Across the Face of the World, part eight
Chapter 7: Windrise
The Mahnum and Indrett Retrieval Squad, now bolstered by the addition of Rock Lee and...sorry I've been watching a lot of Naruto lately (bring season 5 pt 2 out already, dammit!), so where was I. Yes, the Mahnum Retrieval Squad, now joined by badass buttmonkey Farr and lover boy Wira, rides out along the Westway heading east. There is a lot of description of the Great North Wood, which apparently goes all the way to Bhrudwo. Emo feels it is a direct link to the Destoyer himself. I'm not sure why. Besides which thinking of having a link like that also implies that you feel a connection between you, like he's the Dark Lord's nemesis or something. I mean he is, or will be, but he shouldn't act like he knows it yet especially since Emo is still in the "angsty, unconfident young'un" stage of his by the numbers character development.
Hal admires the beauty of the forest, and Wira tells him he should see it in the spring, when it looks even better. Hal asks to see some of the trees, and "the two young men walked off together, one tall and broad shouldered, the other crippled, animated by a common interest."
In the first place, HoYay. And in the second place, it's great that you two have hobbies and all but isn't there something you ought to be doing instead of admiring the scenery. Like, oh I don't know, rescuing Hal and Indrett! I mean isn't that why they came out here in the first place? I swear these people are the most laxadaisical, uncaring heroes ever. It's as if the author is more interested in showing us his cool world than in getting on with the plot. In fact he probably is more interested in showing us his world but in that case he should have come up with a plot that allowed the characters to take it more easily and admire the scenery without looking like arseholes in the process. Or is it just me?
Cut to Mahnum, who is being beaten up by the Bhrudwans while his oh so loving family ambles through the trees. They keep asking him the same questions that the Voice of Andratan asked him, even though he didn't know the answers then and doesn't know them now. He considers doing a runner into the woods, but decides against it because he'd never find his way out again. There is an odd description of the forest as "uninterested in humans and their quarrels." which to me made it sound like the wood is full of Ents and Huorns, who have kept out of the wars of men and wizards and are not really on anybody's side. Fortunately, we are spared that grossest act of plagiarism as Kirkpatrick, like every other fantasy author who has reached out to grasp the mantle of Tolkien and claim it for his own, lacks the barefaced audacity to lay hands upon that most singular aspect of the great man's vision. Hmm, not often you get to see purple prose in a sporking, huh?
Mahnum thinks about his captors and we learn that only two of these people are proper Lords of Fear, the other two are rookies bought along for the ride to learn thier skills in torture, interrogation, and moving through enemy territory. Now I have mixed feelings about this revelation. On the one hand it does explain some of their stupidity and mistakes, their rookie mistakes made by rookie minions, on the other hand it doesn't exactly make it seem like the Dark Lord is taking this terribly serious when he sends out two noobie nuggets out after the one man in all of Faltha who knows exactly what his fiendish plan is.
It also doesn't do much for the tension when we thought that our heroes were facing the Sound Four and now it turns out that it's just a couple of Genin after all. Sorry, Naruto obsession kicking in again. Then again, all tension and drama flew out the window the moment Hal and Wira decided to go nature trailing, so I suppose I can't complain.
The Secret Seven ride into Windrise, another little town along the Westway Road. The Mayor leads Emo, Hal, Stella, Kurr and Farr to the Aspen Grange, a seedy one roomed bar where they hope to pass unnoticed, while Wira goes to the Briar and Thistle to see if anyone has news of the Bhrudwans. While I agree that the pub is the perfect place to start asking questions, this constant visiting of inns is starting to make it seem like our heroes are on more of a pub crawl than a rescue mission. Not to mention the fact that they are far more likely to be noticed in the seedy bar with very few customers than in the big lively pub where everyone goes.
Mayor asks Farr about the trouble between Mjolkbridge and Windrise, and Farr steps straight into his role as the strawman racist of the party:
"People here are arrogant, ill tempered half breeds. You can feel it, right enough. Well I can put a name to it, Losian."
