Reflecting on Spring
I celebrated spring by running around outside in bare feet! Whooo-ho!!!!!
This is a seriously rare occurance around here- we're usually still buried in snow. And looking at the weather widgit, it is indeed predicting snow for Wednesday. Of course. Still, it's been really nice & I've been enjoying the weather. I *loved* falling asleep to the sounds of a raging thunderstorm last night, even if it did knock out my power. :)
Today was weird. I wanted very much to go to a Spring Equinox Rite today. I'd been contamplating it for the last couple of weeks. And the simple fact is that I have no desire to be around my former grovemates. All I'll hear is how I haven't been around or how I let them down when I left. It'll be all about them, with no recognition that I might have been hurt or have any feelings. They could say any horrible, hateful thing to me they could possibly think up but the minute I suggested any of them were less then perfect or possibly out of line, I was told I was being "unprofessional". Exactly when was I getting paid again?
The thing that kills me is that it's not all of them- just a few. The others I'd love to see & I'm sure they wonder about me. Some of them I know even had the same misgivings about certain directions being taken. It's really sad when people's self-centered pettiness get in the way of spiritual practice.
I'm realy tired of being the one that gets blamed for everything. I just don't have the energy to deal with that kind of shit . And it breaks my heart that the the group I founded has turned out the way it has.
This is a seriously rare occurance around here- we're usually still buried in snow. And looking at the weather widgit, it is indeed predicting snow for Wednesday. Of course. Still, it's been really nice & I've been enjoying the weather. I *loved* falling asleep to the sounds of a raging thunderstorm last night, even if it did knock out my power. :)
Today was weird. I wanted very much to go to a Spring Equinox Rite today. I'd been contamplating it for the last couple of weeks. And the simple fact is that I have no desire to be around my former grovemates. All I'll hear is how I haven't been around or how I let them down when I left. It'll be all about them, with no recognition that I might have been hurt or have any feelings. They could say any horrible, hateful thing to me they could possibly think up but the minute I suggested any of them were less then perfect or possibly out of line, I was told I was being "unprofessional". Exactly when was I getting paid again?
The thing that kills me is that it's not all of them- just a few. The others I'd love to see & I'm sure they wonder about me. Some of them I know even had the same misgivings about certain directions being taken. It's really sad when people's self-centered pettiness get in the way of spiritual practice.
I'm realy tired of being the one that gets blamed for everything. I just don't have the energy to deal with that kind of shit . And it breaks my heart that the the group I founded has turned out the way it has.