i guess this is what mono does to you
i'm sick. AGAIN. for the THIRD TIME in the last two months. this BLOWS. i am going to see my doctor AGAIN in a little while. my mom is going to pick me up on her way out of Boston so i don't have to take the T in the snow. she's the BESTEST. SERIOUSLY. but ugh. i'm ready for the sickness to be overwith.
so, i was recently told that i don't update this thing enough. (Christina!) :P i will try to do better. it's just weird writing about events in your personal life at work when you probably should be doing other things. like working. hehe. but things are slow this week at work, and i'm grateful for it.
i never really posted about New Year's, but i think i'll make that a separate entry. so that it at least APPEARS that i post a lot in this thing. :P
other than that boring stuff, it's snowing today. it snowed during the day yesterday, but didn't amount to much, and then snowed overnight last night. a couple of inches, maybe 3. it looked pretty on the lawns, but it's already dirty, slushy and gross on the roads. ahh well. and some jackass in a jeep drove by me and splashed icky slush on me as i walked from the T stop this morning. and yes, i yelled at him outloud. not particularly loudly, so i don't think anyone really heard, but i definitely called him an asshole. :P and i was about 20 mins late because i never saw the bus (which was either because it never came due to the snow, or that i somehow missed it in the 15 seconds it takes for me to walk down my back stairs and out the door. either way, booooo.) so i cut my losses and headed for the T, but ended up waiting about 10 minutes for that. i called my boss and told her, but still felt horribly guilty about it.
i'm afraid my boss is going to tell me in my evaluation that i need to do better about getting here on time. which is funny, because i'm actually pretty rarely late, and it's pretty much always due to bus issues out of my control, BUT i think that it APPEARS that that i am "late" because many of my co-workers get here EXTREMELY early. like 45 minutes early. which i also did for a while, but then i found out that we don't get paid until 10am anyway, so what's the point? i mean, if i could rack up some more hours (read: more MONEY) by coming in early, i totally would. but if we DON'T GET PAID until 10, then there's no reason to come in early. and thus, i don't. but the point of all this is that i'm afraid it looks bad, and so i'm afraid she's going to call me out on it. so i say boo.
i'm not too excited about this evaluation thing. i'm feeling this pre-emptive fear and guilt that she's going to tell me that my performance has declined, and that she's super disappointed. i would agree, it has. this job wears on you, and it's hard to keep up the effort when you are getting paid so little and you're not doing anything even remotely interesting to you. (except that you work for the Wold Champions.) but you KNOW that if you were doing something more interesting to you, and using your skills and talents appropriately, you'd automatically put more effort in. so, it's a catch 22. performance has declined due to jaded-ness and weariness, but it would increase if i was doing something i wanted to be doing, but in order to be hired for something else, performance needs to be extremely high. UGH. the conundrum that is my life.
ok, enough for now. i'll post about New Year's tomorrow or something.
SMK : )
so, i was recently told that i don't update this thing enough. (Christina!) :P i will try to do better. it's just weird writing about events in your personal life at work when you probably should be doing other things. like working. hehe. but things are slow this week at work, and i'm grateful for it.
i never really posted about New Year's, but i think i'll make that a separate entry. so that it at least APPEARS that i post a lot in this thing. :P
other than that boring stuff, it's snowing today. it snowed during the day yesterday, but didn't amount to much, and then snowed overnight last night. a couple of inches, maybe 3. it looked pretty on the lawns, but it's already dirty, slushy and gross on the roads. ahh well. and some jackass in a jeep drove by me and splashed icky slush on me as i walked from the T stop this morning. and yes, i yelled at him outloud. not particularly loudly, so i don't think anyone really heard, but i definitely called him an asshole. :P and i was about 20 mins late because i never saw the bus (which was either because it never came due to the snow, or that i somehow missed it in the 15 seconds it takes for me to walk down my back stairs and out the door. either way, booooo.) so i cut my losses and headed for the T, but ended up waiting about 10 minutes for that. i called my boss and told her, but still felt horribly guilty about it.
i'm afraid my boss is going to tell me in my evaluation that i need to do better about getting here on time. which is funny, because i'm actually pretty rarely late, and it's pretty much always due to bus issues out of my control, BUT i think that it APPEARS that that i am "late" because many of my co-workers get here EXTREMELY early. like 45 minutes early. which i also did for a while, but then i found out that we don't get paid until 10am anyway, so what's the point? i mean, if i could rack up some more hours (read: more MONEY) by coming in early, i totally would. but if we DON'T GET PAID until 10, then there's no reason to come in early. and thus, i don't. but the point of all this is that i'm afraid it looks bad, and so i'm afraid she's going to call me out on it. so i say boo.
i'm not too excited about this evaluation thing. i'm feeling this pre-emptive fear and guilt that she's going to tell me that my performance has declined, and that she's super disappointed. i would agree, it has. this job wears on you, and it's hard to keep up the effort when you are getting paid so little and you're not doing anything even remotely interesting to you. (except that you work for the Wold Champions.) but you KNOW that if you were doing something more interesting to you, and using your skills and talents appropriately, you'd automatically put more effort in. so, it's a catch 22. performance has declined due to jaded-ness and weariness, but it would increase if i was doing something i wanted to be doing, but in order to be hired for something else, performance needs to be extremely high. UGH. the conundrum that is my life.
ok, enough for now. i'll post about New Year's tomorrow or something.
SMK : )