Farr, I like you a lot but do you really think it's a good idea to go shooting your mouth off about these people in thier own local?
Farr does not take my advice and continues to rant about how they are surrounded by barbarians and trade with the half men who live in the hidden kingdom up in the hills. Instead of just dismissing this as local folklore and prejudice, Mayor and Kurr spend a while trying to find out details Farr doesn't have. Farr is more interested in canvasing for the Falthan Nationalist Party, demanding that people should have dealings only the with the First Men, and keep themselves "pure." I swear he'll be donning a white hood any moment now.
Now I can understand author's wanting to condemn racism. I can, really. But what always gets me is how, in a world that is supposedly rife with the stuff, there is only ever one character who exhibits any of it and there is no reason why that should be so. Let your oh so great and sueish heroes start off racist, let them get over it, let them have some character development for god's sake. I for one would much prefer it over these predictable strawmen.
The local gravedigger finds the group, and says that he also found a body on the road, knifed in the back. He has the clothes for sale. They turn out to belong to Kroptur's man, whom he sent along the road to shadow the Bhrudwans. Obviously he wasn't that good a scout. Not that
we care too much, after we never knew the man alive so it doesn't make too much difference now that he's dead. And as far as a revelation about the skill of the Bhrudwans goes it's pretty much overshadowed by the earlier revelation that half their unit is trainees.
The Seven set off, accompanied by a greasy and unpleasant Windrisian guide who charges too much money and who will almost betray them, thus confirming at least part of Farr's prejudices and suspicions. They ride into the imaginatively named Valley of Gloom, where surprise surprise they start to feel miserable. I think that this has been done but I can't quite remember where.
Chapter 8: The Valley of Respite
The Retrieval Squad plus guide pass through the Valley of Gloom and into the Valley of Respite, where they are surrounded by eight armed and mounted men. At first Emo is afriad these are the Bhrudwans, until Kurr points out that they are wearing Windrisian clothes. I think it would have been more sensible to have pointed out that they can't be the Bhrudwans because there are more than four of them, but that would be plausible writing wouldn't it.
The Windrisians sneer and threaten our heroes, all the while riding around them in circles in a bid to be intimidating. The heroes, realising that these people are just minor villains who hardly rate on the threat scale, refuse to be scared. Realising that there is a flaw in their strategy but not yet realising that they are just cannon fodder mooks for a filler chapter, the WIndrisians attack.
This is the first proper fight scene so far and as such it is a crucial test of Mr Kirkpatrick's ability as a writer of Heroic Fantasy. Sad to say he doesn't exactly pass with flying colours. What should happen is this:
Farr and Wira, the two experienced warriors who were brought along purely on account of thier skill at arms, should prove their worth to the company by showing what they've got and saving the day.
Kurr, the older soldier, should demonstrate some skill but also a degree of rustiness
The other four, being both inexperienced and phsyically incapable, should either stay out of it or get in the way and make things harder for the three who are capable.
Instead however, the fight goes more like this:
The gang dismounts to face a cavalry charge. One of the Storrsens gets jumped on by a WIndrisian and pinned to the ground. Their guide betrays them and tries to stab Farr in the back but Emo gets him in the back before he can make his move. One of the Storrsens knocks a man off his horse and he cracks his skull, dying in effect by accident. Hal kills one, and Stella kills one by going berserk on her opponent. Kurr breaks someone's leg before the rest of the bandits realise that their weapons are useful when faced with the plot armour of these characters and decide to call it quits. The Seven exhult in their victory.
So, a crippled young man with paralysis down one side of his body and a fifteen year old girl neither of whom have any weapons training or experience managed to kill two fit and able men who presumably knew something about how to fight. Our two strong warriors on the other hand were completely useless. Yes, that could happen.
And on that depressing note, as the Gang leaves the Valley of Respite amidst mounting snowfall, the chapter ends.
