This is an excellent question. I think I am being kind enough on the comments and posts - after all, I got a post in today and have over a week to squish in 4 more if I can go back to the daily thing. I did call Grampy, who was glad to hear from me and it was a nice reminder that I'm loved. (I always underestimate how good I feel after talking to family, especially when it's just a short sweet little convo.)
The funny thing about the work assignment is that I'm not being kind because I'm being a perfectionist. I'm all, "It has to be done. And right. And now." And I did tell him I was going to get it to him Sunday night, which he knows means "overnight Sunday" and is fine. But I know that the very best thing I could do is just write it up and then edit it, and I get all verklempt over actually carrying it out. Perfectionism and procrastinating are actually unfair to me and I have not yet managed to be kind enough to myself not to do them.
The relationship front is good - he goes, "We need to talk about us" this week and I was like, "...isn't that my line?" but it turned out for the awesome. And I'm just kind of breathing deeply through the job thing. Nothing will happen tomorrow but I'll probably talk to recruiting on Tuesday and it might take a while for a decision to be made and that's okay. (Ugh, in the meanwhile, I just want to whine about how much uncertainty sucks. But my mantra, is, "But that's okay.")
If I do wind up getting sick, I will definitely be kind to myself starting on Tuesday. Tomorrow is slated to be fun anyway, though, and today I ate an entire bag of cheddar and horseradish potato chips because the horseradish seemed to help. I am a weirdo and I'm okay with that. ;)
Thank you for asking! It was good to take a moment and evaluate and think about how I'm treating myself.
the very best thing I could do is just write it up and then edit it, and I get all verklempt over actually carrying it out.
*nod nod* Putting things off because they're scary/I'm a perfectionist is a huuuuge problem for me. I know I feel so much better once I do them, but it's a struggle every time. Sometimes, with something like writing, I try to go about it a bit ass-backwards in order to fool the perfectionist. I'll start it in the middle, or just write 'blah blah blah' for a few lines, or something like 'and right here I'd say something about what Rodney does with the Ancient doohickey', and eventually I get going on it. Whatever gets me through, you know?
I'm just kind of breathing deeply through the job thing. *nod* Which is all you can do. I'm crossing my fingers for you. :)
And you're welcome. I know it's always a struggle for me to not get down on myself, and sometimes I just need a reminder to sit back and go "hey! relax! you've got this, 'k?" Which you totally do. (Because you're awesome.)
The funny thing about the work assignment is that I'm not being kind because I'm being a perfectionist. I'm all, "It has to be done. And right. And now." And I did tell him I was going to get it to him Sunday night, which he knows means "overnight Sunday" and is fine. But I know that the very best thing I could do is just write it up and then edit it, and I get all verklempt over actually carrying it out. Perfectionism and procrastinating are actually unfair to me and I have not yet managed to be kind enough to myself not to do them.
The relationship front is good - he goes, "We need to talk about us" this week and I was like, "...isn't that my line?" but it turned out for the awesome. And I'm just kind of breathing deeply through the job thing. Nothing will happen tomorrow but I'll probably talk to recruiting on Tuesday and it might take a while for a decision to be made and that's okay. (Ugh, in the meanwhile, I just want to whine about how much uncertainty sucks. But my mantra, is, "But that's okay.")
If I do wind up getting sick, I will definitely be kind to myself starting on Tuesday. Tomorrow is slated to be fun anyway, though, and today I ate an entire bag of cheddar and horseradish potato chips because the horseradish seemed to help. I am a weirdo and I'm okay with that. ;)
Thank you for asking! It was good to take a moment and evaluate and think about how I'm treating myself.
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the very best thing I could do is just write it up and then edit it, and I get all verklempt over actually carrying it out.
*nod nod* Putting things off because they're scary/I'm a perfectionist is a huuuuge problem for me. I know I feel so much better once I do them, but it's a struggle every time. Sometimes, with something like writing, I try to go about it a bit ass-backwards in order to fool the perfectionist. I'll start it in the middle, or just write 'blah blah blah' for a few lines, or something like 'and right here I'd say something about what Rodney does with the Ancient doohickey', and eventually I get going on it. Whatever gets me through, you know?
I'm just kind of breathing deeply through the job thing. *nod* Which is all you can do. I'm crossing my fingers for you. :)
And you're welcome. I know it's always a struggle for me to not get down on myself, and sometimes I just need a reminder to sit back and go "hey! relax! you've got this, 'k?" Which you totally do. (Because you're awesome.)
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