflation, what are the odds of that ever happening for the vast majority of us? yes, the sad truth is that most of us are destined to lead mundane, useless lives that will ultimately end in despair triumphing over integrity.
i am in love. and it's a mutual love. so, in essence, i am happy. however, the prospects for my future are quite horrifying really. i'm probably going to end up being one of those crazy english or drama teachers. you know the ones i'm talking about. they wear those long, flowing, bright colored skirts with military boots and oversized sweaters and lots of tacky, bright colored beads. and they have lots of cats and no kids and all they can do is read, write, and act. because that's all i can do. and it's hard to make it as a writer when all you can write is poetry. and theater is an insanely tough business to get into. and i've never even heard of a position as a professional reader, so um...english/drama teacher it is! go me. oh well. maybe i'll be able to make a dent of intelligence in the next generation of youth. but if they're anything like this generation, i'll have my work more than cut out for me.
i'm afraid to go to college. i'm afraid to have to subject myself to even more routines of absorbing useless knowledge for later regurgitation. i really don't see where the benefit in it for me is. aside from being able to land one of those horrid jobs i mentioned earlier. i considered being a psychologist, but i don't think that's such a good idea, considering the fact that the majority of my patients would more than likely leave my office with even less hope than they started off with. i doubt that i'd get much business once word got out that i was a deranged cynic with a massively depressing outlook on life as we know it.
yep. i'm smoking again, because um. right. addict. i like pumping my bloodstream full of rotten filthy chemicals. my body loves me sosososo much.
speaking of my body, while we're *sort of* on the subject...mine's falling apart. there are things wrong with it that i'm afraid to get checked out. i'm sure many of them aren't even really fixable. they'll just put me on loads of medication and tell me that i have to change my lifestyle so much that i'll feel like i'm in growth works, or something. and, really, i just don't think i'm up for all of that. doctors are stupid. i don't care how much schooling they've put themselves through. they're all about diagnosing people with mystery illnesses so that they can make more money. all those stupid rat-monkeys who've decided that attention defecit disorder needs to be fixed with medication really just need to remove their thumbs from their assholes long enough to realize that the reason that the attention span of the human race has deteriorated so, is that children spend far more time with the television than with real human beings. we don't think that maybe, if we sat the stupid little fuck shits down with a book or two, maybe their attention spans (not to mention their literacy levels) would imrove drastically?
and does anyone else see a problem with reality tv? i mean, come on now people, i don't know about you, and i suppose it's entirely possible that it's just me, but i see enough stupid on a daily basis just by actually walking around *gasp*, that i don't have any desire whatsoever to turn on that rotten device that has so taken over the nation to watch even more people behave like utter morons. once again, maybe it's just me. but if it is just me, then there's something seriously wrong with you people. the label "reality tv" is an oximoron in itself really. and i'v never seen anything worth watching on any of it. i don't see why it's such a huge trend. who on earth decided that we need tv in order to properly witness reality? i am so baffled by the entire concept. *lights another cigarette*
it is now three in the morning. i have spent an hour so far babbling uncontrollably. this is stream of conciousness in its purest form. hey, it worked for kerouac, right? yes, yes it did.
invader zim is still on, but it has become nothing more than background noise. if i had the energy, i'd put on some pink floyd or something. but frankly, i don't. clearly, or i alreadt would have. randy's leaving now, which means that i should probably end this rant. i don't think that blake would much appreciate taking back seat to the computer. besides...they're re-running invader zim episodes, and my eyes are burning like mad. probably because there's smoke in them. right then.
i'm out.
~*~alice~*~
that's okay, because i have invader zim, and if that fails (which it probably won't), i'll just read my dorky harry potter book. because i am a dork. and yes, i know that you're not supposed to start sentences with "and" or "because", but you're supposed to use capital letters as well, and i clearly don't. i think they're ugly. and i don't need to use proper sentence structure. nobody else does.
so there.
my eyes sort of hurt, but lately i'm used to it. maybe i'll just go to bed. blake's playing magic with randy, which is awesome, because they haven't hung out in a while. he'll show up in bed eventually. and maybe he'll wake me up, and maybe he won't. either way, he's going to be pissed that i logged him out of livejournal again. *insert malicious laughter here. and make it really malicious. because i am evil*
oh the evil. it burns. FEEL THE BURN!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahaha!!! capital letters suck. and i just used them. and i am babbling incoherently because i am tired, and i've recently been subjected to a very bad mood. i'm still in sort of a bad mood, if you want the truth.
and i need a vacation. or just some sleep.
the episode of zim where dib's ship comes alive and believes that it's the real dib is on. it's so good.
you should all watch invader zim religiously, because laughter is good for you. and being sad and feeling lonely isn't. so watch zim, and forget all about the fact that you don't have enough friends to shake a stick at. unless of course, you do have enough friends to shake a stick at. in which case...um...watch zim simply because it's funny, and you have no need of a better reason to fill your head with jhonen's ingenious misanthropy disguised in a pleasant cartoon. or...maybe it's not so pleasant. but it's still sort of a clever disguise if you ask me.