The Mahnum and Indrett Retrieval Squad, now bolstered by the addition of Rock Lee and...sorry I've been watching a lot of Naruto lately (bring season 5 pt 2 out already, dammit!), so where was I. Yes, the Mahnum Retrieval Squad, now joined by badass buttmonkey Farr and lover boy Wira, rides out along the Westway heading east. There is a lot of description of the Great North Wood, which apparently goes all the way to Bhrudwo. Emo feels it is a direct link to the Destoyer himself. I'm not sure why. Besides which thinking of having a link like that also implies that you feel a connection between you, like he's the Dark Lord's nemesis or something. I mean he is, or will be, but he shouldn't act like he knows it yet especially since Emo is still in the "angsty, unconfident young'un" stage of his by the numbers character development.
Hal admires the beauty of the forest, and Wira tells him he should see it in the spring, when it looks even better. Hal asks to see some of the trees, and "the two young men walked off together, one tall and broad shouldered, the other crippled, animated by a common interest."
In the first place, HoYay. And in the second place, it's great that you two have hobbies and all but isn't there something you ought to be doing instead of admiring the scenery. Like, oh I don't know, rescuing Hal and Indrett! I mean isn't that why they came out here in the first place? I swear these people are the most laxadaisical, uncaring heroes ever. It's as if the author is more interested in showing us his cool world than in getting on with the plot. In fact he probably is more interested in showing us his world but in that case he should have come up with a plot that allowed the characters to take it more easily and admire the scenery without looking like arseholes in the process. Or is it just me?
Cut to Mahnum, who is being beaten up by the Bhrudwans while his oh so loving family ambles through the trees. They keep asking him the same questions that the Voice of Andratan asked him, even though he didn't know the answers then and doesn't know them now. He considers doing a runner into the woods, but decides against it because he'd never find his way out again. There is an odd description of the forest as "uninterested in humans and their quarrels." which to me made it sound like the wood is full of Ents and Huorns, who have kept out of the wars of men and wizards and are not really on anybody's side. Fortunately, we are spared that grossest act of plagiarism as Kirkpatrick, like every other fantasy author who has reached out to grasp the mantle of Tolkien and claim it for his own, lacks the barefaced audacity to lay hands upon that most singular aspect of the great man's vision. Hmm, not often you get to see purple prose in a sporking, huh?
Mahnum thinks about his captors and we learn that only two of these people are proper Lords of Fear, the other two are rookies bought along for the ride to learn thier skills in torture, interrogation, and moving through enemy territory. Now I have mixed feelings about this revelation. On the one hand it does explain some of their stupidity and mistakes, their rookie mistakes made by rookie minions, on the other hand it doesn't exactly make it seem like the Dark Lord is taking this terribly serious when he sends out two noobie nuggets out after the one man in all of Faltha who knows exactly what his fiendish plan is.
It also doesn't do much for the tension when we thought that our heroes were facing the Sound Four and now it turns out that it's just a couple of Genin after all. Sorry, Naruto obsession kicking in again. Then again, all tension and drama flew out the window the moment Hal and Wira decided to go nature trailing, so I suppose I can't complain.
The Secret Seven ride into Windrise, another little town along the Westway Road. The Mayor leads Emo, Hal, Stella, Kurr and Farr to the Aspen Grange, a seedy one roomed bar where they hope to pass unnoticed, while Wira goes to the Briar and Thistle to see if anyone has news of the Bhrudwans. While I agree that the pub is the perfect place to start asking questions, this constant visiting of inns is starting to make it seem like our heroes are on more of a pub crawl than a rescue mission. Not to mention the fact that they are far more likely to be noticed in the seedy bar with very few customers than in the big lively pub where everyone goes.
Mayor asks Farr about the trouble between Mjolkbridge and Windrise, and Farr steps straight into his role as the strawman racist of the party:
"People here are arrogant, ill tempered half breeds. You can feel it, right enough. Well I can put a name to it, Losian."
