This IS my list of happy things
Because I've been so negative, I decided to make a list of things that make me happy. Except I really just wanted to talk about NCIS:Gay so that's what I did. But ya'll should know that today's sandwich was made of win.
The Secret Origin of Secret Squirrel
In Episode 1x02 - The Only Easy Day was Yesterday, G finds a key before Sam has a chance to pick the lock and announces, "You're slow, Secret Squirrel." reccea and I sat there going, "WTF, Secret Squirrel?" So I googled. The first entry is for a Hanna-Barbara cartoon character Secret Squirrel. Given that G was supposed to be 14ish in 1983, it is possible he saw this show. Or reruns of it.
The second definition is from Urban Dictionary (which is actually mentioned on the Wiki page) is slang for an undercover or intelligent agent - which Sam and G both are. However there are other definitions. Like four and six. I choose to believe that the writer of the show was not aware of these definitions. But LL Cool J is. Because his face when Chris O'Donnell delivers the line? Is a thing of beauty. (Text not particularly safe for work.)
Blah, Blah, Character Histories, Etc.
I'm ignoring the various things where the writers can't do math. At 3 months tops, 37 foster homes only accounts for 9.25 of the applicable years instead of 13. I assume G spent some time in juvie and ran away more than once. (Or twice, or thrice...) I'm also ignoring G's lack of name because look, even rescue dogs get names when they go to the shelter. (My best guess here is that various people tried it and G protested. Probably with teeth.)
But, starting with G, it appears that he was turned over to the state when he was approximately 5 years old (although he may have been shuffled around his family's friends and/or relatives for a while before that) and left to his own devices at 18. From the comment about him never getting a birthday card, (not even from a girlfriend or buddy?) I am guessing he doesn't actually know his birthday and the system either assigned him one that he doesn't go by, or just sort of mustered him out 13 years after they got him. If he thinks he was 14 in 1983, he about 40 now (Chris O'Donnell is 39), and was in the DEA ten years ago when he was thirty. And had fluffy hair. And he was in the FBI at some point. He says in 1x04 that he was in the Army, but since the person he's talking to isn't part of his team, he could be lying. (Although if G was in the Army and Sam was in the Navy? That explains a lot about their interaction.)
Sam's easier - he was a Navy SEAL and since someone referred to him as Master Chief, I'm guessing he enlisted right out of high school. He's been with NCIS at least 3 years, and if he retired after 20 years (Holgate asked him how he was liking retirement, but that was an assumption based on what Sam had told him) then Sam is at least 41. (Which LL Cool J is.)
Dominic is likely right out of grad school, so he's probably in his mid-twenties. (Grad school because I went to a job fair for the NSA and related agencies when I was graduating with my bachelors and...they wanted masters degrees. Although Dominic probably does have a highly technical major, which is the other thing they want.
Nate's school timeline is all sorts of ridiculous but I pretty much care about Nate for two reasons:
1) so he can tower over Hetty and
2) so he can make cow eyes at G and wish G loved him as much as G loves Sam.
Also, as reccea pointed out, he owned Macy, and is scared to death of Hetty, so I think maybe he and Macy had a fling. Which is why she left. Or something.
Eric is cute but...I have nothing to say about him.
Kensi is awesome all on her own, and aside from the Camp Pendleton advil anvil they dropped in the (real) pilot, and the details about her on the cbs.com page...we've really gotten nothing.
I don't think Hetty's backstory is necessarily supposed to make sense. I was talking with thepouncer this weekend and we seem to agree that Hetty was once a wardrobe mistress for a movie studio and a spy along the way because seriously, who would expect? Also, I don't want to know about the time she hid in the cake.
Also, I maintain that this show is a grand experiment because someone bet someone else that a show could succeed on sheer slashiness alone. They don't even try to make the other characters interesting beyond how they react to the MFEO-ness of G and Sam.
Also, my tiny little fic has ballooned (as usual) but wojelah said I could post a tiny bit as a teaser. I'm working on the theory that if I just write everything that comes into my head, I can fix it later. No overthinking. *crosses fingers and hopes*
Sam thinks maybe G's upset because he liked it. Maybe G liked being kissed and groped by another dude. Maybe it got him hot and bothered and he doesn't know how to feel about that. G's always been better with other people's feelings than his own.
"Are you going to share with the class, Professor?" G asks sarcastically.
"Patience, grasshopper," Sam chides. He puts his beer bottle on the coaster on the end table and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I think maybe we'll all a little bit gay," he tells G. "Gotta have the yin to appreciate the yang and all that". G's eyebrows are starting to climb his forehead. "I'm just sayin', under the right circumstances, with the right person and the right mindset, I think everyone's got an inclination to find some sexual satisfaction with someone of the same. Some people maybe go their whole lives without ever hitting the perfect storm they need for that to happen. Some people maybe hit it once or twice a week." Sam grins at his own joke. G frowns at his own bruised knuckles, which makes Sam's grin sink. "I'm just saying. World ain't black and white, G."
That's when G looks up, eyes blue and wide, the circles under them red and puffy. Sam leans forward to clap him on the shoulder, because sometimes that expression makes G remind him of nothing more than a confused little kid.