i'm just going to keep typing, even though i stopped making sense as soon as i started. and you're just going to have to deal with it. unless you stop reading, which you probably already have, and that's just fine. in any case, all of this crap will at least clog up your friend's page, and i suppose that's just going to have to be good enough for me. i wonder who's winning. i'm going to smoke another cigarette now. maybe the pain in my lungs will bring my sense of reality back for a while.
really i should quit smoking. waking up sort of hurts lately, and that's probably not a good sign. not to mention my lungs' constant joined attempt to evacuate themselves from my body by way of my trachea. i mean, really. i'm assuming that none of these signs are positive. but honestly, i don't really have much of a desire to live forever. what, with the rapidity of the deterioration of the quality of life on this planet, and all. i figure, by the time i'm my mother's age (and she's not even forty yet), we'll be living in a george orwell novel. fortunately, i don't think it'll be animal farm. unfortunately, i think it'll be 1984, which was worse in so many ways. i wish that there was more good to speak of, but since hardly anyone really notices how degenerate we've all become, i doubt that that particular wish will be granted any time in the near future. everything is about money now. the important things in life are all lived out through really bad movies. people don't realize that love and friendship should surpass monetary ideals. we spend our entire lives slaving away at pointless jobs that we hate, just so that we can have things that we don't really need at all. nobody understands one of the most basic facts of life. you can't take it with you. whether you believe in any sort of afterlife or not, none of your money or your seven cars or your expensive designer clothes are going with you. so why bother spending all of your time doing something that you can't stand doing? when your life is over, are you finally going to realize that you wasted it? are you finally going to realize that you spent so much of your pathetic existance trying to buy happiness, that you never really had time to be happy? it makes me sick. what makes me feel even worse, is that there's no real way out. the only hope that we have is to find jobs that we actually like that can sustain our basic needs. and with taxes and insurance rates and the prices of homes and the constant inflation, what are the odds of that ever happening for the vast majority of us? yes, the sad truth is that most of us are destined to lead mundane, useless lives that will ultimately end in despair triumphing over integrity.
i am in love. and it's a mutual love. so, in essence, i am happy. however, the prospects for my future are quite horrifying really. i'm probably going to end up being one of those crazy english or drama teachers. you know the ones i'm talking about. they wear those long, flowing, bright colored skirts with military boots and oversized sweaters and lots of tacky, bright colored beads. and they have lots of cats and no kids and all they can do is read, write, and act. because that's all i can do. and it's hard to make it as a writer when all you can write is poetry. and theater is an insanely tough business to get into. and i've never even heard of a position as a professional reader, so um...english/drama teacher it is! go me. oh well. maybe i'll be able to make a dent of intelligence in the next generation of youth. but if they're anything like this generation, i'll have my work more than cut out for me.
i'm afraid to go to college. i'm afraid to have to subject myself to even more routines of absorbing useless knowledge for later regurgitation. i really don't see where the benefit in it for me is. aside from being able to land one of those horrid jobs i mentioned earlier. i considered being a psychologist, but i don't think that's such a good idea, considering the fact that the majority of my patients would more than likely leave my office with even less hope than they started off with. i doubt that i'd get much business once word got out that i was a deranged cynic with a massively depressing outlook on life as we know it.
yep. i'm smoking again, because um. right. addict. i like pumping my bloodstream full of rotten filthy chemicals. my body loves me sosososo much.
speaking of my body, while we're *sort of* on the subject...mine's falling apart. there are things wrong with it that i'm afraid to get checked out. i'm sure many of them aren't even really fixable. they'll just put me on loads of medication and tell me that i have to change my lifestyle so much that i'll feel like i'm in growth works, or something. and, really, i just don't think i'm up for all of that. doctors are stupid. i don't care how much schooling they've put themselves through. they're all about diagnosing people with mystery illnesses so that they can make more money. all those stupid rat-monkeys who've decided that attention defecit disorder needs to be fixed with medication really just need to remove their thumbs from their assholes long enough to realize that the reason that the attention span of the human race has deteriorated so, is that children spend far more time with the television than with real human beings. we don't think that maybe, if we sat the stupid little fuck shits down with a book or two, maybe their attention spans (not to mention their literacy levels) would imrove drastically?
and does anyone else see a problem with reality tv? i mean, come on now people, i don't know about you, and i suppose it's entirely possible that it's just me, but i see enough stupid on a daily basis just by actually walking around *gasp*, that i don't have any desire whatsoever to turn on that rotten device that has so taken over the nation to watch even more people behave like utter morons. once again, maybe it's just me. but if it is just me, then there's something seriously wrong with you people. the label "reality tv" is an oximoron in itself really. and i'v never seen anything worth watching on any of it. i don't see why it's such a huge trend. who on earth decided that we need tv in order to properly witness reality? i am so baffled by the entire concept. *lights another cigarette*
it is now three in the morning. i have spent an hour so far babbling uncontrollably. this is stream of conciousness in its purest form. hey, it worked for kerouac, right? yes, yes it did.
invader zim is still on, but it has become nothing more than background noise. if i had the energy, i'd put on some pink floyd or something. but frankly, i don't. clearly, or i alreadt would have. randy's leaving now, which means that i should probably end this rant. i don't think that blake would much appreciate taking back seat to the computer. besides...they're re-running invader zim episodes, and my eyes are burning like mad. probably because there's smoke in them. right then.
i'm out.
~*~alice~*~