Farr, I like you a lot but do you really think it's a good idea to go shooting your mouth off about these people in thier own local?
Farr does not take my advice and continues to rant about how they are surrounded by barbarians and trade with the half men who live in the hidden kingdom up in the hills. Instead of just dismissing this as local folklore and prejudice, Mayor and Kurr spend a while trying to find out details Farr doesn't have. Farr is more interested in canvasing for the Falthan Nationalist Party, demanding that people should have dealings only the with the First Men, and keep themselves "pure." I swear he'll be donning a white hood any moment now.
Now I can understand author's wanting to condemn racism. I can, really. But what always gets me is how, in a world that is supposedly rife with the stuff, there is only ever one character who exhibits any of it and there is no reason why that should be so. Let your oh so great and sueish heroes start off racist, let them get over it, let them have some character development for god's sake. I for one would much prefer it over these predictable strawmen.
The local gravedigger finds the group, and says that he also found a body on the road, knifed in the back. He has the clothes for sale. They turn out to belong to Kroptur's man, whom he sent along the road to shadow the Bhrudwans. Obviously he wasn't that good a scout. Not that
we care too much, after we never knew the man alive so it doesn't make too much difference now that he's dead. And as far as a revelation about the skill of the Bhrudwans goes it's pretty much overshadowed by the earlier revelation that half their unit is trainees.
The Seven set off, accompanied by a greasy and unpleasant Windrisian guide who charges too much money and who will almost betray them, thus confirming at least part of Farr's prejudices and suspicions. They ride into the imaginatively named Valley of Gloom, where surprise surprise they start to feel miserable. I think that this has been done but I can't quite remember where.
Chapter 8: The Valley of Respite
The Retrieval Squad plus guide pass through the Valley of Gloom and into the Valley of Respite, where they are surrounded by eight armed and mounted men. At first Emo is afriad these are the Bhrudwans, until Kurr points out that they are wearing Windrisian clothes. I think it would have been more sensible to have pointed out that they can't be the Bhrudwans because there are more than four of them, but that would be plausible writing wouldn't it.
The Windrisians sneer and threaten our heroes, all the while riding around them in circles in a bid to be intimidating. The heroes, realising that these people are just minor villains who hardly rate on the threat scale, refuse to be scared. Realising that there is a flaw in their strategy but not yet realising that they are just cannon fodder mooks for a filler chapter, the WIndrisians attack.
This is the first proper fight scene so far and as such it is a crucial test of Mr Kirkpatrick's ability as a writer of Heroic Fantasy. Sad to say he doesn't exactly pass with flying colours. What should happen is this:
Farr and Wira, the two experienced warriors who were brought along purely on account of thier skill at arms, should prove their worth to the company by showing what they've got and saving the day.
Kurr, the older soldier, should demonstrate some skill but also a degree of rustiness
The other four, being both inexperienced and phsyically incapable, should either stay out of it or get in the way and make things harder for the three who are capable.
Instead however, the fight goes more like this:
The gang dismounts to face a cavalry charge. One of the Storrsens gets jumped on by a WIndrisian and pinned to the ground. Their guide betrays them and tries to stab Farr in the back but Emo gets him in the back before he can make his move. One of the Storrsens knocks a man off his horse and he cracks his skull, dying in effect by accident. Hal kills one, and Stella kills one by going berserk on her opponent. Kurr breaks someone's leg before the rest of the bandits realise that their weapons are useful when faced with the plot armour of these characters and decide to call it quits. The Seven exhult in their victory.
So, a crippled young man with paralysis down one side of his body and a fifteen year old girl neither of whom have any weapons training or experience managed to kill two fit and able men who presumably knew something about how to fight. Our two strong warriors on the other hand were completely useless. Yes, that could happen.
And on that depressing note, as the Gang leaves the Valley of Respite amidst mounting snowfall, the chapter ends.