Jul 21, 2011 02:32
Ya'll, I am developing a serious Clint Barton Problem. I know what Tumblr is now. It is the thing that gives me pretty pictures of Clint Barton to look at when I should be studying. Or sleeping. Like now.
PS: Is there a female Avenger anywhere, ever, that he hasn't banged? Or is going to bang in the next month or two?
comics,
bar exam mark iii,
hawkeye
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Yes, totally. I mean, most guys, you lead them into betraying their country and becoming a supervillain (assuming they are the kind of guys for whom this is a bad thing), they would be done with you. But Clint's love is true! (Also, I don't know if this was clear from Wikipedia, but he knew Mockingbird for maybe a week before getting married.)
Black Widow - Origin story; she used him to steal Tony Stark's tech and then sort of disappeared, leaving him behind. Cue mutual silent angst.
Sometimes it was noisy angst. Because...Hawkeye. But yeah.
Scarlet Witch - So it appears that he just wanted to date her and she went for Wonder Man/Vision over him so he stomped off and quit the Avengers?
That's basically what happened, although he claimed the actual quitting was because he wanted to work as a solo operative instead of getting lost amid a mob of supers. Have a download of the relevant issue!
Mockingbird - Who died on him. After the Phantom-someone breakup, but I feel like it was more the dying.
According to Wikipedia (I do own a bunch of West Coast Avengers, but it's all earlier stuff), they'd fully reconciled by the time of her death, except of course they hadn't because she was replaced by a Skrull immediately before the reconciliation. Comics!
And apparently they hooked up when she turned out not to be dead but now they're not together?
Yes, which makes me sad. As far as I'm concerned, Bobbi is Clint's One True and they should be together always now that Bobbi has gotten over that inconvenient death thing. They can bicker as much as they want, I just want them to do it together.
Moonstone - Okay, she was a Thunderbolt and not an Avenger but that totally happened.
This is the only relationship on the list that I saw start to finish, and oh boy, did it ever. I don't know what it says about Clint that his three serious relationships involved two spies and the world's most manipulative supervillainess, but it must mean something.
Wasp - This was apparently some 3-issue Chuck Austen travesty that no one wants to talk about?
God, really? I hadn't heard about that one. But if it's Chuck Austen it's probably best forgotten.
Echo - I don't even know what Echo was doing with the Avengers. In fact, I'm not even sure it was the same Echo as from the Daredevil trade I have.
It's the same Echo--Bendis took a shine to her, at a guess--but I don't know any more about the situation than you can find out on Wikipedia.
Spiderwoman - She's pretty much who I meant by "in the next month or two" since the cover for Avengers #16 looks pretty suggestive.
Uh, yeah, just a little. I haven't read anything with Jessica Drew in years, so I have no idea if that would be a good idea. Though my inner shipper kind of hopes he's just trying to make Bobbi jealous. (In adaptations I am fine with Hawkeye/Whoever, but in mainline MU I have very firm preferences.)
So yeah, I skipped a bunch of civilian women, possibly evil agents, and some chick from the circus, but I kind of feel like he's hit the highlights? I mean, when I think of Avengers women I usually think of 'Tasha, Jan, and Wanda. Oh, Carol. He hasn't slept with Carol, right?
I am fairly secure in saying no. Also Captain Marvel, Tigra, Sersi, Firestar...
...No one even ships him with Carol, right?
At this point, you would probably know better than I would, honestly. They strike me as the kind of strong personalities who would clash rather than complement, though.
Oh! And I don't think he's slept with She-Hulk except in this one What If that doesn't count because it's a What If, right?
Given that it's not only a What If, it's a What If where they're all stranded on an alien planet with a dating pool of maybe twenty people total...nah. (My favorite--entirely gen--Hawkeye & She-Hulk scene: 1 2 3)
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So, Austen drags it up again, with a romance between Hawkeye and Wasp, which starts in the most stupid way possible. The Avengers are in England, they are fighting the Wrecking Crew (I think). A woman bystander (soon to be the new Captain Britain, but that is another story) gets killed, and somehow this sets Hawkeye off. The Wrecking Crew has been captured, Hawkeye goes down to the prison area because he wants to beat the snot out of them, stupidly turns off the prison containment, gets beat to crap for his stupidity. Anyway, later on, recovering from his broken leg, he tells Jan that he "did it for her", he did it for his dead wife and all the other women ever beat upon by a man. A romance starts, Hawkeye and Jan do the superhero "quipping together during the fight with the bad guys" thing which weirds both of them out. Things get hot and heavy, Hank Pym walks in on them in Jan's bedroom, which makes Hank throw up. Cue Disassembled, Bendis' first Avengers arc.
Also, for angst, try the issue of The Ultimates where Hawkeye's home gets invaded, his wife and all of his kids killed, the last one being shot in the head while in Hawkeye's arms. Although if you are a Black Widow fan, Ultimates is kinda tough. Definitely the Avengers cartoon and likely the movie Avengers are tilted more toward the Ultimates version than the 616.
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