College life...

[smlkid]

So basically, all I do is work. I had this big jumble in my head cuz everyone sees me as doing work all the time. I can't have that much free time cuz of the work I hafta do. If I don't do it now, then the next day will be crazy, chaotic, etc. I hate how college has turned out for me. I have so much work to do. The courses seem a lot harder than they did when I first picked them. Why? I dunno why. My grades aren't as good as before; I only have free time on the weekend... I can only go to certain things and plan my day around what I need to do to not stay up all nite. Maybe next semester will be better. I'm hoping it will be. Everyone seems to be enjoying college more than I am. I'm like the tree that watches all the hustle and bustle go by. No one understands me here but I haven't put myself in the position to be understood so... I had this talk with my mom. It made me feel a whole lot better about doing my hw. I need to feel the same way that she said she felt in college. I need to focus... and not be envious of other people and how they get to know each other cuz they're not doing their work. Hm... I dunno. I don't know how to say it. I'm all messed up. I wish I was home. Everything at home is carefree and easy. That's the only other time I can relax and see you guys...

It's just so hard to find my place here... I haven't found where I belong yet. Maybe someday... I'm hoping it'll come soon.