But then G leans forward, too, and presses his mouth up firmly against Sam's, and leaving no doubt that he's a grown man who knows what he wants.
The Secret Origin of Secret Squirrel
In Episode 1x02 - The Only Easy Day was Yesterday, G finds a key before Sam has a chance to pick the lock and announces, "You're slow, Secret Squirrel." reccea and I sat there going, "WTF, Secret Squirrel?" So I googled. The first entry is for a Hanna-Barbara cartoon character Secret Squirrel. Given that G was supposed to be 14ish in 1983, it is possible he saw this show. Or reruns of it.
The second definition is from Urban Dictionary (which is actually mentioned on the Wiki page) is slang for an undercover or intelligent agent - which Sam and G both are. However there are other definitions. Like four and six. I choose to believe that the writer of the show was not aware of these definitions. But LL Cool J is. Because his face when Chris O'Donnell delivers the line? Is a thing of beauty. (Text not particularly safe for work.)
Blah, Blah, Character Histories, Etc.
I'm ignoring the various things where the writers can't do math. At 3 months tops, 37 foster homes only accounts for 9.25 of the applicable years instead of 13. I assume G spent some time in juvie and ran away more than once. (Or twice, or thrice...) I'm also ignoring G's lack of name because look, even rescue dogs get names when they go to the shelter. (My best guess here is that various people tried it and G protested. Probably with teeth.)
But, starting with G, it appears that he was turned over to the state when he was approximately 5 years old (although he may have been shuffled around his family's friends and/or relatives for a while before that) and left to his own devices at 18. From the comment about him never getting a birthday card, (not even from a girlfriend or buddy?) I am guessing he doesn't actually know his birthday and the system either assigned him one that he doesn't go by, or just sort of mustered him out 13 years after they got him. If he thinks he was 14 in 1983, he about 40 now (Chris O'Donnell is 39), and was in the DEA ten years ago when he was thirty. And had fluffy hair. And he was in the FBI at some point. He says in 1x04 that he was in the Army, but since the person he's talking to isn't part of his team, he could be lying. (Although if G was in the Army and Sam was in the Navy? That explains a lot about their interaction.)
Sam's easier - he was a Navy SEAL and since someone referred to him as Master Chief, I'm guessing he enlisted right out of high school. He's been with NCIS at least 3 years, and if he retired after 20 years (Holgate asked him how he was liking retirement, but that was an assumption based on what Sam had told him) then Sam is at least 41. (Which LL Cool J is.)
Dominic is likely right out of grad school, so he's probably in his mid-twenties. (Grad school because I went to a job fair for the NSA and related agencies when I was graduating with my bachelors and...they wanted masters degrees. Although Dominic probably does have a highly technical major, which is the other thing they want.
Nate's school timeline is all sorts of ridiculous but I pretty much care about Nate for two reasons:
1) so he can tower over Hetty and
2) so he can make cow eyes at G and wish G loved him as much as G loves Sam.
Also, as reccea pointed out, he owned Macy, and is scared to death of Hetty, so I think maybe he and Macy had a fling. Which is why she left. Or something.
Eric is cute but...I have nothing to say about him.
Kensi is awesome all on her own, and aside from the Camp Pendleton advil anvil they dropped in the (real) pilot, and the details about her on the cbs.com page...we've really gotten nothing.
I don't think Hetty's backstory is necessarily supposed to make sense. I was talking with thepouncer this weekend and we seem to agree that Hetty was once a wardrobe mistress for a movie studio and a spy along the way because seriously, who would expect? Also, I don't want to know about the time she hid in the cake.
Also, I maintain that this show is a grand experiment because someone bet someone else that a show could succeed on sheer slashiness alone. They don't even try to make the other characters interesting beyond how they react to the MFEO-ness of G and Sam.
Also, my tiny little fic has ballooned (as usual) but wojelah said I could post a tiny bit as a teaser. I'm working on the theory that if I just write everything that comes into my head, I can fix it later. No overthinking. *crosses fingers and hopes*
Sam thinks maybe G's upset because he liked it. Maybe G liked being kissed and groped by another dude. Maybe it got him hot and bothered and he doesn't know how to feel about that. G's always been better with other people's feelings than his own.
"Are you going to share with the class, Professor?" G asks sarcastically.
"Patience, grasshopper," Sam chides. He puts his beer bottle on the coaster on the end table and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I think maybe we'll all a little bit gay," he tells G. "Gotta have the yin to appreciate the yang and all that". G's eyebrows are starting to climb his forehead. "I'm just sayin', under the right circumstances, with the right person and the right mindset, I think everyone's got an inclination to find some sexual satisfaction with someone of the same. Some people maybe go their whole lives without ever hitting the perfect storm they need for that to happen. Some people maybe hit it once or twice a week." Sam grins at his own joke. G frowns at his own bruised knuckles, which makes Sam's grin sink. "I'm just saying. World ain't black and white, G."
That's when G looks up, eyes blue and wide, the circles under them red and puffy. Sam leans forward to clap him on the shoulder, because sometimes that expression makes G remind him of nothing more than a confused little kid.
But then G leans forward, too, and presses his mouth up firmly against Sam's, and leaving no doubt that he's a grown man who knows what he wants.